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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My sister wants us to take care of my mom in her home for the rest of her life. After 5 years I’m tired. I think it’s time she went to a nursing home. She has difficulty walking, getting dressed, going to the bathroom, and talking. She’s 92.
Tell your sister that you have reached the end of your rope and that mom needs professional care. If she is determined to keep mom home she will be flying solo.
Just because we are willing doesn't mean we can force others to follow our program. If she wants it, she can do it. There comes a time when it is unfair to ALL involved to try this at home. The care you described is 24/7/365 and mom will be okay in professional care.
It is not easy to do but when you are on empty it is the right choice.
Don't let her bully you into continuing, tell her you are done as of --- mom goes into a facility or you do it alone. Now it's her choice to make.
Thanks for your reply... I am 71, and was a teacher. My sister was a social worker at a mental hospital. I think she’s had a little more practice at helping the mentally challenged... I’ve done 24 hours a week for the last 5 years. Poor Mom can’t do anything so it’s virtually sitting, which drives me crazy😩
If your sister THINKS she can care for Mom great..... Maybe if sister comes and stays with Mom for a week that might give her a good idea as to what you are facing. If Mom is still in her home you need to keep a few things in mind. She may be fine this week, or this month but what happens next month when she "all of a sudden" can not get into the shower?, or climb the stairs, or starts to wander?, or decides that night time is the time that she should be awake and sleep all day?, or she wants to....whatever is next in her mind to do? Are you with her 24/7/365? or is she alone some of the time. There will be a time when she can not be alone. Is the house adaptable for what comes next? Wheelchair, Sit-to-stand?, Hoyer lift? Roll in shower? large enough bathroom to get equipment into?
And you may be jumping the gun a bit on the "nursing home" maybe Memory Care facility is what she needs. This will keep her occupied with projects, engaged with other people and outings once in a while if it is safe for her to do so.
But if sister thinks she can do it let her stay with Mom, offer the same amount and type of help she gives you. If sister can do it let her take on this task and see how far it goes. It might also be possible that you just need a break. There are many Memory Care facilities that you could put Mom in for Respite care, a week break might be good for both of you and you can see how well she does in a Memory Care facility with staff that have been trained in Memory care.
I think that terminology is region specific, here is AZ memory care is lock down. No one walks, everyone is in a wheelchair, no outings, not even pictures on the walls, sterile environment.
I believe that you need an assessment by professional people to determine what level of care is required, you can't just put some one into a facility, AL here even requires a doctor to verify you need assistance with ADLs.
So I am sure it would be a needs appropriate placement.
Do you live with Mom? Or you take turns caring for her? Is she ever alone?
I would say its time for professional care. She is only going to continue to decline. If she is 92 your are in your 60s? You are a senior too. You will or have limitations. Me, I am 5 ft tall so I have no leverage when helping people bigger than me. And I refuse to hurt my back trying.
Hi JoAnn, Thanks for your reply. I am 71. Yes, I am a senior taking care of a senior, When Mom falls, I have to call someone to help me get her up. She’s about 165 pounds and I’m 130. Mother is very healthy, and could live another 10 years.. Her times of agitation are mentally taxing. My sister was a social worker at a mental hospital. I was a teacher.. I think she’s had a little more practice.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Just because we are willing doesn't mean we can force others to follow our program. If she wants it, she can do it. There comes a time when it is unfair to ALL involved to try this at home. The care you described is 24/7/365 and mom will be okay in professional care.
It is not easy to do but when you are on empty it is the right choice.
Don't let her bully you into continuing, tell her you are done as of --- mom goes into a facility or you do it alone. Now it's her choice to make.
Maybe if sister comes and stays with Mom for a week that might give her a good idea as to what you are facing.
If Mom is still in her home you need to keep a few things in mind.
She may be fine this week, or this month but what happens next month when she "all of a sudden" can not get into the shower?, or climb the stairs, or starts to wander?, or decides that night time is the time that she should be awake and sleep all day?, or she wants to....whatever is next in her mind to do?
Are you with her 24/7/365? or is she alone some of the time. There will be a time when she can not be alone.
Is the house adaptable for what comes next? Wheelchair, Sit-to-stand?, Hoyer lift? Roll in shower? large enough bathroom to get equipment into?
And you may be jumping the gun a bit on the "nursing home" maybe Memory Care facility is what she needs. This will keep her occupied with projects, engaged with other people and outings once in a while if it is safe for her to do so.
But if sister thinks she can do it let her stay with Mom, offer the same amount and type of help she gives you. If sister can do it let her take on this task and see how far it goes.
It might also be possible that you just need a break. There are many Memory Care facilities that you could put Mom in for Respite care, a week break might be good for both of you and you can see how well she does in a Memory Care facility with staff that have been trained in Memory care.
I believe that you need an assessment by professional people to determine what level of care is required, you can't just put some one into a facility, AL here even requires a doctor to verify you need assistance with ADLs.
So I am sure it would be a needs appropriate placement.
I would say its time for professional care. She is only going to continue to decline. If she is 92 your are in your 60s? You are a senior too. You will or have limitations. Me, I am 5 ft tall so I have no leverage when helping people bigger than me. And I refuse to hurt my back trying.
Mother is very healthy, and could live another 10 years.. Her times of agitation are mentally taxing. My sister was a social worker at a mental hospital. I was a teacher.. I think she’s had a little more practice.