I live in an independent living apartment for seniors. Can you suggest any plan of action for me?

Hi, I’m fairly new here And not sure I have any good answers for you but I just saw your post pop up and wanted you to know that I wish you well. I am dealing with my mom and also searching for guidance and understanding. Perhaps there is a Council on Aging or Senior Center near you that can connect you with resources. Perhaps a telephone call to your nephew is overdue to explain how you are managing (or not managing). Have you spoken to your doctor? I hope you you find the help you need—-good luck!

I think you know what I am going to say, because I am a retired RN, as well. I am 77; so we are not too far apart. I think now that you are worried enough that DO KNOW you must see your primary MD and ask for the neuro referral for the testing. You must know for yourself where you are now. And then you must meet with your nephew and come up with a plan.
I must tell you that anxiety, to my mind, is the worst enemy a failing mind can have. Since my brother went into assisted living his mentation is about 100% better than it was before; since I manage his trust, his bills, etc. his mind is so much more alert that I wonder WHY I am struggling along to do it. Anxiety is what a lot of your stuff is sounding like except for the "cannot do math" and the "failed the clock".
So step one. Bite the bullet. Off to your own doc for the referral.
Step two, get the test. Tell them exactly what you just told us. Can't do the math and can't do the clock (because honestly NONE OF US can find our danged keys and checkbook!).
OK woman. There ain't nothing so tough as an old RN! Get out there and get it done and then get back to us. And to your nephew as well. Make sure he is up to it and if necessary give him over the control of the purse and POA (if you trust him) NOW while you and he are ready to go together to the banks, the Social Security, and etc. because this would take a whole LOAD off your plate.
And yes, the knees and the walker are worrisome. You already know that. Are you driving? I hope not. Time to come up with a list of the assets and income. Time to look around at what is available for some future time if needed. To talk with Nephew about possibly moving to Senior living more near to him? You are right where you should be--that is to say, thinking about all this.
Get back to us. Stay in touch. Update us. I am going to worry about you until I hear more!

Dosmo13, I am in my 70's and I noticed my mind isn't as sharp as it once way.... just old fashioned age decline I keep telling myself.

The trick for keys and checkbooks is to place them in the same place each time. You can try saying out loud "I am putting my keys on __________". For some reason that helps with remembering.

As for failing the clock test, I bet the younger generation who have grown up with digital clocks cannot draw a clock by memory. For me, I rather have a clock face as I can judge quicker how much time I have left to go somewhere.

Oh, doing math in one's head, forgetaboutit. So many of use grew up with calculators that doing math in one's head is a lost skill. I'd be so lost without one.

When I was helping my parents, in their 90's, and needed to learn everything about Alzheimer's/Dementia just in case, I found myself over-sensitive should I forget someone's name, date, place, yada, yada, yada. I tend to freak out.

Then I had to keep reminding myself that being in the 70's means my brain is like file drawers, all those drawers are filled, some info misfiled, thus it takes us longer to find the info we need :P

For the tax accountant, get yourself a large legal size envelope and stuff everything that the accountant would need. And add to it during the rest of the year. If the item in the mail says "tax information", I don't even open it, just shove it into that envelop.

Dosmos: In answer to your update, do make an appointment NOW with your primary doctor. There tell what you have told here. I didn't know you had dealt with a cancer dx in past, so not only are we alike being RNs retired and of an age, but we both survived the big C. I am 31 years out from it. That complication makes me think that this checkup is all the more crucial now. I want you to take what you have posted here with you. Because if you say "Losing things" he or she will laugh and say "Oh, don't we ALL?" You need to tell them about the math problems, the clock problems, the not knowing what assets you have or how to figure out your monthly statements. This is going to have your MD arranging a neuro consult. They are the ones to do it and I would say it is crucial and nothing to be said or done until THAT is done, and you know where things stand. Having the cancer in the past can mean that you are dealing with some recurance; I don't want to scare you any on that one, but they can do good fixes on some of that stuff and you HAVE to know.
IF your nephew doesn't want to manage things, it would still be nice to be closer, and a bank or a fiduciary can be appointed to manage finances. That would be better, if costlier, than his doing it, especially if it is not clear what things there are. I hope you know where old tax forms are. They can help enormously. You need someone to help you just go through and file things for you right now. That can be done by an organizer, even.
Dosmos, Private message me here any time if you just need to talk.
I am so sorry you are going through this, and are so alone? Are there FRIENDS in the mix? Even that would be an enormous help.

Dosmo, I think one of the most important things to do as we age is to continue at some level or another the mental and physical activities of earlier years, and, most importantly, learn to use relaxation to refresh our brains. 

What hobbies do you have?  In what activities do you engage?   Do you read?  Do puzzles?   Work math problems? Craft?  Garden?

I've encountered similar experiences, thought about it a lot, and find that changing lifestyle behavior after the death of my last close family member and the stress it brought is helping me restore my brain function.

I firmly believe that, like physical exercise, our brains need mental exercise, whether it's working puzzles or doing complicated math problems. 

One pleasurable activity could be learning a new language, and meeting new people in the process.  You don't have to be highly conversant, just putting your mind in the learning mode will help.

Join a book club, even an online one if you're not able to physically get out easily.    Visit a Senior Center, meet new people, and take some classes, just for fun and to meet new people.   In fact, the art of getting acquainted is an excellent brain exercise in itself.

What hobbies did you used to do and still can do?   Which of them will stimulate your mind?  

Start with one new activity, something you enjoyed doing, and pursue it.   When your mind starts fogging up, take a break.

I remember when I was in college and was discussing this issue with a friend in law school (we were in our 20s).   She observed that sometimes she "meets herself coming and going."   This was after I shared that I felt as if my brain was being scrambled, in what I later learned was a superconductor.  

I still feel that way, especially when I think back on the challenges and anxiety of caregiving, and when I allow myself to become frustrated over the lack of accomplishment now.   So I take a break, read the English Garden magazines, and my mind starts soaring again with plans for new garden beds.  

Thinking is sometimes like running; you have to start at a moderate pace and work up to another level.

BTW, I'm in my mid-70s.  

Alva, something just occurred to me.  Who these days doesn't have a digital clock, with no little or big "hands"?    I haven't seen a round clock with "hands" and numbers in years.

It's all this digital stuff, with ugly red glaring numbers that are hard on  my eyes.

That might the issue there  - if she hasn't used an "old fashioned" clock, it might take her more time than allotted to figure it out.   

And I can also understand the difficulty with bank statements, especially if she does online banking.    Maybe she could try a bank statement section by section, taking breaks and doing something very positive in the interim.

I don't challenge your observations; I'm just thinking how these same issues have affected me.

And I can attest to the difficulty of reading bank statements in small print.   My eyes get a good workout squinting, which is another pet peeve - the reduction in size of many printed items, ranging from hospital consent forms to disclosure statements in purchase agreements.

GardenArtist, I've also noticed very few people even wear watches anymore. I know for myself, I feel lost without my watch which I have worn for for over 50 years. I started out with a Cinderella watch and worked up to one that has a daily date [to which is difficult to read now].

The last time I had to draw a face of a clock during a yearly physical, I quickly glanced over to my watch as I couldn't recall which arrows sizes were used for the hour and for the minutes :P

The bank I use recently changed over the format for their monthly bank statements. Actually it is easier to use. I know I could check my balance on-line but I rather not have on-line access.

There are tricks to help with losing things. Constant frustration about those failings can be almost as bad as the bigger issues. Suggestions: Get a little memo pad with a ring binder at the top, like mine 2”x5”. Write lists on that, and tear them off and bin them when they are done with – you can even tear below the top one, if the top one still matters. Get a cup hook and screw it into the side of a wooden cupboard. Hang a small bag off the cup hook. The bag is where you ALWAYS put the memo pad, the keys, the checkbook, and a pencil. If you can get those frequent annoyances under control, you may feel more in control and able to face the ‘bigger’ things.

FreqFlyer, good point about the watches. These days they're more a combination of some time functions along with workout and basic medical functions as well.    Great for the heavy duty workout folks.    I just want to know what time it is.  

Dosmo, something else occurred to me.   Have you had any recent blood tests and if so, were your values low on any of them, especially hemoglobin?   I find that if I don't really balance my food intake, my physical and mental functions deteriorate quickly.

Dosmo13, is your IL apartment part of a larger complex that offers a continuum of care? If not, as you figure out your physical issues, I'm wondering if you should consider finding AL in a senior community with a continuum of care near your nephew? He is the most likely person to be your best advocate, but he can't really do it from 6-hours away. If he is willing to do "some" oversight of your wellbeing, then at least 1) you will be near family; 2) you will be engaged in a community of like-people and 3) you won't need to worry about your medical care and your nephew won't have all the responsibility. I know it is a big step to pick up and move (and only if he is willing) so I'm not suggesting this lightly.

I also like Caroli1's suggestion about hiring a financial trustee, but that doesn't solve your help and care issues. If you have the financial means, you can hire a reputable in-home service (I have used Visiting Angels) to help you daily while you sort things out? Or, can you move to AL now if your community offers it? Wishing you blessings and peace!

Thanks for all the helpful suggestions from those who responded to me.

Margaret, I've begun to use a something like your "bag 'n hook" system for remembering important items. It does help! Also my new walker has a neat little bag with extra zippered pockets under the seat which has become a replacement for my purse. And I never lose my walker. Your big envelope labeled "tax info" is what I'm doing now. It will be a relief, if need be, to turn it over to someone else to figure out. And a businessman recently reminded me that it's most likely all on computer somewhere, so misplacing some things is not necessarily a crisis.

As for the clock, I haven't used a digital watch for years. The old "two-handed" type watch face worked better for my job anyway. And I always had trouble setting a digital type watch.

I live in an active independent living facility. They all play bridge, poker, rummikub (?) hand 'n foot etc. Not FUN for me because I can't remember the rules or what cards I've played. Nobody plays Scrabble ( I used to be really good at that....maybe not any longer, I don't know) I can still play Bingo, however, and I love to read! Also, I'll try to get back to word search and crossword puzzles on my own.
My favorite activities used to involve pets. But I recently had to have my 18 yr old cat put down due to diabetes and kidney failure. I still cry sometimes missing him. Maybe I could get transportation to help socialize some animals at a pet rescue. But would I be allowed with my poor mobility? I liked getting outdoors to observe wildlife, but don't know how to do that anymore.
Anyway, I appreciate all your suggestions.

I will make some neurological testing a priority, AlvaDeer. And I'll let you know how that turns out, but don't know how to send you a private e mail.
Dosmo

Kudos to those who have mentioned “anxiety” as a fouling agent for clear and relaxed and focused thought.
My anxiety level reduces my NEEDED sleep, my pleasure with homely old activities that I once relished, and positive, comfortable interactions with friends and loved ones.

It seems to me that I have read about some services run by the AARP for seniors with concerns like yours, Dosmo. Personally, I feel more confident about your sorts of questions if I can research them to some extent before actually talking to the humans involved in running them.

I concur with the suggestions previously offered for getting some formal assessment of your current circumstances. Although from your background, you must know, a diagnosis of something as nebulous as cognitive status can cause more concern without yielding information, there’s still a certain amount of security brought by getting more knowledge about what you’re dealing with.

You could hire someone to come in once or twice a week to help write checks and manage paperwork. You would need to be sure of their background and references, but I used to do that myself. I was the "home office" help and could help as well with errands, appointments, etc.

Look for senior agencies in your area which have referral services for things you need help with at home. Consider part-time in home help for things that are too difficult to manage.

Continue the activities you enjoy. Don't beat yourself up about the games and activities that you find frustrating or confusing. Is there a book club in your area that you could get to? That is sometimes a nice supplement to your reading choices.

Good luck to you and to us. I am likewise on my own in my late 70's and trying to plan ahead for managing life as my own abilities decline.

I also wanted to say, Good for you for paying attention to your own situation and for recognizing the need for a "Plan for Action!"

Local Area Agencies on Aging often offer trained and vetted volunteers to help seniors with money management. For example of the types of services: https://seniorconnections-va.org/services/support-to-stay-home/money-management/ The RSVP program also provides these kinds of services, http://seniorsinservice.org/volunteer/rsvp/bill-payer/ (these links are to particular programs as examples, since I don't know where you live.)

Dosmo, so sorry to hear about the loss of your kitty. We recently lost our 16 year old kitty (lymphoma) and I must say I'm having a terribly hard time with it even though I'm not alone as you are.

Is there a YMCA or similar facility near you that offers classes for seniors? Many people take classes (like Silver Sneakers) specifically to help them with balance. Classes also offer regular social contact and a chance to share ideas on how to cope with daily living.

I have a dear friend who is like a brother to me who has told me, more than once, that I worry too much. So I want to point out that some memory loss as we get older, as you know, is to be expected, and we just have to devise a plan to help us remember better. Keep an appt book, have one with an address/phone section in back. I like the hard copies rather than the computerized stuff anyhow.
My guess is the stress of this worry is complicating things, and may even impact scores if you are tested. Clearly you are sharp enough to communicate here (an on the computer!!!) and to have awareness of your concerns.
Even in the worst case scenario, you will be calmer knowing that you can make plans that would make you more comfortable. Assuming you have a good relationship with the nephew I would communicate with him. Find out who the best and most compassionate neurologist is in your area...it can often take a while to get an appt to see the good people. In the meantime I'd find a good certified elder law attorney who charges by the task, i.e. a flat rate for a consult and they can guide you through the process. I'd guess you don't want to impose on the nephew any more than you have to, so doing this "leg work" prior will probably make things easier.
Assuming you are close with this nephew, would you want to consider moving closer to him?
You have a lot on your plate, but things have a way of working out. And as someone else said, if you have a local office on aging (can you call 211, or your local city hall to find out?) they may be a resource for you.
take good care and let us know how you are doing...

See if there is a local Alzheimer's organization in your area. I am in St. Louis and we have a good one. Contact the local senior center if you have one. Get a Desk! or at least somewhere you can put things. I struggle too, and have to put things in their proper place, or I lose it and my mind. Hope this helps.

Michael from St. Louis

Tell your doctor about balance issues. He/she can arrange for home health care to come out for therapy at your home. My sister and I did this for our mom and it helps so much. You do have to do your exercises every day to keep your balance in working order.

My heart went out to you when I read this. I think it's time for you to have a good conversation with your nephew, and make sure he listens to you. Could you tell him you need him to set aside some time for an important conversation (so you're not hitting him cold on the phone at a time when he might be too busy to really listen)? And then, at the time you agree on, tell him what you told us here. I feel strongly about this, because I was in his position a few years ago -- I was (am still) the PoA for a widowed cousin who has no other family in a position to help her. She tried to tell me she was having memory problems, and I kept trying to reassure her that she was under a lot of stress (newly widowed, trying to sell her house, etc.) so it wasn't the best time to judge whether she had memory problems. Though that was true, she knew -- just knew -- something was going on, and had I taken this more seriously earlier, she could have given me better direction as to what she wanted. By the time I realized something was definitely going on, it was harder to have the conversations I now wish we’d had, because I want to do right by her, and I don’t always know what that is.

Here are some suggestions based on my cousin’s and my experience: 

1) If you're having trouble keeping up with your finances and need your nephew to take over, tell him; otherwise he won't know until it becomes so obvious that there will likely be some complicated messes for him to sort out. (In the case of my cousin, she just stopped paying bills and started hiding them, so some of them went into collection.)

2) Is your nephew’s name already on all of your bank accounts? I know you said it's on your checking account; if you also have a savings account, you may also want to add him to that, as he may have to transfer money on your behalf at some point.

3) Is your Social Security deposited automatically into your account? If not, set that up, because they do not accept PoAs, ever. Your nephew will have to apply to be a "representative payee" to make decisions about your Social Security.

4) Make sure that if you have investment accounts, they recognize your nephew’s power of attorney. We discovered they did not automatically accept PoAs -- there was an application process that required a couple of layers of paperwork. It got complicated at tax time, because I couldn't get hold of her year-end statements until the paperwork cleared.

5) If you’re ready for your nephew to take over your finances, get duplicates of your bills (or the bills themselves, if you don’t want a copy for yourself) forwarded to his address. It’s very little extra work for me every month to write checks for my cousin’s bills, because they come to me and I write the check from her account (which has my name on it, too). 

6) Make sure his name (and PoA and presumably healthcare proxy) are on file with your doctors. And if he is taking over your finances, make sure the medical bills go to him -- a couple of my cousin's doctors didn’t have this information, and by the time I found out there was money owed, they were threatening collection. 

7) Do you expect your nephew to use his own funds to travel to your location to check on you? Or do you want him to reimburse his travel-related expenses from your account? (If so, make sure that’s in writing -- it’ll help if Medicaid becomes necessary.) 

8) Are you wedded to your current location? If not, you might want to consider moving closer to your nephew. I live quite far from my cousin -- I’m in NY and she’s in Fla. -- and it’s too late for her to move, but she feels extremely lonely. If I could do it over, I would have my cousin look at continuing care facilities near me because I would be able to check on her in person more often, and she'd be closer to family, which she often says she wishes she were.

My husbands elderly aunt lived alone and never married or had children so her nephew, my husband, was all she had.  We knew she had some issues and we were paying a neighbor to check in on her, cut the grass and take her to the store, but it wasn't until another person in the town called us and said that she had called him looking for her parents.  Her parents had been gone for 45 years.  We simply could not manage her from far away, so we moved her into an assisted living facility by our home.  She was only there for three months or so before we had to move her again into a secured memory care unit.
Your nephew will need more than financial POA to manage your needs.  You need someone to make medical decisions for you as well and have in writing what your wishes are.  You need to call him and tell him he needs to come see you because you are getting worse and some serious decisions need to be made.  Involve your doctor as well.  It is in your best interest to move closer to him so that he can manage all of this.  It is not easy to manage someone's care and you want to make this doable for him.

We wish you well and I am sorry you don't have more family to rally around you during this difficult time.  Take care.

Do you have a friend nearby who could act as an alternate or contingent POA?
Regarding medical POA, I suggest you discuss your Advance Directives with your doctor. There is a wonderful booklet about planning ahead called 5 Wishes.

Stop with the scraps of paper... record everything in a nice, thick notebook and DON'T tear out the pages... that's your diary of all things important. Date everything as you enter it in the book and keep it in the same location. I've been using this method for 20 years at work (even in my 30s) and there are times when I've had to flip back through several months to find a note or phone number I thought I'd never need again. If you need to take a number with you, then write it on a separate piece of paper.

As others have suggested, keep a bowl or container in sight where you will always keep your keys.

The exercise of saying things aloud is a good one- I do this myself (I'm 56 and forget at least one thing at day, it seems).

As to the memory issues, not sure what to suggest. I've seen ads on TV for memory loss supplements but honestly, taking any kind of drug seems to be rolling the dice (you see an equal number of ads for lawsuits being filed against pharma companies, too.) Maybe time to consider assisted living?

Dial 911. Try calling the police or fire department and cry for help. If you are that vulnerable, the police or fire dept. they may be able to physically get you to a facility. Your situation strikes the core fear of myself and others with no family. I do not think the nephew can or will necessarily step up to the bat, and should not count on it. People... when she says, no family, take it literally. No supports.

I am also 70. Because my Mom has had ALZ for years and I have cared for her, I did not want the same road for me. I joined an ALZ research for 5 years at the nearby hospital which has that department. Each Year they take an MRI and PET scan, blood tests and memory tests. The first time I had the MRI (earlier this year) they saw a white area in the brain which could mark future issues.

Immediately, I began my own research on how to prevent or reverse early ALZ issues. Here is a book which is a MUST for all to read so that you can begin taking self-responsibility on things that regular doctors do not yet put into practice or may not even know about....this is the latest research. I have been on their program, followed their advise now for a year. Cognition is better.

Please read and follow the instructions of Dr. Dale Bredesen's "The End of Alzheimer's - The first program to Prevent and Reverse Cognitive Decline."
Be the most important part of the team which heals you! Don't wait!

From an RN to another RN - you. Seems you have some dementia beginning. Get to your doctor and get onto any meds that might help preserve your executive functions. Ask your nephew to come visit and set up automatic payments for any recurring bills. Let him know that he will need to start handling your finances now or talk to your accountant about handling your financials. Have one of these people set up a reloadable debit card and agree on the amount of money that should be loaded it each month for your incidentals. Start streamlining your home and assigning a "place" for each item. Label and write reminders for yourself to leave in areas you frequent - bathroom mirror, refrigerator, back of doors.

You did not mention the other legal documents: medical POA, DNR, living will, will... Now is the time to get to a lawyer and have those documents.

You may want to think about what is the best plan for you as your abilities diminish - round the clock caregivers in your apartment (my MIL does this option with her dementia and my BIL manages her care from afar), moving into a phased senior complex that moves residents from independent living to assisted living to total care. Move closer to your nephew. Ask your friends to help care for you.

IF your Asst. Living has a social worker, I would consult that person for guidance. Otherwise, I would make an appt. with your doctor and express your concerns and see if what suggestions are made in that regard. Maybe you need to have outside help coming in to assist. Maybe outside help in an outside living situation would be better in the long run. I would include the relative and see what the person could offer. Maybe would be knowledgeable in many ways or knows someone who could offer helpful advice to you.

I feel a bit timid, but feel my case might be of benefit to yourself. I too had the "Clock Test" administrated (which I failed), and as a result of both my issues (long term minor concussions) and a general feeling of "losing it". I came to this group to get information on how I might learn when to "hang up the car keys" before I cause irreparable harm. I don't have that yet, but working on it. Both my grandmother had symptoms of some form of dementia (ca 1942), serious enough to require institutionalization. My mother clearly had dementia, Alzheimer likely. Passed away at age 89.

Many of the suggestions made, I already do, in that I keep daily notes, and start each day with the date and time, and can refer back to. Also, as suggested, anything which seems important (Appointments, results, password changes for computer PC and TV channel pass-codes like Netflix, etc.

During conversations, I "lose" intended words, so my conversation appears stilted, If my wife of 32 years is with me, she'll fill in the empty words for me. Oh yeah, about the clock test, my NPN schedule me for a Ultrasound on my Carotid arteries (both, I presume checking for possible Venal Dementia to the brain. I had a brother who due to falls had the arteries damaged, and eventually lost it all.

I wanted to offer other helps, as suggested, to let you know I do understand (too well) for some of the other productive suggestion, but being in short term memory kinda of got lost. And yes, we have all those other documents in planning. (DNR (not yet) POA, etc.

I am fortunate in that I have several caring family within a few miles, both here and in our vacation home. Our new-to-us home we downsized to, I am glad we made that transition and not leave it to my kids (bio & step).

Sometimes I wonder if that old platitude "don't worry, everyone gets a little forgetful as they get older!). While my mother was hospitalized, I found people on her ward could still have brilliant minds into their 90's and 100's but whose bodies were falling apart, and those with excellent bodies, were playing with 49 card deck or simply no longer knew the difference? Or worse, the light in their attic had already burned out. (my mom was in care from her fall to the EOL, about 8 years). (Maybe out looking for Where The Sidewalk Ends)

I use humor a lot as a coping mechanism for my self.

Sorry if I over-stepped, but in my anxiety to learn, I also felt I could share as a part-time caretaker and also as an impending patient (eventually). :(

Robert

I use TekkieChikk's method as well.  I have 3 ring binder notebooks for everything, having started that years ago, probably arising from the need for instant access to data for large business transactions or lawsuits.  

I have ones for gardening plans, literary research, taxes, medical bills, crafts, tech purchases, phone calls, credit reports, Christmas card lists ....literally everything. 

After my sister died, I set up Trust notebooks with sections on assets (house, cars, financial assets), pet fostering or donation, monetary or asset donations, etc.  

I expanded that when my father died, with all the legal data related to Trust management, contractors, asset disposition options, etc.   Contact lists are included, especially since I'm dealing with more contractors than I have in the past.     And given that I've encountered some real jerks and a few nutcases, I add those notes so I don't accidentally call one of the jerks again.

I LOVE my notebooks!    And to make it easier to deal with challenging subjects, I cut out photos from gardening catalogues, glue them to 8.5 x 11' paper and insert them in the clear plastic fronts.   Then I at least have something lovely to moderate my anxiety when I have to deal with an aspect that I dread, like Trust taxes,

Segregation by category really is a good way to focus on individual aspects and keep notes and stuff separate.    And eventually you can either consolidate or eliminate some of the categories. 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I also want to emphasize ALZ or dementia research, ESPECIALLY contributing factors.   More research is revealing such factors, including sugar consumption.    And sugary foods can bring on mental confusion from a sugar high.

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2018/01/the-startling-link-between-sugar-and-alzheimers/551528/

Work toward a more plant based, organic diet if you can afford to pay more for some of the organic foods.    If not, choose plants that aren't as contaminated and toxic as others:

This is an excellent chart for identifying foods most contaminated by pesticides:

https://www.consumerreports.org/cro/health/natural-health/pesticides/index.htm

You might even work with the community management to see if they'll implement a trip to a Farmer's Market for the residents.    That's a safer way to shop than by transit bus. 

This can actually be exciting if you can view it as a turning point in your life.  

Good luck!

I am wondering how much you have to do for yourself if you have your own apartment. You are seeing a decline in memory and may have some anxiety, which would be understandable, it might be time to look for someone to help you with daily tasks and they could assist you in house keeping and making phone calls, etc. This would ease your mind and is also a safety issue. (I'm imagining you slipping and falling while cleaning the shower, etc.) If you do not already have such a person, perhaps a local college girl could pop in after class a few days a week? Another thing you will have to start considering is living quarters that provides more assistance when you need it. If living closer to your nephew or having a roommate is not an option there will come a time that you will need assistance. Tour some places in your area or talk to friends around your apartment and church to see what is available that would be acceptable to you. Your advantage is that you are aware of your limitations and memory issues and that you have the time and energy and wits about you to seek help and plan for the future. I had situation with both my mother and father where they were hospitalized and unable to return to their living quarters and we very quickly had to find suitable facilities to care for them. Since I, like your nephew live 6 hours away, I had to rush there to arrange care in a very stressful situation.
As far as others not letting on that you are having problems, most of the time they are trying to be kind and they are repeating things to you or helping you without you noticing. I'm sure they have the best of intentions but only you know yourself well enough to judge, so I applaud you for being so aware and for seeking help. I wish you the best of luck.