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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Just because she has benefits to pay for a care home doesn't mean she needs one or wants to live in one. She may be wasting away due to her health issues rather than from lack of care. Visit. Send her husband off to do some guy things (or just to get supplies) and spend a few hours or the day with her. Do girl stuff together, a mani/pedi or spa day. Talk to her as a friend, ask her how things are for her and what she needs to make her life better.
Thanks for your response cwillie. Patti is unable to speak, or move without assistance. I have sat with her many times as her husband grocery shops, etc. She is dropping weight fast and his choice of foods is not nutritious. He does not take care of her basic hygiene. I will speak with our minister to see if he can speak with the husband to rule out any chance that the husband is doing this as a penance for his military service.
If she has children ask one of them to call APS and ask for a well check stating they feel their father is unable to care for her. If no kids, you can do it.
I'm calling the only child who resides in VA in January to ask her to visit her father and (my friend who is the step-mother) in AZ. She has not visited at all to see what has happened to her step-mother. The stroke occurred in April. She has no idea the state her step-mother is in.
Is there anyone who might have more influence on her husband, a male friend or old army connection? Has your friend been able to get any medical check ups at all so you could possibly state your concerns to her medical team? I hate to advise the nuclear option of contacting APS but if he can't be reasoned with then it may be the only option.
Thanks for your thoughts. Since I'm not family, I can't get in touch with her medical team which is at the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix. To my knowledge she has no case-worker assigned to checks on her. She is doing some physical and speech rehab locally, but unknown if their noting her physical condition at all. My friends husband is difficult to get info out of.
So, I'm going to try the minister next as he also has a working relationship with the husband who is the head elder of the church.
I was hesitating, but having read some of the OP's replies to questions I'm not now. Straight to APS.
If the lady's failure to thrive comes from clinical causes rather than her husband's lack of ability, nobody will blame him AND they will also be able to check him out at the same time, which is just as important.
How many caregivers die before the people they care for, remind me? And this man is a veteran and a stroke survivor?
I'd say they both need support, and if he won't ask then he'll have to be told.
If he wont place in a VA home I know there are VA services for visits he can get in home. Maybe see if he would be willing to go that route first. If with this help he still is unable to provide adequate care id think the VA nurse would report it.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Patti is unable to speak, or move without assistance. I have sat with her many times as her husband grocery shops, etc. She is dropping weight fast and his choice of foods is not nutritious. He does not take care of her basic hygiene. I will speak with our minister to see if he can speak with the husband to rule out any chance that the husband is doing this as a penance for his military service.
Thanks JoAnn 29.
So, I'm going to try the minister next as he also has a working relationship with the husband who is the head elder of the church.
Thanks for your feedback.
If the lady's failure to thrive comes from clinical causes rather than her husband's lack of ability, nobody will blame him AND they will also be able to check him out at the same time, which is just as important.
How many caregivers die before the people they care for, remind me? And this man is a veteran and a stroke survivor?
I'd say they both need support, and if he won't ask then he'll have to be told.