I want him out , they are giving ativan morphine around the clock, he has no pain ,but they give it
He is either totally drugged and can't speak correctly or sleeping, he has now missed 2 meals and is obviously not drinking , I have him being transferred to skilled nursing facility , for rehab as he's been bed bound for 11 days, no one got him out of bed at the hospital. He can't get transferred for 4 days , I requested the hospice facility STOP giving morphine ativan , but they said the dr here won't revoke the order !!!! What can I do ???
In hospice, a person is not expected to get up and exercise, walk around, engage in long meaningful conversations or even eat or drink.. that can actually be painful.
I'd much rather have seen my dad serene and calm as opposed to sobbing in pain through his last few weeks on earth.
If you are dad's POA, then this should not have happened. Is someone else a POA also? My mother has 2. I don't look forward to the day these two butt heads.
Take deep breaths and look after yourself. I hope you get better answers today. Please keep in touch.
Im sorry this is still happening. But it does sound like you’ve made some progress by way of getting your dad transferred to a rehab.
In the mean time - kick up a fuss and keep fussing until you speak to the doctor. As well - fuss until you speak to the head administrator at the hospice. Neither the hospice nor the doctor can force treatment by way of the morphine/Ativan if you have the authority as POA to ask for it to be stopped.
You seem to be knowledgeable regarding the tests and procedures- and their results as they apply to your fathers current condition. So, I’ll assume you are sure your father isn’t in pain or distress. If you’re positive that discontinuing these comfort meds is the right choice - then follow your gut. I think sometimes doctors get use to giving orders and don’t respond well when they’re questioned. But as your fathers POA - that’s your responsibility - asking questions, challenging orders that seem wrong to you - looking after your father and ensuring he is getting the appropriate level of care.
However...
Just be a sure as you possibly can be that your taking this in the direction that is what your father would want - not necessarily what you want and hope for - for him, yourself. Know what I mean? Just because your father is not “actively” dying - which is a specific process with specific symptoms- well, that doesn’t mean he’s not in pain or distressed.
Just be sure, okay? I would think the last thing you’d want is for your father to suffer. I can tell from your posts that you love him very much.
Last thing - I’d call the head of the rehab that your father is transferring to on Friday to give them a heads up that your father may arrive medicated. They might have a great deal of concern if he shows up totally out of it. Ask that he be given a couple of days to clear the morphine/Ativan from his system so they - and you - can get an accurate picture as to his current condition and level of needs.
I truely hope you can get this sorted out. Like I said - it’s obvious how
much your father means to you. I loved my dad so much and miss him every day - so I can understand where you’re coming from - wanting to have him with you - both mentally and physically for as long as possible. But sometimes the hard decisions are the best ones. So just be sure, okay?
I need peace .... praying for it
Getting on my flight tomorrow is going to be brutal, I called the rehab and begged them to get him outta here ... soon
The hospice told me he can't do rehab , i know that i just want him outta here ! On top if all else now his right hand and arm has swelled up , no idea why ...hospice says it's his disease ...this is becoming damn near unbearable
I understand that it might feel to you that everything has happened so fast it can't possibly be just the disease doing this to him, but though I hate to say it - and obviously I don't know about your father himself - actually yes it could.
It makes my heart sink that yet again bad communication on the medics' side is doing this to a family, but that is what it sounds like. Has anyone talked to you helpfully yet?
I lost my father seven years ago this
July. I can hardly believe it’s been that long as I still think about him nearly every day.
You must be feeling torn up and raw. Especially after your recent fight to see that your father was cared for properly. Know that with time that feeling morphs into something that becomes easier to live with.
Please try to find comfort in the love you and your father shared.
I tend to quote movies - movies were my escape from a rough childhood and still my break from life’s challenges. Anyhoo...
One of my favorites. It’s from the movie Ghost:
"It’s amazing, Molly. The love inside - you take it with you".
~ Sam Wheat, Ghost
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