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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Your profile says your mom has dementia. I would ask if she is doing this on purpose or is it running out without her knowledge. I'll address both:
Depending on which stage she is in, getting her to stop mishandling her feces, if that is what is happening, may not be possible. For some reason, it's not an uncommon problem with dementia patients. I just posted a response to another question about this same issue this morning.
If the feces are running out of her panties without her knowing it, then I would explore adult diapers. Extra pads can also be used in them for extra protection. I would also chain her diet so her stools are not so loose. Talk to her doctor about meds if diet doesn't work.
Often, it's not an accident that the feces are mishandled. The person's brain is not working properly and they aren't able to realize that what they are doing is unhealthy and unwanted behavior. No reasoning or tips will help her stop doing it. The only thing I can think of is to supervise her at all times, so that she is never allowed in the bathroom without assistance. That way you can ensure she toilets properly. She may no longer be able to toilet herself.
If it still is a problem, there are onsies for adults that can be purchased for her to wear. They button in the back and the patient is not able to get her pants down and remove the feces. You might also consider diapers if she is not cooperating.
Susan, you mentioned in your profile that your Mom has Alzheimer's/Dementia, sad to say this behavior will only get worse instead of better. See if there is a pattern of time where your Mom goes to use the bathroom, and you go in with her to help her.... it won't be easy and your Mom might refuse to have you there with her but it will be easier than cleaning up the mess.
You might need to take your Mom into the bathroom every hour whether she wants to go or not. Run the water into the sink as that will make some people go.
Susan, I just saw your post about her taking her diapers off to go to the bathroom. I would explore the adult onsies that would prevent her from taking off her diaper. I have never used them for my loved one, but other here have. Perhaps they can give you more details about them.
And, I would lock the bathroom door so she can't go in by herself. Keep a close eye, so you can change her properly when needed, removing the chance for her to mishandle the contents.
It's very difficult to handle this in the home. I have a good friend who's mother had this issue with her dementia. He had to find placement for her, after hiring professionals to keep his house on multiple occasions. There would be no shame in asking for help on this.
This whole situation is really hard for me and I am really losing my patience. I just feel like crying ( a lot) today in desparation after spending so long cleaning shoe bottoms and the bathroom floor, ect.. I just keep cleaning it up and still the house doesn't smell right. I want to keep caring for her at home, but I need some solution to this? This is really difficult for me. Has anyone experienced this and what did they do to stop this behavior. I tried depends, but she still just takes them off to go to the bathroom.
Hello, thank you for the answers and ideas. It helps to know im not alone. She doesn't recall how it ends up on floor. I will try taking her to use the restroom and try to figure out when she goes to the bathroom. It is true that will be much less work than the cleaning up.
I've been taking mom to the restroom every few hours but have missed a couple of mornings where she has had an accident in bed. She maybe is not removing depends consistently I found out, before sitting down. Maybe she does not remember how to do this. I am more used to the new habit I have now of taking her to the restroom. She seems to be doing better. It seems to happen if I leave her alone for a little while. I am using day programs more often.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Depending on which stage she is in, getting her to stop mishandling her feces, if that is what is happening, may not be possible. For some reason, it's not an uncommon problem with dementia patients. I just posted a response to another question about this same issue this morning.
If the feces are running out of her panties without her knowing it, then I would explore adult diapers. Extra pads can also be used in them for extra protection. I would also chain her diet so her stools are not so loose. Talk to her doctor about meds if diet doesn't work.
Often, it's not an accident that the feces are mishandled. The person's brain is not working properly and they aren't able to realize that what they are doing is unhealthy and unwanted behavior. No reasoning or tips will help her stop doing it. The only thing I can think of is to supervise her at all times, so that she is never allowed in the bathroom without assistance. That way you can ensure she toilets properly. She may no longer be able to toilet herself.
If it still is a problem, there are onsies for adults that can be purchased for her to wear. They button in the back and the patient is not able to get her pants down and remove the feces. You might also consider diapers if she is not cooperating.
You might need to take your Mom into the bathroom every hour whether she wants to go or not. Run the water into the sink as that will make some people go.
And, I would lock the bathroom door so she can't go in by herself. Keep a close eye, so you can change her properly when needed, removing the chance for her to mishandle the contents.
It's very difficult to handle this in the home. I have a good friend who's mother had this issue with her dementia. He had to find placement for her, after hiring professionals to keep his house on multiple occasions. There would be no shame in asking for help on this.