Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I wouldn't be calling to speak to nurses on the floor.
I would contact the Social Worker and ask for a Care Meeting which should include the Director of Nursing, the therapy team and nutrition.
Get a list of the meds mom is being prescribed and check it for accuracy. Check especially for meds listed as "prn" (patient request) as opposed to scheduled. Because when my mom was "asked" if she was in pain, she'd say no and then be in pain (and weep to us).
If words are used you don't understand, ASK!
Is your plan for mom to remain there at an LTC patient after rehab?
Be aware that if she is difficult and refuses rehab therapy sessions, Medicare will stop paying and she will be discharged. So have your next steps planned.
I finally gave up on getting reliable and timely information so I got mom a caregiver(s). This is a person who comes in the minimum hours (4 hours) and followed the list of duties I had for her. Mom had companionship, lotions applied, her skin massaged to help prevent pressure sores and warm compresses on her eyes (she has dry eyes). Bed baths or showers if needed. She also got 2 meals because it is hard for mom to eat and she responds well to finger food to eat or being fed. The caregiver would text me daily at how she was and sometimes we would FaceTime if mom was up to it. It was a blessing to have this peace of mind for me and better care for mom. She has bonded with the caregiver (I have 2 so I can have 7 day coverage). The ladies know each other and schedule coverage with each other if needed.
Trying to prevent an adversarial relationship is crucial. So donuts and flowers. What can I say. A box of candy. Then just grovel. I mean, you have a need to get met here, and that is information. Don't let your pride stand in your way of getting it. Start out by saying "I understand how busy you are, and I just don't know how I can get a few minutes of your time, or when best to try. I would love an update about how Mom is doing. I am so concerned about her". The other thing is to stay a day and judge for yourself the care she is getting and how she is responding to it. Sure do wish you the best of luck.
try calling the physical therapy dept. and ask for a progress report. Maybe you can accompany her to one of the sessions? Nurses give out the meds...if you want to know if she took her meds. CNAs clean and shower her, feed her. If you want to know how much she ate, if she had shower, hair washed, ask them. You may not get answer right away, since everyone is short staffed and short tempered these days. I never really got an answer when I asked I don't know how many different people if my mother got a shower. They said the morning crew gives it...morning crew said night crew gives it....I asked, "Well, can you look in the computer...maybe it is there?" I was called a troublemaker! I didn't think it was a hard question....Hugs.
I just went through this..I gave up and went to the nursing director. Our rehab was using agency nurses…so tough to get a whole picture of my moms condition. I found the therapy gals better at communicating with me. ALWAYS use email ….you need a paper trail!!!! Then I started chasing upper nursing staff..such as director, manager etc. so important to be nice…after 27 yrs working these places I know how family gets a bad rap behind closed door meetings..go easy but push forward..keep emotion out of it.
I had better luck getting information from the case managers at the hospital where my mom was. The nurses were completely run off their feet, but of course, this was right in the middle of the worst of Covid and everyone was calling for information because no one was allowed to visit in the hospital.
Still, try calling the hospital and asking for the Case Managers' office. See what that gets you. If you're actually able to visit (and are the person who is authorized to get information about your mom), reserve your questions for once a day if possible and don't do it within an hour on either side of a shift change.
My husband can't talk due to a stroke. I MUST be there all day, every day to get any information and to "translate" because he can't tell them anything or even ask for a glass of water. I come early, stay till bedtime and then I know everything that's going on and what's happening. And I can make friends with some of the caretakers & nurses and get a good rapport with them so I know what kind of care he's getting.
How about installing a couple of baby cams to give you a respite from unpaid caretaking? Also, please make an appointment with a Geriatric Psychiatrist who can help you through this lonely and all-consuming journey.
As suggested, speak to a supervisor, social worker, director of the facility. Do this in person. Certainly ask for a copy of their medical chart / report. Find out how they can email it to you or get it to you as it is updated. This isn't the same as talking to someone although it will help you have more information on a regular basis.
I had to advocate daily ... weekly ... monthly. These staff people are over-worked and have a lot to do / contend with. And, you need to get the information you are entitled to.
Have your questions written down (to discuss with social worker, etc., director of facility or department). Give them a written copy, with your email / contact information. Clearly specific 1, 2, 3 what you want. Ask them to put a copy of your request in their records / in his or her chart.
I would plan on a long visit. Plan to stay the entire day with her, lots of days in a row, including a weekend or two.
While you are there and in her room, you can hear what they are asking her. You can watch her PT and OT, you can see if people are really coming in and doing their job. I found PT to be the most enlightening as it showed what they are trying to do. Also, you will be able to talk to the nurses one-on-one and understand what is going on.
My Mom had a compound fracture and had 2 screws put into her femur. At the first rehab, I was very involved, encouraging my mother to walk, watching what they were doing (and what others were doing). By the end of 11 days, she could walk (with pain) 500 steps. Unfortunately, they couldn't address the pain totally, so my Mom didn't improve as much as I had hoped. I had to leave town for awhile so she went to a second rehab. At the second rehab, they didn't push my Mom enough, ignored her pain, etc. When I got back, she was a zombie. Medicare ceased to pay because she was no longer improving. What really got to me was the PT verbally said that she walks well for her age (she wasn't walking at the time...she had regressed under the 2nd rehab's care).
When I saw the Medicare report, it said that she was improved as well as she could given her age and that she had a heart attack (um, no heart attack that I know of). It did not say in the Medicare report that the PT guy didn't expect her to walk at her age so therefore, he made no attempt to increase muscle tone toward walking. The report also did not say that they made no attempt to address her pain which was in her back, not at the site of the compound fracture.
So, medical reports are nice and sanitized. They may not be willing to talk to you on the phone either. Therefore, I would go visit and plan on staying there consecutive days. At both rehab hospitals, the weekend schedule was significantly different than the weekday schedule, hence, I would plan on being there during the work week also.
It isn't about what they say....many times, it is about what they don't say, and you don't know that until you are there in person.
P.S. The pain that was preventing my Mom from walking was from arthritis. Once we got that under control, my Mom was walking with her walker, independently, within 3 months. She was 97 years old at the time.
Your profile states you live far away, but you should try to make a personal visit. I was a son taking care of my mom. When she had hip surgery, she was sent to a local NH for rehab. The head social worker, along with other staff, met with mom and I, laying out a "care plan" that would be followed during mom's stay. Since we lived down the street from the facility, I would make twice a day visits at different times to monitor her progress. One day, I came in to find her still in bed during the time when she was supposed to be seen by PT staff. I went directly to the social worker to express my displeasure that the "care plan" was not being followed. I ended up attending the PT sessions with mom so I would know what to do when she came home. When there was a question regarding medication, I spoke to the nursing supervisor. I identified CNA's who I felt treated mom well, and I always thanked them.
I was acutely aware that staff could take out frustration on mom because of my questioning her care, so I was as very diplomatic when I confronted staff. At one point, a family member of another patient asked me for advice on how to address a situation as she noticed I had been proactive with staff. Even if you are unable to visit personally, at least request a video conference as suggested by another responder, and have a list of prepared questions. This is your mom. They owe you answers.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I would contact the Social Worker and ask for a Care Meeting which should include the Director of Nursing, the therapy team and nutrition.
Get a list of the meds mom is being prescribed and check it for accuracy. Check especially for meds listed as "prn" (patient request) as opposed to scheduled. Because when my mom was "asked" if she was in pain, she'd say no and then be in pain (and weep to us).
If words are used you don't understand, ASK!
Is your plan for mom to remain there at an LTC patient after rehab?
Be aware that if she is difficult and refuses rehab therapy sessions, Medicare will stop paying and she will be discharged. So have your next steps planned.
The other thing is to stay a day and judge for yourself the care she is getting and how she is responding to it.
Sure do wish you the best of luck.
so true
Still, try calling the hospital and asking for the Case Managers' office. See what that gets you. If you're actually able to visit (and are the person who is authorized to get information about your mom), reserve your questions for once a day if possible and don't do it within an hour on either side of a shift change.
Do this in person. Certainly ask for a copy of their medical chart / report.
Find out how they can email it to you or get it to you as it is updated.
This isn't the same as talking to someone although it will help you have more information on a regular basis.
I had to advocate daily ... weekly ... monthly.
These staff people are over-worked and have a lot to do / contend with. And, you need to get the information you are entitled to.
Have your questions written down (to discuss with social worker, etc., director of facility or department). Give them a written copy, with your email / contact information. Clearly specific 1, 2, 3 what you want. Ask them to put a copy of your request in their records / in his or her chart.
Gena / Touch Matters
While you are there and in her room, you can hear what they are asking her. You can watch her PT and OT, you can see if people are really coming in and doing their job. I found PT to be the most enlightening as it showed what they are trying to do. Also, you will be able to talk to the nurses one-on-one and understand what is going on.
My Mom had a compound fracture and had 2 screws put into her femur. At the first rehab, I was very involved, encouraging my mother to walk, watching what they were doing (and what others were doing). By the end of 11 days, she could walk (with pain) 500 steps. Unfortunately, they couldn't address the pain totally, so my Mom didn't improve as much as I had hoped. I had to leave town for awhile so she went to a second rehab. At the second rehab, they didn't push my Mom enough, ignored her pain, etc. When I got back, she was a zombie. Medicare ceased to pay because she was no longer improving. What really got to me was the PT verbally said that she walks well for her age (she wasn't walking at the time...she had regressed under the 2nd rehab's care).
When I saw the Medicare report, it said that she was improved as well as she could given her age and that she had a heart attack (um, no heart attack that I know of). It did not say in the Medicare report that the PT guy didn't expect her to walk at her age so therefore, he made no attempt to increase muscle tone toward walking. The report also did not say that they made no attempt to address her pain which was in her back, not at the site of the compound fracture.
So, medical reports are nice and sanitized. They may not be willing to talk to you on the phone either. Therefore, I would go visit and plan on staying there consecutive days. At both rehab hospitals, the weekend schedule was significantly different than the weekday schedule, hence, I would plan on being there during the work week also.
It isn't about what they say....many times, it is about what they don't say, and you don't know that until you are there in person.
P.S. The pain that was preventing my Mom from walking was from arthritis. Once we got that under control, my Mom was walking with her walker, independently, within 3 months. She was 97 years old at the time.
I was acutely aware that staff could take out frustration on mom because of my questioning her care, so I was as very diplomatic when I confronted staff. At one point, a family member of another patient asked me for advice on how to address a situation as she noticed I had been proactive with staff. Even if you are unable to visit personally, at least request a video conference as suggested by another responder, and have a list of prepared questions. This is your mom. They owe you answers.
See All Answers