He is much older than I am. He has been diagnose a few years ago with paranoia and other personality disorder.
He is very depressed and will not tell his doctor about his issues.
When I do, I am treated like a crazy person because he puts on such a great cover.
I have no help from his children.
He has isolated himself. No longer goes to Church because "people talk about him", "wish him ill". etc.
I have tried to be patient and calm, but it is taking a toll on my life and health.
I work swing shift and I am home most all day with him.
He is turning 82 in November. He still drives but he should not, he does respond well in traffic. When I go to work and gets to the kitchen to cook (crock pot) which most of the time I don't mind except when he uses the stove and fry food or leave it on.
There is so much.
He is very aggressive and disrespectful to me.
I need help for him and myself and I don't know what can be done about it, if anything.
You're right. YOU need help. Please find an attorney who specializes in elder law. Find out your rights. You are only months away from having to turn his care over to others . . . IF you want a life. AND YOU DESERVE ONE!
I was a second wife. He had two children. We were married 26 years. When their father was dying, they were pretty much absent. I called them both when he passed. He hadn't seen them in weeks and weeks. Too bad about your husband"s kids, but it's not particularly unusual.
My friend,knowledge is power. Go see an attorney specialist. Get your ducks in a row. Keep hammering at the docs and ask them for anxiety meds for your hubby. Can't hurt. Might help.
I wish you well. Stay strong.
My husband was nineteen years older than I. It was a second marriage for both and we had a very successful blended family. We'd been married nearly 30 years when he was diagnosed with dementia. The hardest part for me, hands down, was the paranoia. For him it was a passing phase, along with belligerence, delusions, and depression. He was very willing to seek treatment for the dementia, and that, along with passing time, resulted in great improvement. I honestly don't know if/how I could have lived with those early stage symptoms indefinitely. And I had the support of his children and mine. That your husband will not accept treatment makes my heart ache for you.
A member of my family married a man with serious mental health issues (which became more evident only after they married.) He was delusional and unable to hold a job. They had children. She stayed married to him for a long time. After the children were grown she divorced him ... and also became his guardian. She loved this man. She knew he could not function on his own in the real world. But she now wanted a life of her own, not tied to his.
Mental illness of any kind is sooooo hard on the people who have it and the people who love them. Hugs to you, dear lady.
Your husband needs more help from the medical field. You, I think, need some legal advice. What are your options for seeing that this man you have loved gets good care while also protecting yourself?
Please come back and let us know what is going on for you. We care!
Thinking of you and hoping your life improves.