My father-in-law has been living with my husband and I. He was recently diagnosed with a very large brain tumor. He was given the option of surgery and was given no promises that it would do him any good considering they would be removing most of the left lobe. So he refused the surgery seems the prognosis was so gloomy. He has progressivly gotten worse and is falling 2-3 times a day and isn't getting the proper nutrition due to his fear of falling more. I make sure he gets at least one good meal a day but some days he fumbles his way to bed before I even get off work. My husband and I both work full time jobs so niether one of can be home 24 hours a day and we are expecting our first child in a few weeks and after much debating we have reached the conclusion we can no longer give him the help he needs. He doesn't have a POA though and is very stubborn and has lost a great deal of his reasoning skills due to the swelling of the tumor. We are looking at placing him in a home or something similer so he can get the care hwe needs but without a POA we have to have his full consent right? Is there any way we can gain control of his medical care if we can prove he no longer knows whats best for himself?
First, you can care for anyone regardless of having a POA or not. You would not, however, be able to make medical decsions for your father...or give permission for treatment. Same goes for financial issues.
Second, if he is deemed not of sound mind, he cannot legally give his consent.
Have you considered in-home care for him before you send him off to a facility? It may buy him more time living at home with people he knows and who care about him. Regardless, he should not be left alone for long periods of time and he should be eating more than one meal a day.
Can you speak with his doctor for advice...or a social worker at your local hospital? They are great resources.
If your doctor has deemed that he is in the end stages of his life, hospice may be able to assist you.
I know that you both have a lot on your plates right now (we all do) but please consider alternatives before sending him to unfamiliar surroundings. No facility can take the place of family.
Best in resolving these issues-
Hap
I think you should call a lawyer, you need a DNR, etc, for him and only a lawyer can do that and he can decide if your dad ok to sign. Best of luck. :(
And congratulations on the arrival of the new little one. Good luck.