The girl at the front desk said the Doctor can’t speak with you as it’s unethical. I said does he know my father has dementia and I am his power of attorney? I thought we both filled out the proper paperwork while we were in his office. She said I can leave a message for him. I said it would be too long. I was hoping to work with him in my father's care, if he won’t even speak with me and I can’t bring up any issues in the room or my father will get angry and cause problems for days, what am I supposed to do? Does he not have to speak with me?
POAs can read two ways "immediate" meaning it starts at the time the principle signs it or "springing" meaning when the principle can no longer make informed decisions. In this case, there maybe something that says that for the POA to be in effect there needs to letters from one or two doctors stating the principles incompetence.
I would first read your POA. If you find its all in order, call the office and ask if the POA is on file. If you are told yes, then the POA should be enough for you to talk to the doctor. Your father is not capable of signing HIPPA paperwork to give u permission. Thats what the POA is for, that is if it covers Medical too. Sometimes people get financial but not medical. No medical POA then the doctor doesn't have to talk to you. But, he probably would as the Caregiver.
I had Moms POA filed with her PCP and the hospital she usually was transported to. I never had problems with staff not talking to me.
Now if Dad is still able to make his own decisions, your POA is not in effect. For now I would do as suggested. Write it all down and email it to the doctor. I don't get involved with Portals? (Not sure of the name) But if the doctor offers that then if not signed up maybe sign up.
I would say that the receptionist is misinformed. If your Dad's Dementia has progressed to where it has been proven he can no longer make informed decisions and your POA is now in effect then the Doctor should except you as Dads representative. I worked for Nurses and was made aware of what I could say and what I couldn't.
For heaven's sake. Find out who's in charge of the office and tell them they need to explain to said GATFD what health care proxies and medical powers of attorney are.
And next time don't get annoyed with an office minion who hasn't encountered these complex medico legal matters before and isn't familiar with the mechanisms. She'll learn.
At dad's next visit, ask for dad to be given HIPAA paperwork to sign so that the doctor can speak to you about your dad's health issues.
A POA doesn't unilaterally give that person power over another person's affairs. It gives it to them when that person is incapacitated or otherwise unable to handle their own decisions. Has your dad been given a diagnosis of dementia and been determined he is unable to make his own medical decisions? Until that happens, your POA is useless unless Dad says you can take charge.
Ask the doctor to evaluate Dad for cognitive issues. That should be the first step.
If the legal paperwork isn’t done, then legally he isn’t allowed to speak to you due to HIPPA.