My dad is 83 and lives with me and my husband. I am so exhausted from having to stay up late or get up before the crack of dawn just to have some alone time. Sometimes I am rude to him because he gets up early right after me and I can't be alone with my coffee and thoughts. I feel so guilty for being "mean" to him. I just miss having some quiet me time. Does anyone else feel like this?
Check with your local senior services group or home health care provider for services your Dad might be eligible for. Is there a day program nearby for him to attend? Many of them provide bus service, depending on the size of your community. Do you have family that might give you a day off or at least a few hours a day each week? How about a weekend off every month?
You must take care of yourself and your own family first! Your emotional and physical health will be affected by caregiving if you don't put yourself first!
Never in my wildest dreams would I had ever thought working outside the home would be a *vacation* :P
He is a sweetheart but had an accident developed some health issues and cannot be left alone any longer . I feel like we are attached at the hip.
It seems sometimes I am selfish with my me time but I cannot help it.
My parents live in the same subdivision and are the oldest. Their next door neighbors on either side are from a far off land, different cultures, different religions, and my parents won't socialize with anyone not of their same culture or religion.... sad, my parents are missing out on so much :(
Many times it's not my vehicle as there is an identical 1996 Jeep the same color as mine, and another 1996 Jeep the same color as my sig other here in our subdivision. I mean, what are the odds of that. So my parents will get them mixed up with our vehicles.
Carving out time for yourself is important and reasonable. You should be able to have time for solitary interests, like reading or drawing or crafts. There has to be balance on the happiness meter - you need time for yourself and he needs to get used to spending time without your attention.
When they take away my mom's SS I'm screwed. I have exactly $131 left over for whatever comes up after paying the rent and the bills. I had to take a large pay cut to get a job after losing one due to The Recession. I did ask my boss for a raise and he said end of year BUT that was before they announced layoffs so I will be lucky to just have a job even if it pays crap.
So I spend all my time with mom at the nursing home or home doing homework on Office 2013 even though that is what I do for a living - it's slim pickings in your first semester, I had forgotten that from real college. I'm poor enough that the JC pays for my classes. Alas, the Federal government does not recognize the huge difference in cost of living in California compared to anywhere else. I was born here, living here is not some stupid wannabe actor choice I made.
I've considered dating which taking care of my mom was a wonderful excuse to avoid the last 10 years but ugh dating a 50 year old man seems so well OLD. I can't see the concept of true love happening in my mid 40s if it did not happen in my mid-20s. I had a shot at marriage but true love it was not.
And no matter how hard I try or how many meds I take, I'm depressed and my mom is depressed. I also didn't really enjoy dating when my choices were 35, I'm just not the "meeting new people type". I guess I'll be looking for a new job in the new year but I'm screwed for now. Oh yes and all my real friends left the state due to The Recession and I have no time to make new ones nor the wherewithal (sp) to do it nor the money to go out with them if I did. Those last two may be related because even though I am not the meet new person type I tend to be good at making friends.
So yes, I relate. I had a lot more "me" time when my mom was living with me. I also went out with my friends and had a fabulous excuse to avoid dating. I haven't been to the nail place in months. I miss the nail place and the salon.
What am I doing at 68, none of the above. I am still working mainly for my own sanity and to have people of other age groups to talk to... yet half of my free time is running here or there, driving my parents to appointments, etc.... and the other half of my free time is trying to catch up with my own household chores, my own groceries, my own doctor appointments.
Gone are the grand plans I had for retirement. All that saving and scrimping for what? Oh well, will all my health issues due to stress, I can get a really nice assistant living facility for myself :P