If my dad always paid my sisters electric bill and I am now his POA , do I need to keep paying it?

It would be nice if we heard from the OP.

How much is that electric bill? Mine runs from $60 in the winter to $200 in the Summer but I have gas. I can see what Brnt is saying, Dad paid it before so no problem in paying now. But I feel, once Dad is placed in care, AL, MC or LTC, he is in Medicaid spend down unless he has enough money for a lifetime of care. At that point all his money is spent on him.

So, if Dad is being cared for in his home, then pay sister's bill but inform her this will stop if he is ever placed in care or he ends up on Medicaid. His SS and any pension will go to offset his care when on Medicaid. He will have no assets. Make sure she understands this and that you will not be helping her. That she needs to find ways to get her electric paid. Social Services can help. Tell her definitely when Dad dies the payment stops.

No, you do not have to pay your sister's electricity bill. You do have an obligation to use his money wisely for his care.

However, if you are still on good terms with your sister, I would not cut her off cold turkey. I would sit her down and point out that you have an obligation to use his money for his care and only his care....and arrange to "wean" her off your Dad's money. If her family is below poverty level, help her get government assistance. Maybe you can even help her apply for some assistance.

During this time, I'd be documenting everything that you are using your Dad's money for and make sure you are not dipping into your Dad's fortune for your own personal gain.

So let me give you a real life scenario. And you can do with it what you will. For YEARS my FIL (and before her death my MIL) has been financially supporting my SIL and her DH. Honestly we didn't even understand the true extent until very recently. When it got really bad they lost their home and ended up moving in with FIL. And after a period of time, he began to need care and by virtue of living WITH him - they became default caregivers (it has often been described the other way around since then).

Last year, things devolved and he had to go into residential care - home care just became impossible physically. But HE continued to allow them to spend his money. POA was NOT invoked.

My DH, who was the named POA, but again, NOT invoked, strongly urged all parties to fix the situation - but he had NO power to do anything at the time except voice his very urgent concerns. Because we KNEW what was going to happen. They ALL had their heads stuck in the sand.

FIL recently passed away. VERY recently. DH is also the executor of the will. While they are still in his home for the short term (very short term until we can get things in motion with his bank account, paying off his creditors, closing his estate, selling the house etc) they know they only have a very short window to figure things out. They had ZERO plans in all of this time. I don't know why they didn't have any back up or plans - they have just been waiting for the inheritance. Which will be the last thing issued from the estate. Which could take several months.

In the interim - ALL access to my FIL's money had to be taken away. Because HE is no longer here to grant permission to use it and his estate is in flux until the estate account is established and even then it would not be doling out dollars to them until everything else is closed.

Instead of planning for the future - proactively - they have had the "agreement" with my FIL for YEARS and have fully depended on him to pay their bills. Now that source is gone - and it wasn't unexpected, but it was fast from their perspective because they somehow thought they would have access or time AFTER he passed away? I don't know.

Why do I say all of that?

What is your sister's plan when you father passes away? I can tell you - she will turn to you to expect you to pay her electric bill. She likely has no plan to pay it herself. The guilt trips will start. What am I going to do? How am I supposed to pay my bills? You are going to let your SISTER live without electricity?

I don't mean to be cruel. I'm just living the other side of this right now and I know what happens when the original provider passes away and it's not pretty. Relationships can fall apart over money.

My advice. Stop this now before it gets worse. Medicaid issues most definitely can be a major problem. But even if they don't become an issue, there are even worse problems that can crop up that can root even deeper and cause further reaching implications.

There is an issue if your sister is still depending on him to pay her electric bill regularly.

We are having to get a lawyer involved to ensure that DH handles the executor role properly, something my DH never in a million years thought would be needed.

I don't know how much your sisters electric bill is, but if it is let's say...$500 per month and there is even a remote chance that your dad will need to go into a nursing home or long term care facility of any kind and he doesn't have millions in the bank to pay for it out of pocket, I would tell your sister she needs to pay her own bills. Medicaid will do a five year look back with your dads expenses and may refuse to pay the sum that he gave to her. Five years of a $500 per month electric bill totals $30,000. Medicaid could then refuse to pay the first $30,000 of his nursing home bill.

I know it seems crazy to think that you can't do what you want with your own money, but when you look to the government to start supporting you, they want to know where your own money went and penalize you accordingly.

Your dad may never need to apply for Medicaid, but you have to think about these things. It sounds like your sister is having her own issues with supporting herself. She will need to work on another solution. Once dad is gone, she will have to anyways...she may as well start now.

I believe it is up to you (as) you handle the money now.
As suggested, I would contact an attorney...
Not for an electric bill, but because you need to know what your rights and responsibilities are as your dad's POA.

And, read the POA carefully. You need to understand any document that you sign although by how you worded this, I am unclear of you are already the POA. In any case, be cognizant of what your responsibilities and legal obligations are.

You might also want to talk to you sister and ascertain whether or not she has the financial means to pay her own electric bill. I would questions if she can pay rent, perhaps has a car and other financial responsibilities, why couldn't she also pay her own electric bill.

Your sister's reasoning seems very light or lacks substance. Something doesn't sound right in how this was left 'an agreement,' thats it? I would question, if you dad paid this bill before he acquired dementia, why didn't or wouldn't he be paying other bills of hers? I'd ask to see all her housing expenses 'for as long as he was paying her electric bill' if you feel it necessary. He might have. been paying for a lot more due to their 'agreement.'

The other question could be: Why don't you want to pay your sister's electric bill? There is more to this story. Something feels out of kilter here / sounds fishy although we are not getting the full story here. We can only surmise.

Gena / Touch Matters

Pay it. Things don't need to get ugly now, you have other things on your plate. Make life as simple as possible, set up a direct debit and forget about it.

I think a consult with a lawyer would help. I can see both sides of the story but not sure how this would all work out if Medicaid is ever needed. It may be a small amt that will be looked over. But, Sister will at sometime need to pay her own bills. She needs to now look into getting help. Or, your going to find her coming after u to pay her bills. Dear Dad did her no favor.

Do you understand how POA works? You (the POA) is supposed to handle the person's financial matters as they did before the became incapacitated or got dementia.

Has your father's financial situation changed? Is he no longer able to afford to continue paying his daughter's electric bill?

If the answer to the two above questions is 'No' then keep paying it. Really, it is not for you to decide to stop paying if it's what your father wants and he can afford to do it. Ask your father what he wants. Just because someone has POA for another person does not mean that the person they have it for no longer gets a say on anything. They're supposed to.

If his financial situation changed for some reason like a Medicaid spend-down had to be done, or he got placed in care and was doing cash pay, then that would be different.

Your post sounds to me like you want to be spiteful to your sister by not paying a bill that your father always paid for her.
You know she could get spiteful right back and if she has proof of their agreement she could report you to the probate court for abusing your POA status.

If your father cannot afford to pay this bill anymore explain that to your sister. Don't cut her off out of spite though.

No you would need to stop paying her bills for her. The money that is solely reserved for his needs not you're sisters, paying her bills out of his money could land you both into trouble.

Does your sister have any special needs or an unusual situation that may have meant she was unable to manage her own bills?

There may be other resources or discounts available to her?

When I took over my dad’s bill paying I stopped paying for any number of unnecessary things he was contributing to, and let them all know it was ending. His money was immediately conserved for his needs only, especially as we didn’t know what his needs might turn into. Most of the unnecessary things were charities he’d been supporting, but there were a couple of relatives mixed in. I let them know, kindly, that it was ending, and was pleasantly surprised that no one argued or disagreed. I kept loads of records and would advise you to do likewise

My take is it depends on the circumstances, and we have zero information to go on. It's common on the forum to assume that a POA has only been activated because the grantor has become so cognitively incapacitated that they are in imminent need of a facility, and that people like the OP's sister are greedy grifters. But not all POAs require incapacity and not all elders are poor or have been taken advantage of, IMO if a person has an outstanding debt or has given to a charity for decades or has agreed to support a child for reasons that are none of the POA's business then that should be honoured UNLESS it will cause financial hardship/difficulties.

This is a sad situation. I am sure that your dad was concerned about your sister and wanted to help her.

There’s nothing wrong with helping someone over a hump. When help becomes a crutch it’s a problem for the giver and the taker.

It would have been more beneficial for your dad to work with your sister to figure out a plan for her to be able to help herself at some point down the line.

Even though your dad’s intentions were to help. He ended up crippling your sister because she became dependent upon him.

I think you should do whatever you feel is best for your dad. He matters as much as your sister does.

Are you interested in helping your sister get back on track by teaching her how to survive on her own without additional help from your dad? If you are, you can fulfill your dad’s wishes of your sister’s needs being met.

Best wishes to you and your family.

I would ask to see the agreement in writing. Keep in mind circumstances change, your father may need the money to care for himself.

If he has passed unless it is in the will, the verbal agreement dies with him.

Need more information to formulate a more detailed response,

I am so with Alva on this. Things have changed. If Dad had died, the Executor in no way would have to pay sister's bills. She is going to be on her own at some point. She needs to figure out sooner or later how she is going to pay her bills. She can get help from the utility.

No, you are POA now and you are paying dad's bills, not your sisters. You cannot gift his money. Your father would have had to put this request formally in his POA designation, and even then this would be very risky. You could be robbing your father of Medicaid were he to need it in the future if he/you are "gifting" out money in any amounts. Given what bills are today, this could qualify as gifting and not a good thing. You are not allowed to gift your father's money to someone else, nor to enrice yourself nor any other family member.

My response is dependent on the fact your father is no longer competent, you are paying his bills for him (and keeping METICULOUS RECORDS of every penny into and out of ALL his accounts), and your sister has no contract stipulating your father pay her electric bill for some certain amount of time because-etc."

My answer also is dependent on the fact your father doesn't LIVE with your sister, because if he does then he owes a whole lot more than electric bill contribution; if he lives with sister then a care contract for shared living expenses should be done by you and sis WITH AN ATTORNEY and as a legal document/contract.

Your sister needs to accept the new reality that your father's generosity will end some day whether it's because he needs to pay for his own care or because of his future death, it's time she makes a plan to be self supporting. That said it's his money and if this has been a long standing agreement between them it's not up to you to decide the right or wrong of this, as his agent you are obligated to attempt to fulfill his wishes as much as is reasonably possible.