After many years I finally unleashed (in a nice way) to my relatives about their lack of assistance and now they are not communicating.
I was sick and tired of being told what to do and never having anyone step up and assist. Only assistance we were given was being told what WE should do. When time comes to dole out inheritance they will step up and take but never lifted a finger. to me this is not about money it is about Fair share. I have not spoken to my husbands side for over a year. I feel better because I already know what I need to do and don't need to be told. My husband is non confrontational. I feel as if for all I have done he is not grateful at all. Our relationship has suffered because of it. In the very least I feel as if he should back me up. I know there are others out there dealing with this. Who needs relatives who only act as Elderly Help desk sons and daughters? It is disgraceful.
Yes, the relatives should, at the very least, have refrained from telling you what to do.
Yes, your husband should back you up.
Now you feel better, without communicating with the Help Desk folks.
So all is well ...
Except your marriage relationship has suffered. You want him to show gratitude, but apparently he is not. You want him to back you up. What is he doing that doesn't back you up? Is he still communicating with his relatives? Just what should he be doing at this time (not a year ago, but now)?
Have you considered marriage counseling? That's where the problem is, that is where you should get help. That is, if you both consider the marriage worth saving.
When did you unleash (nicely) on them? I expect they're keeping a low profile.
Never mind back you up, your husband should be grateful to you not only for all the support you provide but also for speaking plainly with his siblings. Once he's got over his qualms about the confrontation perhaps he'll realise that what you said needed saying. Good for you.