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I live at home with my grandmother and father and my little 4 yr old daughter. So my aunt has called "elderly abuse" on me and my uncle. We have been living in her home for about 4 years now. We have helped her in any way she has ever needed or wanted. My aunt started to take over helping her pay bills. Well she logged in her online banking and sees a lot of charges from our closest liquor store to our home. This is where we take money out and or buy sodas, candy, etc so yes there were charges everyday because my grandma had sent either myself or my uncle to grab fast food. So because her Visa chip on her card was broken and the ATM couldn't read it we would have to buy a candy or soda and then get like 25, 30, 40 cash back then go buy dinner at fast food places. So my aunt is saying we did this illegally. This just is not true at all. Anytime I used her card I had permission and actually was asked to go by my grandmother. So can I actually get in trouble for her accusations? PLEASE PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND. CAN MY AUNT SAY THAT WE DID THIS ILLEGALLY? WE DIDN'T AT ALL. I WOULDN'T EVER DO THAT TO MY GMA, SHE RAISED ME. I LOVE THIS WOMAN DEARLY.

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Girlred, to answer your question if you will get in trouble for the store purchases, no, I don't think you will. But it sounds like grandma's finances are overly complicated and maybe the person in charge of them (aunt?) needs to figure out a way for grandma to have money for the things she needs. More transparency all the way round. At the very least the ATM card needs to work, or she needs to have access to food paid for by her own money without the liquor store situation.

I think if grandma is happy and well-cared for in the home that no authorities will be interested in doing anything to you. This is just about making sure elders living in the community aren't being taken advantage of.
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That's horrible that your aunt did that. Maybe she has good intentions, thinking she is protecting her mother, but at the expense of the rest of you. Does she expect that grandma will not pay any money for her own food, etc.?

I guess anyone can accuse anyone else of anything and make the accused's life a living hell in the process.

Maybe your aunt is worried that there won't be any of her mom's money leftover for her at some point, thinking it's all being spent on your household? People get weird and defensive, etc about money sometimes.

Has your dad been able to talk to his sister about her accusations? Is grandma lucid enough to defend her choices to have you use her card to buy her things?

I hope that this passes quickly and does not get any uglier.
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Is your aunt the Power of Attorney for your grandmother? If so she is responsible for ethical management of her funds and needs an accounting of where every penny went. This includes anyone who has "permission" to spend her money.

Maybe your aunt is not PoA but since she saw the unusual charges she has to find out what's going on since financial elder abuse often happens within families. You will need to be understanding of this and from now on work out a better way (with your aunt) on how to make those kinds of purchases in a way that are trackable.

Maybe your gramma "gave you permission" because she really has no idea how much money she has in the bank because your aunt takes care of it for her? And maybe she has less money than she thinks and is in danger of running out? Whatever your aunt asks you to do, you will need to do it in order to preserve family harmony and your gramma's limited resources.
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