I've been taking care of my husband since December/2019. I know I need a break, but I can't help but feel guilty. Did I do the right thing? It was unsettling to just drop him off at the front entrance and not even able to accomodate him to his room because of COVID restrictions. I got highly emotional and broke down in the parking lot. He will be there for 5 nights without any visitations whatsoever from family or friends.
I realize that I know I'm not the only one who has gone through this.
After you go pick him up from respite, make reservations for his next stay so you'll have something to look forward to.
I wish you well.
I was a basket case.
I worried that he would be so used to institutional living that I might not be able to bring him home.
I was worried that if something did happen I was a half a world away and I would not get to him in time.
I was worried that he would forget who I was (I was not sure if he knew who I was anyway)
I was worried that I did not really know who I was without someone to care for, could I have fun, could I enjoy myself and not feel guilty that I was doing this without him. (even before he had dementia he would have hated this trip, he would have gone for me but he would not have enjoyed it)
I had no need to worry.
He came home, walked in and went and sat in his recliner like he always did.
Nothing major happened.
I did have a good time.
I came home more relaxed. We both fell into the same routine.
By the way I was gone for almost 3 weeks...your 5 nights will pass quickly, more quickly than you can imagine.
Enjoy your time away. No one can be "on the job" 24/7. You need this break.
Try and take advantage of this time to catch up on some rest. I know the feeling is while you have the time, "let me clean the house, and catch up on laundry, and run all my errands, etc.", but this is time for you to recuperate! You will be a much better, more caring, more empathetic, more efficient caregiver is you use this time to get some much-needed rest.
member is not the same as working a shift and going home for the night or weekend. You need this break.
Can I suggest that you take this time to get rested and do some things that help you feel fulfilled and good. Then when you bring him home, find a housekeeper that can do the house 2x a month and find a companion sitter to come in every other week for as many hours as you can afford or whatever is free from local services and do some things for you.
Being the best you takes effort, you must create chances to enrich you so you can be the best caregiver possible.
Great big warm hug!🤗
You also should consider that you're doing perhaps the best thing you can to ensure that you're still able to care for him, by taking time for yourself.
I understand becoming emotional; I don't know of anyone who wouldn't under the circumstances. It's a reflection of how much you care.
I'm assuming that he has access to a phone, and you can call him periodically?