My hubby after 8 months of being sober and almost dying in the hospital last November, started drinking again about 4 days now.
The doc just informed him that the part of his liver that is not scarred looked to be doing ok, this was before he decided to drink.
He has a huge umbilical hernia and just said he was scared, because it was hard to push in and hurt for a while. He says it’s not hurting now, but I think it is. I said let’s go to the hospital, all he said was no, I’ll get Covid-19.
All he’s ate today is a McGriddle from McDonald’s lol, but says he’s not hungry. He’s just drinking beer, but seems to have a lot of congestion he keeps spitting up.
I’m scared, because I don’t know how to help him. He’s being cordial but just does not look right. He has not taken his medication for going on 4 days now, even when I try to tell him to.
I don't have a clue what you should do but I pray that you are okay and know that I am praying for you.
If you are afraid for his well being please do not hesitate to call 911
I'm so sorry for what you are experiencing with your husband. He doesn't seem to realize how upset and scared you are in this situation.
Doctors prefer oxygen levels to be at least 95 or higher. When my mom had to go to a rehab facility for physical therapy after she nearly died from severe dehydration and contracting COVID in her AL facility, her oxygen went down to 72 when she was transported there from the hospital. She's never had it that low so they put her on oxygen. Thankfully, it went up to 93 but they did ask me what I wanted to do if it goes down into the 80's while she's on oxygen. We already had DNR orders in place so I said they would have to call hospice in. She would not be going back to any hospital at that point - those were her wishes. She didn't have anymore problems after that where the oxygen levels were concerned.
With blood pressure my husband's rose to 150/110. When the top number reaches 200 - it's ER time. Hopefully, now that he is back to taking his medication he will continue to do so. But, if he stops again and it gets real high. Just go into another room and call 911 - don't give him a choice or allow him to put you through this needlessly. Let the emergency personnel handle the situation. I sure hope things settle down for you - I'll pray for you - that you may have peace and cooperation from your husband! Take care -
You saved his life by doing that.
Do it again. Please.
You can’t change anyone’s behavior unless they want to change. If I was told by my doctor that my liver was scarred due to alcohol I would quit drinking as Alcoholism is a disease too. Maybe your husband is in denial of how sick he is. Maybe he feels like he almost died last November and has another chance now. Whether he takes the ball and runs with it is his choice.
I’d have him make an appt with a general surgeon to have that umbilical hernia evaluated and possibly repaired. If it gets too large husband can develop a small bowel obstruction & can potentially get very ill from this.
Who is providing him with alcohol? Does he admit he has a drinking problem? Maybe switch out the beer for a non alcohol brand?
You can lead a horse to water but can’t make them drink. He stopped his Lactulose once; is he back to taking it now?
You are doing the best you can under the circumstances. Alcoholism affects the entire family. There is Alcoholic Anonymous for him and Al-Anon for family members. You can join the family support groups in your area to provide support for yourself to learn coping mechanisms to live with an alcoholic. Good luck Gina.
as far as who is buying it, he is, I informed him when he almost died that I would never buy again.
he refuses to go to Er and told me he will deny the paramedics. He keeps spitting up the beer kind of like foam, and has a lot of plemgn, his bp this morning is 184/97 and oxygen is at 80.
i know he needs to go to Er, but he is still thinking right so the peramedics won’t take him. 😢
They have gave you some good advice on here about calling 911. If he is not doing well just go into another room and make the call. You could save his life.
I too had an umbiblical hernia. Can't play around with that.
I am sorry for what you are going through.
Have you called Hospice? If he wants to not take meds and doesn't want medical intervention, he should at least should be made comfortable while he is dying. And it would be some support for you.
I would tell him if he loved me and wanted to be with me longer, then he needs to go get the care he needs.
I can’t get him to go to hospital or doctor, he is lucid but looks bloated, all he wants is beer no food, and I asked him if he was ok, he said with the exception of a pulled muscle on his upper right chest, a broken tooth and a headache he is ok. He said his hernia only hurts when it’s pushed out of his belly button area, it’s sooooo big
call Dr
he could have a stroke
just call
He’s not thinking clearly so you need to
Are you simply going to listen to what he tells you he does or doesn't want? If so, that's just FINE, but then you don't need us to tell you other things to do.
The headache is from the elevated BP; he's most likely going to stroke out and then perhaps you'll be handling someone who is totally bed bound and double incontinent. If that's what you are up for, then don't call for help.
Look we are all going to die one way or the other; I think that dying should be comfortable and not a terrible thing for our loved ones to watch. That's why I suggested that you get in touch with his doctor to get a hospice evaluation started, because your husband doesn't appear to want any more interventions. And I can understand that.
Just call his doc and talk to her/him and see what they say.
Bp 171/110
Oxygen 82 pulse 73 @ 9:02 pm
Bp 178/95
Oxygen 79 pulse 93 @10:10 pm
7/21/20
Bp 184/97 @8:45am
Oxygen 80 pulse 90
Bp 131/87 oxygen 81 @1:32pm
so I’m glad his bp went down however his oxygen is still at 81, he doesn’t really seem confused. He did finally have a little homemade meatloaf, which made me happy. He still looks bloated but does not look like any edema praise God. Still drinking beer.
Based on what you are telling us, it sounds like your husband might be experiencing a combination of several problems: (A) congestive heart failure—symptoms include spitting up phlegm that looks like foam, shortness of breathe, chronic cough or wheezing, edema, nausea or lack of appetite, a high heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and confusion or impaired thinking. (B) ASCITES--which is fluid inside the abdomen. Symptoms include weight gain, shortness of breath, abdominal swelling, sense of fullness or bloating, sense of heaviness, indigestion, nausea or vomiting and changes to the belly button. (C) O2 Sat of 80% caused by both (A) & (B).
It is possible that your husband is not thinking properly because he is not getting enough oxygen to his brain—even tho he is lucid. If his O2 Sat continues in the low 80s, he will start to experience organ damage or organ shut down. He will either have a heart attack and require CPR or have a stroke.
Does your husband take any diuretics such as Lasix (furmoside)? If you can get him to take his diuretic, it might help get some of the fluid out of his lungs, heart and abdomen.
Have you contacted your husband’s doctor and told him what you are telling us? Is your husband receiving oxygen?
I know that it is difficult to watch someone get worse and refuse to do something about it. The COVID-19 excuse might be covering your husband’s fear of dying and by not acknowledging that he needs to go to the ER, then your husband can avoid thinking of dying.
Please keep us updated on your husband’s condition. Prayers 🙏
Keep telling us what is going on, too. We care!
I maybe overstepping this forum but
if those BP and O2 levels are correct-you know how bad that is and you need to get him care-
is anyone there -a neighbour or friend that can help you?
this could be awful and he is still drinking according to you
-you have been told by others that he is likely going to have a stroke or HA
and your not reacting rationally -Are you in denial?
you are watching this man drink and puke frothy spittle and eat meatloaf with a 180+ BP And low oxygen
as if that’s a normal night-it shouldn’t be
You have reached out on this forum and have been told how much damage is potentially happening to his body And what may happen by people with experience in these situations -
i don’t understand why you are acting the way you are but he needs medical help
Although he stated he will not go to the hospital, call 911 anyway. You never know. The EMS may convince him and he just may go.
You can not just sit back and do nothing. Don't neglect him. Do your part. I know it is hard but be strong and do the right thing NOW.
His very low Oxygen number tells us that things have gone very wrong. Has the doc called you back yet?
The reason that his oxygen level is going lower when he is laying down is because his lungs and heart are having to work harder to push the blood through his blood vessels. Also, he is not able to expand his lungs as much as when he is sitting up. Your husband needs to be in a reclining or sitting position with his legs elevated.
How much lasix were you able to get your husband to take? He needs at least 40 mg now!!!
I agree with Barb that the O2 saturation is much more important than what his pulse rate is.
The day he died, Dad's pulse was 88 irregular, respirations were 36 and he had to raise his shoulders to help him breathe better, and BP was 154/92 (according to records Dad & Mom kept at home for doctor's information). He and Mom had just finished eating supper in their bedroom. Mom took the dishes back to the kitchen. She heard a loud thud, ran to the bedroom and found Dad lying on the floor. She called 911. Since they lived in a small town, the police arrived in seconds and started CPR. Mom was horrified watching the policeman and then the EMTs push on her husband's chest. They transferred him to the ER and continue CPR until I arrived 30+ minutes later. Mom did not want to tell the doctor to stop the CPR, so I had to tell the doctor to stop CPR and then Dad "officially" died. For the rest of her life, Mom could not talk about Dad's death without sobbing uncontollably and reliving his receiving CPR and watching his lifeless body being carried through the garage to the ambulance.
Unfortunately, unless you can get your husband to go to the hospital, you might be experiencing a similar scenario when your husband dies at home.
Edit: My Dad knew that he was dying and he did not want to die in the hospital connected to tubes and wires because he knew nothing that the doctors were going to do would help him get better--maybe live alittle longer in pain and misery. He wanted to die at home...and he did.
I promise, your husband is not the first patient they've responded to that says they won't go to the hospital. They can usually be very persuasive. I have seen them talk the most stubborn person into an ambulance. You won't lose anything by calling them, and then if, heaven forbid, something happens to your husband, at least you know you did everything you could.
you know he needs medical help-and you don’t want to for whatever reason
you should call someone who is willing to help him
Does he have family? Friends?
You can call an ambulance all day and the person requiring medical attention can refuse help, every time, until they are unconscious or out of their heads.
To imply that she is letting him sit there to die is just wrong on so many levels that I can't just ignore your post.
Some people are not so easy to help.
i just took his BP again and it was 130/81, with an oxygen 79, when he lays down his oxygen is even lower.
You really need some guidance from a medical professional.
Suggesting again that you reach out to get hospice involved.
I apologize for taking so long to get back. So on my husband’s blood test it looks like his liver is showing good levels which is amazing. It’s still very scarred and we know that that will not ever heal. He has slow down actually almost nothing on drinking beer and his blood pressure and oxygen are pretty much normal for the past few days. I think it’s because he wasn’t taking his medication not just the lactulose but also his regular pills and that was probably messing with him.
His oxygen is up and down, but going down again. The last time I took it, it was 71. His pulse 78 that was earlier today.
He is very agitated over everything, and wants to sleep.
He still wants to eat, which is good and he doesn't look jaundice. His stomach looks bigger.
I am preparing for the worst, but hoping for the best.