My hubby after 8 months of being sober and almost dying in the hospital last November, started drinking again about 4 days now.
The doc just informed him that the part of his liver that is not scarred looked to be doing ok, this was before he decided to drink.
He has a huge umbilical hernia and just said he was scared, because it was hard to push in and hurt for a while. He says it’s not hurting now, but I think it is. I said let’s go to the hospital, all he said was no, I’ll get Covid-19.
All he’s ate today is a McGriddle from McDonald’s lol, but says he’s not hungry. He’s just drinking beer, but seems to have a lot of congestion he keeps spitting up.
I’m scared, because I don’t know how to help him. He’s being cordial but just does not look right. He has not taken his medication for going on 4 days now, even when I try to tell him to.
I’m sorry you are going through this. Your husband is an alcoholic (Per your post prior to this). He has been diagnosed with alcoholic cirrhosis. He should not be drinking at all.
Alcoholism is a disease that effects the entire family. I’ve seen too many of these cases as a nurse. The CG struggles with the patients bad decisions. I feel you are a caring individual who is stuck in an awful situation. You love your husband and want him to get better. But his addiction is in the way.
His liver is dying. Liver tissue does not regenerate. Hubby drinking alcohol is gradually but surely killing off the rest of his liver.
I recommend Al-Anon for you to provide support to an alcoholic who is actively in the process of killing himself. Alcoholism is a disease in itself. The alcoholic has no control over his choices and will continue to make bad decisions due to alcohol addiction. Until your hubby wants to stop drinking there is not much you can do except find support for yourself and your well being.
Best wishes to you. Please take care of yourself too.
I wanted to ask another question, you are so wonderful to give me information. My husband will not stop drinking beer because he says he doesn’t want to shock his body. However when he drinks it, he immediately spits up the foam every single time. His bowel movements are never solid and always has a little bit of blood. He says it’s a bleeding hemorrhoid and hurts him all the time, says it stings and burns. His stomach is huge I’m thinking ascites. Idk, he is supposed to get a Kat scan per his GI doctor, but doesn’t think he needs it. And as of yesterday his feet started swelling. I have a numerous amount of times indicated that I want to take him to emergency, but he says there is nothing they can do. I do not understand why he won’t let me take him in. All he says is he doesn’t want to catch covid or die in the hospital. He sleeps a lot during the day and up most of the night. He does have a primary appointment on Thursday, where I’m hoping he tells his doctor everything that is happening. His umbilical hernia is bulging out of his belly button area and ripping through causing it to bleed as well. I am so distraught because I want to help him, but he keeps telling me not to worry and I do. :(
Take a look at what I wrote on July 22nd about my Dad and how he died. What you describe in your reply to Shane sounds just like my Dad prior to his collapsing at home.
Your husband is right--that this stage of his illness, there is very little that the doctors can do--except to extend his life for a few more days or hours. (Or make him more comfortable by giving him some pain medications.)
Unfortunately if your husband does not want to go to the hospital then you are going to have to wait until he does collapse, like my Dad did, and then you will be able to call 911. They will do everything they can to save your husband, The paramedics and EMTs will have to perform CPR on your husband when they are called.
I wish that I could take away your anguish and worry and fear, but I cannot. All you can do now is let nature take its course and let your husband die as he wishes--at home.
Have you talked with hospice yet? You should talk with your doctor about hospice tomorrow ASAP if your husband is still alive then. I know that I sound gruesome, but your husband is actively dying and could die within the next 24 hours (based on what you wrote).
Lots of HUGS 💖 and Prayers!!! 🙏
I just read that your husband has an appointment with his primary doctor on Thursday. Call that doctor tomorrow-Wednesday and tell him what is happening and why your husband does not want to go to the hospital and ask that the doctor to see your husband on Wednesday. Don't wait until Thursday to see the doctor. Your husband's condition is too critical to wait.
Gina, you keep asking for suggestions.
We keep telling you to call 911.
Why won't you do that?
You husband is dying. He is suffering from insufficient oxygen to his brain. He is not thinking clearly. YOU need to be the one in charge now.
You have 2 choices. One is to call a local hospice organization. They will send someone to examine him. The other is to call 911 and have the EMTs examine him.
I would certainly fear not doing anything and allowing him to die unattended. If he dies with no evidence of medical care, you will be asked why you didn't summon care for him.
You don't talk your husband into letting you call for help. YOU call for help.
There is a hospice organization in Hesperia called Amazing Grace Hospice.
Call the doc in the AM and ask "Is it time to call hospice if my husband won't go to the hospital?"
(((((((Hugs))))))))
You don't know how to go to your private messages. There is no reason I cannot post here for you, as I know the feeling. I am still learning my way around the page after more than a year.
Gina, is your husband still entirely rational? Is this the reason you are not "taking things into your own hands" and calling 911? Or do you not understand that your husband may be now ACTIVELY dying? Have you asked your Husband "Hon, do you want me to call 911 if I cannot arouse you; if I believe that you are dying".
You say that your husband said "They cannot do anything" if he goes to ER. Indeed, that may be the case. IF that is the case then your Doctor will order hospice. There should be paperwork called a POLST in place so ambulance drivers don't attempt to resuscitate (if legal in your state).
But it is time for all of you, husband, you and doctor, to talk about all of this and make decisions.
It is time to face the fact that your husband may be dying of his cirrhosis. There is nothing that we on forum can do to help you. You must have the help and advice of medical care whatever the decisions are. If you knowingly allow a dying person to simply die you could be accused of neglect. This is what we are trying to prevent for you. I think it unlikely, with his history, and the way he will "present" now (look).....but it is a possibility. And it may leave you questioning yourself as to what you "should have/could have done".
I am so relieved you have an appointment today. However, if anything happens to prevent this "appointment" you must call 911 and have your husband taken to the hospital. (With your description of late I can't imagine how you will get him to an appointment at this time). THERE they will document his refusal for treatment even if such decision does indeed take him more quickly.
We are all on the Forum worried for you both. Our thoughts are with you. We wish you both only the best that can be.
POST AND DNR FORMS SHOULD BE IN PLACE.
LIVING TRUST AND/OR WILL SHOULD BE IN PLACE.
LOVE AND COMPASSION SHOULD BE IN PLACE.
911 cannot help him, if he does not want to be helped. If it is physical, perhaps he doesn't have the physical energy to help himself through that process.
feed him water. and if he feels he needs the taste of beer, well, put a spot in it for him to taste. after reading this, I need to slow down too, and stop the fast food. The fast food is slowing me down too. Nothing in my kitchen is fresh from the garden... :( except my lemon tree. I do use those in my water everyday. If yo see a lemon tree in your neighborhood with actual fruit, stop, knock on door and ask for a couple.. they seem to help me a bit. I met a lot of people by giving the fruit that is covering that tree...