I live with her and here pretty much 24/7. She is my sister mother law And this journey taking care her has been stressful But i know i'm trying my best But i know she doesn't understand And she argumentive She doesn't need much help Her physcial help is good But mental is decline So i don;t feel productive And i would like to find a job That would be stabillity And I hope this is selfish of me But i need answer To know what to do Thank you Carolyn
Caregiving for a loved one is probably the most difficult thing any of us will undertake. It's isolating and menial and physically demanding. Probably your sister's MIL is not accepting of her condition because her physical health is good. If you live in her house, just let her do what she can do to the best of her abilities. I mean not only for herself, but for the house as well. Maybe she needs a lot of supervision in the kitchen, but do it in a friendly way, as co-chefs to start with, and maybe she can load and unload the dishwasher. At this point, you can just be a companion, maybe.
Perhaps you can find a part-time job or shift work that would have some flexibility. Do you have anyone to help with the yardwork and home maintenance? Summer is coming - the grass will begin growing again. Maybe you could plan to have a garden and MIL could work in it. That would be good for her and you could eat the vegetables!
How long have you lived with her? Eventually, her body may begin to give way to old age ailments. Arthritis, for one. Perhaps Osteoporosis. This could be a job that goes on for many years to come and if you're already burned out, well, you need a plan for the future. How long do you plan to live with her? Is there money to hire aides as they are needed?
She sounds like she'd be a good candidate for assisted living, if that is possible. And you could go on with your life and find a job that will support you and some savings for YOUR future.
Good luck.
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