She has Lupus, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis and recurring bouts of a A fib. She spent a week n the hospital with Afib and 3 weeks in skilled nursing. I have bouts of feeling afraid of losing her and then resent having to be her care taker and losing my freedom, I’m a very active healthy 82 and realize I’m on limited time myself and feel guilty for feeling resentment. Her short term memory is also in rapid decline.
It's something to consider if things get to be too much for you.
All the best
Yes it is expensive and it took a while for me to decide “I” was worth it but I am now happier for myself and I don’t resent my husband for getting sick. He will not get better, but I can now face the future knowing that there is life to live. Maybe not the way it was but still worth living.
See that what you feel is normal, that there is bound to be some ambivalence about the situation, that you are only human, that you have needs, that it's ok for you to want to live your life and do the things you enjoy.
Yes, you will feel devastated and adrift for a while if she dies before you do, but most of her ailments do not sound immediately terminal.
Feeling guilty is normal. Even when I did get out I worried, a lot. Near the end I was so worn out and starting to feel the pain of lifting her and started to think about putting her in a home. Unfortunately she took a turn for the worst and passed shortly after that. I still feel like I did not do enough for her.
As others have said here, even if you put her into a home of any sort, you can visit her as often as you feel there is a need or desire.
When she was in the hospital and rehab I was there every day and helped the staff with her needs.
I was then able to go home, late in the day or night and get some reasonable sleep so I could it all over the next day.
I think you should look for a day care to free you up for a little R&R.
Oh, I forgot, I just turned 72 and starting to get out in public again. Still no real friends though.
I really am sorry that you are in this terrible situation. It is a tough spot to find yourself in.
Live your life and take care of yourself. Every thing you are feeling is normal!
Others will show up with better advice.
Give yourself permission to experience these feelings, and own them. Don't feel guilty for them. Taking time for your own mental wellness and even physical wellness will help reduce feelings of guilt.
If your wife has encouraged you to take care of yourself, you will be a blessing to her if you show her you are.
Praying for peace for you and strength as you care for your loved one.