My dad is 83 and lives with me and my husband. I am so exhausted from having to stay up late or get up before the crack of dawn just to have some alone time. Sometimes I am rude to him because he gets up early right after me and I can't be alone with my coffee and thoughts. I feel so guilty for being "mean" to him. I just miss having some quiet me time. Does anyone else feel like this?
I never tire of this meal because I have different veggies and sometimes I invent different dipping sauces. If you like cheese; make a cheese sauce. Keep it whole and simple and fast. I like a Thai inspired vinegar, water, Sweet Chili sauce combo too.
Another easy meal is cut up roasted root vegetables. Cut up brussel sprouts in halves, slices of beets, sweet potato, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, chunks of cabbage, slices of onion and garlic: toss with a little olive oil and salt it all slightly. Put in oven for about 40-45 minutes on 375. Check it halfway through and give it a stir. Easy peasy and fun to eat. I dumped the leftovers into a simple salad the next day. After that the last bit livened up some leftover turkey soup.
Cooking doesn't have to be hard.
Eating raw as much as possible is so important and so easy.
The other thing I do is to stay up very late while the house is quiet. I get up to a couple of hours that way. I can sleep late when her care-giver prepares breakfast sometimes.
Love O
I checked with my county today and found out that they offer respite care, visiting nurse and meals on wheels. This is something new as I have looked before about a year and a half ago. Check with your county of city. I'm going to look into respite care. Unlike some of you who have no help, I have a great lady who lives with us, but she can't work 24-7. I can only afford 25 hours per week, but she often goes beyond that. We are both needing some respite at this point. Mother has taken quite a downward turn since she turned 103. In fact all of 2014 has been a downhill slide. We love them so much it's hard to watch them wither away. The strong loving parent is reduced to a mentally deficient weakling.
That went on for a few nights before she got up from the couch on her own and said, I'm going to bed now. I nearly dropped! I believe (I don't know this because she's not verbal) she didn't like going to bed without my tucking her in and playing the music on the CD.
In the afternoons, I take a nap. She doesn't like being out here without anyone, so she goes in to take a nap, announcing it for the entire world to hear.
One other chore I don't do is cook elaborate meals. By elaborate, I mean anything over thirty minutes. Every meat I cook is baked for thirty minutes @ 350 in a pan on foil that I can throw away. You can do this for boneless chicken, fish, small pork chops, pretty much anything. I never peel potatoes anymore. It may be more expensive, but there is just the two of us, and the small portion of salt she is going to get out of that serving is minimal. All vegetables are frozen. Desert can be sugar free Jello with Cool Whip for her. I sneak the good stuff later.
My mom is on a very strict diet because of heart/kidney/diabetic issues. Davita has been a great site for me, showing the food she can eat. I've modified my way of cooking them to suit my time limits. Flat breads are good for sandwiches as long as fillings aren't too much for her to chew. Soups are good, and it's where my thirty minute limit isn't practiced. Some pea soups can be made in pressure cooker. I do mine in slow cooker. Again, no huge amount of time spent preparing, and in the slow cooker, no need to constantly watch.
There are so many things that can be dropped off the to do list is you're willing to let them go. My house doesn't always look that great, but hey, it's either me or the house. For now, I'll take me.
My mother has a young woman from the church who comes by every month to check on us. I know she would try to be there if I needed her. I don't know what she could do, because she is a bit dizzy, but it is good to know someone is there to help.
My mother's church has a support group that meets. It is only once a month, though, so I don't know how it could be much help. I don't go, because many of the complaints I have are not very godly. Still, it may be a good group for the right people.
My brother's family, OTOH, are staunch primitive Baptist types, whose daily focus is on serving God. They rarely visit, though they live less than an hour away. My brother calls occasionally. My mother thinks that they feel we are going to hell. I feel that their lives are busy with their church family and caring about her would be inconvenient -- no fun at all. They are probably glad that I have it covered here. Yes, it feels ugly. If they were the only examples I had of Christians, it would paint a bad picture indeed.
People are just people, no matter how they paint themselves. Some people give too much, others take too much. Still others just pull into themselves and hiss at the outside world.
The trip is up in the air as i am spending another night in the hospital with my mom. So i might have jinxed it. Lol.
we all have different levels of care giving my mom...if she has someone at home to help her and make sure she takes her meds she will be OK
We are looking into a rehab facility for her so she can get the help that she needs in terms of building back strength in her arms and legs as well as treat her asthma.
I know i am lucky to get me time in the form of a trip...i know. And I do hope.i havent jinxed it.
Loki2013 Movies??? they still have those. It's been 5 years since my hubby and I went to a movie. Oj1977, trips??? what are those??? I'm lucky to get to go to the grocery store for an hour. Work is my time that I have to myself. I relish driving in the car for 30 minutes each way and often turn off the phone while in transit.
Yes Freqflyer and Heart to Heart, we do need to get it out. This is our forum. I appreciate the support and information that I get here.
I have a live-in caregiver who gives me 25 hours a week so I can work + a great yardman who both will watch her anytime, but the trouble is that things are so intense right now, it's taking all of us. At least I have been able to sleep at night the past week. I hope that I don't jinx the good luck by talking about it.
Thank goodness for this forum :)
I also know I feel better when I vacuum the rugs, but it stresses out the cats.... so it's not a win-win situation.... [sigh].
I am however looking forward to a 9 day holiday where i have one of my sisters and a friend of my mom who will stay with her. Its is going to be my ultimate me time of shopping, beach, spa treatments and everything in between. I do believe that its going to help me be a better carer for my mom....who is in the last few weeks improved in some areas.
I urge everyone if you have someone to help you and that can take over for a few days, take it, have some me time. ...it needn't be a holiday away but maybe a day at a spa or a weekend away depending. Do it. You will be a better carer if you care for yourself.