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I need to speak to someone familiar with the options and processes about durable Powers of Attorney, Living Trusts, the Affordable Care Act, Veterans' Administration Benefits, COBRA, Medicare, etc. I have ADHD, a lifelong struggle with depression and anxiety, and I just don't speak bureaucrat-ese. So telling me to read all the stuff is just not going to happen.


I need to give our basic profile to someone who gets all that, or even just most of it, so I can make the right decisions to protect my husband and myself. I just singlehandedly won us a VA re-fi, and would have it, if he hadn't gotten fired at the eleventh hour. So I know I can handle things. I just need someone to speak plain English to me. Or at least translate Bureaucracy-speak. I don't retain specialized vocabulary very well. I also don't have any native sense of doing things done in the right order so that I don't shoot myself in the foot. For example: Durable Power of Attorney and living trust come BEFORE dementia diagnosis, I just found out, before I almost made my own situation worse. Thank you. I'm patient and I have a sense of humor. Thank you so much for any response.

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I don't have ADHD and I hate to read all that stuff too
. I do better sitting with someone who explains and shows me how to do it. I can then use the written stuff to reference.

All this healthcare stuff is very confusing. Don't think you r the only one who doesn't understand it all.
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Call your Office of the Aging. See if they have a person who can take you are thru all the ins and outs of healthcare. Ask also if they have someone can explain POAs and can give you a name of a lawyer who can draw them up on a sliding scale.
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I will just answer to the durable POA as I know about that well. I dont believe you can achieve that for your husband if there is truly dementia. Possibly you might if it is in early stages but not necessarily. He would have to have a clear understanding that you are acting in his best interests for a lawyer to act on that. Hopefully others will answer your other questions. I believe if you cannot get durable POA you may have to resort to guardianship which sadly is costly. If your husband was recently fired perhaps he is not in such a bad mental state and could be reasoned with. If that is possible I would act quickly on that issue.
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