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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
You can't is the short answer. If your Mother is competent she is in charge of her own decisions. If she is incompetent she either has or does not have someone with POA to make decisions and handle her affairs; if one is not already appointed by her when she was mentally capable it is too late to do so now. If your mother is incompetent and has made no advance directives and DPOA then you can apply to be her conservator and can place her. This would involve going to an elder law attorney. Often if a Social Worker is involved in care of your mother they can expedite a temporary guardianship by a call to the Judge; much of this depend upon the state you are in. More information would help us give you a more directed response; sure do wish you the best of luck. You might consult with those in "the right place" to ask for their direction as you begin to attempt to help your Mom.
A little more background might be helpful, lije why you need to move mom.
Often, us "kids"--seniors ourselves--have our own health and finances to look after and get burnt out trying to prop up a parents who thinks they are independent.
You can't force mom to move unless you are her guardian.
You CAN make it sound attractive, give her a choice of two or more places, take her for a 2 week trial run, get her doctor to talk to her. In all lijelihood, she's just scared of change.
If there is no dementia going on, you can say "Mom, I can't do this anymore" and if that doesn't elicit cooperation, step away and wait for the next fall or illness that puts her in the hospital.
You can lie to her. Say it’s you. Say it’s her. Doesn’t matter. If it’s in her best interest and doesn’t harm others then it’s the right thing to do.
You can go the legal route. Guardianship in the courts. That’s not quick. Power of attorney if someone has that already. (If she has memory issues then it may be too late for her to sign a POA.)
There’s less ethical routes. Sit back and do nothing until she harms herself or puts herself in harms way. Then call Adult Protective Services. Or let her bills go unpaid.
Remember, we all have the right to make our own choices even if those choices are bad… which is the legal mantra everyone will tell you. Keep trying to overcome it.
This link will take you to Tarrant Co Area Agency on Aging. You can contact them for a case worker to give your mom a needs assessment.
She is no doubt determined to die right where she is and would rather do that tomorrow than spend one night in an assisted living. She has every right to do that. You also have rights for what you choose to do. Just not over her.
Why does she need to go to an AL immediately? Are you the caregiver and cannot do it anymore, which is OK? Has she declined so much that the Dr. said she needs 24/7 care and can no longer be alone?
If she is 98 then you are probably in your 70s. I know at72, I do not have the energy it takes to care for anyone. And then if you have health problems of your own...
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
More information would help us give you a more directed response; sure do wish you the best of luck. You might consult with those in "the right place" to ask for their direction as you begin to attempt to help your Mom.
A little more background might be helpful, lije why you need to move mom.
Often, us "kids"--seniors ourselves--have our own health and finances to look after and get burnt out trying to prop up a parents who thinks they are independent.
You can't force mom to move unless you are her guardian.
You CAN make it sound attractive, give her a choice of two or more places, take her for a 2 week trial run, get her doctor to talk to her. In all lijelihood, she's just scared of change.
If there is no dementia going on, you can say "Mom, I can't do this anymore" and if that doesn't elicit cooperation, step away and wait for the next fall or illness that puts her in the hospital.
You can lie to her. Say it’s you. Say it’s her. Doesn’t matter. If it’s in her best interest and doesn’t harm others then it’s the right thing to do.
You can go the legal route. Guardianship in the courts. That’s not quick. Power of attorney if someone has that already. (If she has memory issues then it may be too late for her to sign a POA.)
There’s less ethical routes. Sit back and do nothing until she harms herself or puts herself in harms way. Then call Adult Protective Services. Or let her bills go unpaid.
Remember, we all have the right to make our own choices even if those choices are bad… which is the legal mantra everyone will tell you. Keep trying to overcome it.
This link will take you to Tarrant Co Area Agency on Aging.
You can contact them for a case worker to give your mom a needs assessment.
She is no doubt determined to die right where she is and would rather do that tomorrow than spend one night in an assisted living. She has every right to do that. You also have rights for what you choose to do. Just not over her.
If she is 98 then you are probably in your 70s. I know at72, I do not have the energy it takes to care for anyone. And then if you have health problems of your own...