I'm 61 with breast cancer and I have no one. Does anyone know of a place to call for help or a place to go other than a nursing home?

https://midlandhealth.org/the-breast-center/support-groups

I have a cancer support center in my area. Search for a womens support center near you. The women I met were amazing and our difficulties are shared. One friend had 2 young children and no spouse. (After he learned of her diagnosis he left). We can get through incredibly awful events with the help of others. Find a support group, make friends again, look for a new home and focus on saving yourself not cleaning up after others who did not look out for your future and well being. You can do this. We cancer survivors are a very large club.

Hud has reasonably priced housing in many towns and cities for seniors and the disabled who choose to remain living independently. I live in a one bedroom apartment in northern California that is for seniors and those with disabilities. I had to start over in a new town by myself right after getting treatment for breast cancer, but I have met many fine people along the way. I met incredibly brave people in breast cancer support groups. I met a variety of people at local senior centers. Attending a church or temple where you choose to live provides you with terrific support from caring people, not to mention personal spiritual help. Don't give up on your life. Life doesn't end because you were treated for breast cancer. There are many friendships and relationships just waiting for you, if you just risk reaching out to others. The best is yet to come.

Please keep us updated Tumbleweed - You took care of their father the least they can do is let you stay till after you Get treatment and heal . Find a Low Income lawyer at social services and change the locks and pay the utilities till you have your Operation and chemo . Focus on that . Check out Hospice and any support That you Can get . Find a social worker someone who can help you navigate thru this crisis . I am the same age as you . I got diagnosed with brain cancer and told " I was going to die . " The Doctors called me every day to check in on me . There are many options and suggestions here . If you seek out help you will find help but do not give up . Make yourself #1 and be selfish . Private message any one here who you resonate with . FB Has good cancer groups . Host a Sister can provide a room If you state what you are going thru - someone has probably gone thru the same that has extra space . Get support it sounds Like you have been terribly isolated . There are practitioners who give free reiki . I go to a acupuncture clinic that is sliding scale . People have had success using Rick Simpson oil ( cannabis based ) When I was in between apartments I would stay at a Hostel and make friends . Don't give up on yourself . Life is just beginning for you .

If you do not find any other assistance, please give these suggestions a try.
1. Some churches have ministries that offer help to the sick and the elderly.

2. Facebook has some good support groups for people who have cancer. The people in the group might have some advice.

There are lots of organizations that support people with cancer. Have you called the American Cancer Society?
https://www.cancer.org/involved/donate.html

You might find your answers here:

https://giftsofhopetx.org

https://www.lawinfo.com/conservatorships/texas/midland/

https://www.texascancer.info/scripts/mgwns.html?MGWLPN=TCDC&PgmName=JCsup10&Cid=Y001

Google cleaning for a reason. They provide two free cleanings for cancer patients. Also talk to your oncologist's social worker or nurse practitioner. They always know about local resources.

I am 68 and am in my 11th year of fighting Hodgkin's lymphoma. It feels good to get just the kitchen clean. I can handle the rest. I spent some of my retirement money to renovate the bathroom to help with my lost mobility. Figure that I will die before I need it.

Don't hesitate to ask for help with the yard. People are really wonderful an willing to do what they can.

Take care of yourself.

Liz

Consider the fact that you would not benefit from the sale of the house, I would not take the responsibility on to clean it & concentrate on your health. Find an internal medical PCP to get a full physical check-up and refer you for a mental health evaluation. Between the two they can guide you to the help that you seek. Please reach out for the answers to your questions & find the help that you need. Find a church, gym, join an American Cancer support group, anyway, to meet people. Make friends, kickstart a new life for yourself! 🙏🙏🙏

Just want to add a comment or 2 to the very good suggestions you have received so far. I lived alone during my cancer treatment and felt quite lonely and frightened when I first got my diagnosis. I had heard a lot about how horrible "chemo" is. But they have made many advances in chemo. I had visions of "wasting away" due to vomiting etc. Trying to be cheerful, (but envisioning myself weak and thin) I said to the nurse, "Well, at least I'll lose some weight". She chuckled and said no, but you may gain a pound or two due to the anti-nausea medication they give.

I made more friends during cancer treatment than ever before. The I.V. chemo was given in a room with other patients, usually the same group each time. We had nothing to do as the IV's were given but relax in lounge chairs, chat, compare notes and tell crazy jokes about cancer and other things. It was like an unstructured group therapy. I was almost sorry when the weeks of chemo were done, But fortunately, a few of us stayed in touch, compared our progress and became permanent telephone buddies.

My postman, whom I'd hardly talked to before, insisted on hand delivering my mail. He also insisted on taking me to a cancer survivors "rally" he knew of. Neighbors stopped by to check on me and offer help. I suddenly had all sorts of new friends.!

Today, the survival rate for breast cancer is good. I won't guarantee any pleasant aspects of surgery, chemo or radiation (All of which I survived fairly well). But don't assume you won't do well or that there will be no "up side" to the whole experience. You may well gain a whole new outllook on your life as well as get the help you need to take care of (or dispose of) the house. Again, you have my best wishes and prayers.

how bout good friends or any close cousins. i am 75 and in ok shape, have one daughter and family but i'm always doing for them - i feel alone when it comes to doing for me. i have good friends and we do talk about things. good luck

I totally agree with sp19690 and Peggy Sue2020. Since you will get nothing, do nothing. Just stay there and pay the utilities. It would take months maybe years to evict you and just let them do it. Go to all the organizations for help that have been mentioned. No telling what will show up.

Death by Breast Cancer is no walk in the park, it is painful and debilitating. I had several girlfriends die that way. Please, get help. You didn't say what "stage" you are in, but there is hope with a lot of the new therapies they have today.

I too am a Breast Cancer survivor. I did try to get help and was told that it was benign until it dimpled and was in one of my lymph nodes and a third one (I called it a baby) was near the original cancer. This was in 1982, 40 years ago. I didn't lose my hair, I was sick, but I worked the entire time.

You can always PM me if you want. I don't know much about help out there, because 40 years ago it wasn't available and I had insurance and a job.

Please contact the doctor that is treating you for cancer. His office should be able to put you in touch with resources in your area. Also check with churches in your area - they know the local resources - as well as the local police (who also know the local resources).

Tumbleweed4242: I'm not understanding why your late mothers's and stepfather's home has to be cleaned out and sold. You should be able to garner much assistance from the Susan G. Komen Foundation, toll free phone number is 877-465-6636, email address is helpline@komen.org. Good luck.

Someone may have already mentioned this but if you are being treated at a hospital, there should be a social worker that you can talk to who can help you with the various sources available to you.

@Tumbleweed4242, everyone has given splendid — and actionable — advice to you, take it step by step and you can beat this.

Most importantly is the advice given by SSAretired (SSA is Social Security Administration) which I cut and paste here: SSAretired tells why you must call TODAY:

”Call Social Security today to make an appointment for SSD/SSI at 1-800-772-1213. The date that you make the appointment is considered your application date, so it is essential that you call in February or you lose a month’s worth of benefits. SSA is backed up, so your actual appointment won’t be for several weeks, so move forward with your treatment plans in the meantime. From your posting, I am guessing that you have mental health issues, and those issues should be included in the information that you provide to SSA. FYI, even if you have not been working, you can be entitled to SSI benefits as a disabled individual.”

Monday is 28 February 2022, the last day of February. You MUST get logged in to their application system by 28th at latest since benefits will be retroactive to the month in which you applied. You will gain a whole month of retroactive benefits by phoning on or before Monday the 28th.

Do it, dear Tumbleweed4242, we are all pulling for you!

If you do decide on treatment, see if they have housing available for cancer patients nearby - some places do have this for patients during treatment. When my brother had cancer, we were under the assumption that he would be receiving treatment at a University cancer center, which had housing available, if needed, for patients & their family during treatment. The American Cancer Society also has "Hope Lodge" available in some cities. (We contacted them to find transportation for my brother to and from his treatment and it's a volunteer based program - since there were no volunteers in the area, we were out of luck. All they offered us was 'support groups', so I wouldn't get my hopes up too high on them helping you though it may be different in your case.)

I agree with the poster who said to just pick out a few sentimental mementos and walk away from the house and let somebody else deal with it since it will provide you no benefit to clean it out & sell it.

Best of luck whatever you decide.

You should be able to stay in house since you were caregiver for years! You can contact the Susan G Komen charitable foundation specializes in helping women with breast cancer…
phone 📞 1-877-GOKOMEN or
1-877-465-6636. G-d bless & HUGS 🤗

I can understand your panic! I had both breasts removed at exactly your age and I, too, was alone. No insurance, no family, but a few good friends. I had a bilateral mastectomy, chemo and radiation. You will NOT need a nursing home, believe me. I was shocked when the nurse at my surgeon's office told me both breasts would be removed, at one time, in "day-surgery"!

Day Surgery??? I just said, NO, I live alone. I want some heavy-duty pain medication after the surgery (injections).
Talked again to my doctor. He said he would hospitalize me and I could stay as long as I felt the need. I said I have no insurance. He said don't worry about that now. You'll find a way later on. First things first. (He was right...but that's another story)

I had the mastectomies and stayed two nights in the hospital. Actually, that's all the time I needed. I had no one to stay with me at home, although a friend offered (she could spend one night).

I had pain pills. Another friend brought food. But actually I didn't need much and was glad to be in my own bed. The pain was not as bad as expected. I had 2 "drains", one on either side of my chest that I had to empty 2-3 times a day from the little plastic bulbs on either side. Have someone at the hospital show you how to do this. It's not hard! And you will be able to get around fairly easily. A friend drove me to the doctor for dressing changes.

Believe me, you won't need a nursing home. And these days you are probably safer and much more comfortable in your own home than the hospital (I've worked in hospitals for many years, and have been a patient recently enough to know).

Just don't make a secret of your surgery (if needed) and your treatment. If you have chemo, you may wear scarves or head gear, so everybody will know, anyhow. And you may be surprised at the people who will offer you help! Take advantage of this. Folks feel good about themselves when they can help "a cancer patient", especially.
Ask for and accept any prayers you are offered. Mine will be among them. Medical folks are getting better and better at cancer diagnosis and treatment. God bless you and give you hope and strength.

Tumbleweed4242,

When I read your post I was shocked because I could have written myself right down to the age. Almost everything for me was the same. I just logged in here for the first time and the first thing I saw was your post.

I do not know what state you live in. I would be happy to talk with you. If you like, answer me back and maybe we can talk. Or maybe you can post specifically what is the very most important thing right now on your mind to do.

I don't know how this works but my heart when out to you because I have so been there. There is guidance in the BC community. You are very right and very brave to post so first off, give yourself some kindness and praise right away.

I'll check back here soon. I don't always check posts/e-mails right away but I'll remember to check here.

Best wishes,

Jessica

Why exactly does the home have to be cleared out and sold? Texas laws really favor property owners and their heirs.

Is it that there is a mortgage on it and it’s delinquent to the point that it’s been foreclosed on? Did it have a reverse mortgage? if it’s either of these, those are pretty ironclad so house has to vacated.

Or Is it that the home was owned by your mom and her husband and it’s his % ownership (him or his daughter) is wanting the house sold? If it’s this you need to defend the terms of your mothers will (even if she was on LTC Medicaid as that is a different issue although interrelated).
or
Are you thinking you have to leave as you got a Notice of Intent or other correspondence from the State or an outside contractor for state Medicaid that the house is an asset of moms estate that has a Medicaid bill. If it’s this, there is a whole process to Estate recovery that is required to be done. If step dad was co-owner, he will have to be involved in the process as well. If you are the heir as per a valid will to your moms estate and are yourself low income, will be homeless if not for this home or were a full time caregiver for them, you should file for an exclusion to recovery. There is going to be a probono legal clinics for the Permian Basin area, try calling SafePlace of PB 432-522-7201 or Legal Aid of NwTx 432-332-1207 to speak with someone to find out options on having to leave that house if possible.

I don't know about the house - will you benefit by cleaning it up? Will you inherit it? is it worth anything? If not, walk away - not your problem. Call the local hospital and ask for people/organizations to contact - they can help steer you. Talk to the doctor and see what information they can give you. Also talk with an attorney to see what you should be doing now legally to protect yourself and if you need help. I went through this too - I could not walk - no family - ended up in assisted living. There is help but you need to seek it by talking with the pro's.

https://www.aplaceformom.com/caregiver-resources/articles/saying-no-to-the-power-of-atttorney-duty

You can hire a person to be your Power Of Attorney. An Elder Law Attorney can help you put it together so that someone is always looking after you while you're fighting the good fight or putting your affairs in office.


Hospice is also a solution, read on! https://hospicefoundation.org

Please look into this... it is a cancer cure that has helped many people and it is not invasive at all. Some cures have been suppressed. This is one of them. I hope it will help you.

Antineoplaston A10, a naturally occurring substance in human body, is a Ras inhibitor potentially for the treatment of glioma, lymphoma, astrocytoma and breast cancer.

I don't know exactly the situation with the home. But if you are unable to stay there look into getting some financial aide so you can at least be able to rent a place. Don't go into a nursing home.

If there is no benefit coming to you from the cleanout and sale of your mothers home, let it go. If your name is not on the house, don't worry about it. Walk away from it and worry about yourself.

If you were 90 and blind in one eye and couldn't see out of the other, I would agree with your decision not to seek treatment. BUT - You are too young not to seek treatment. Many of the methods and treatments for Breast Ca have come a long way. There are many many organizations, grants and funding that is tied to breast ca treatment centers. They can give you rides on treatment day, they can get food delivered to you, connect you with all sorts of folks. I can only imagine how mentally/emotionally depleted you are from the caregiving and losing your mother, but don't give up hope. Take a deep breath, forget about your moms house. Make an appointment with your doctor and ask for a counselor or social worker to help you navigate caring for yourself while you go through treatment.

https://mentalhealthtx.org/facilities/american-cancer-society-midland-main-office/

The link above is for Midland, Texas Am Cancer Society.
Let us know when you call them as to how it works out.

There is NOTHING more important for you to do than to take care of yourself. The cancer won’t wait. Once you put yourself in the hands of professionals, they will help you find your way.

Contact Your local Catholic Charities. They may be able to help you find housing. I went through the same thing as you spending years taking care of my parents with dementia, finally get my life back (as in no more parents to care for 24-hours per day) only to be diagnosed with cancer. My resources were extremely limited as well, but I fought through it and I’ve been cancer free three years. There is hope for you out there. It will just take some time. I got counseling and it was extremely helpful for me, but it did take several counselors to find the right one.

Contact your area's local branch of the American Cancer Society. This will be a good starting point.
There are actual group homes for people who have serious illness that have no place to go and no support system to help them. These places are not for people with mental illness, or for elderly people who are ill or have dementia.
The American Cancer Society will be able to put you in touch with such a place. Often they are located nearby to major hospitals.
If you will be getting nothing from the sale of your mother's house just walk away. Don't clean it out. Don't try to get it ready to go on the market. Let the place be foreclosed upon and let the greedy nursing home, or memory care, or whatever facility you placed your mother in fight over it with the town or city it's in.
Just walk away. You've got enough to deal with and no one helping you. Walk away from it.

Call the American Cancer Society. I worked for years on Relay For Life - they have many resources available. You could also try the Susan G. Komen Association - they specialize in breast cancer. You definitely need to catch a break! Good luck to you!

We’re the same age and have similar circumstances (long-time caregiver, both parents recently died, have no place to live, a frightening health diagnosis, & a lack of resources). It's stressful. As tired and hopeless as you may feel, the clock is ticking and you need a plan to ease your burden and find some well-deserved peace. This is your life and you get to make the choices.

Here’s how I’m approaching it - solo:

1.      Food – Locate local food pantries and explain your medical situation. https://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html/midland_food_pantries.html Volunteers will often deliver to your home or package items for curbside pick-up. Some places also provide referrals for emergency housing, etc.
2.      Shelter – Locate local agencies for a referral to food, housing, health, and safety. You may have to consider renting a room or sharing an apartment. And don’t lift a finger at your mother’s home. Change the locks. Pack your own belongings and keepsakes that were hers, and wait for the eviction notice.
3.      Medical Care – Discuss your decision with your physician and ask about resources that might be available to you. What can you afford to pay for? Do you need public assistance?
a.      Reach out to Cancer support groups and ask for what you need. Be specific.
b.     You stated that because you have no one to help, you will not treat the disease. If you had someone – anyone – would you feel differently? If you had support would you make a different choice? My 82-year-old neighbor fought 3 rounds of breast cancer all by herself. Friends did her weekly grocery shopping (or Walmart online ordering/free delivery is available in most areas) and they did drive her to chemo on the days when she could not drive herself. It can be done.
c.      Advanced Healthcare Directive – if/when you are no longer able to make medical decisions for yourself, you must have your wishes in writing and have the document on file at any facility that you stay with. Make copies and file at your physician's office, residential facility, etc.  https://www.caringinfo.org/wp-content/uploads/Texas.pdf
d.     Medicaid – Medicaid programs vary by state and generally cover a broad array of health services and limits enrollee out-of-pocket costs. Medicaid finances nearly a fifth of all personal health care spending in the U.S., providing significant financing for hospitals, community health centers, physicians, nursing homes, and jobs in the health care sector. If you don’t qualify, ask about other programs. Social Security Disability is another option to pursue.
e.     Hospice At-Home – Too many people think Hospice is just for the final days/weeks of life. My father was in at-home Hospice for nearly 2 years. Medicare paid for equipment, comfort-care medications, a nurse, a social worker, and daily aides to help with bathing, meals, changes of linens, etc. The Hospice social worker is your advocate and will help you navigate and apply for programs to pay for services if you don’t qualify for Medicare. Call your local Hospice and they’ll come to your home to determine if you qualify. It's a free consultation.
f.       Estate Planning – Decisions need to be made or you become a ward of the state and the state determines where you will be placed, burial vs. cremation, etc. If it makes sense, get an attorney OR use an affordable online estate tool to create: (1) Power of Attorney, (2) Advanced Healthcare Directive/Living Will, and (3) Last Will and Testament. I chose Quicken WillMaker & Trust which is available at www.NOLO.com and customizable by state.  Then I took the documents to a local notary. Easy.
4.      General Resources: https://money.com/solo-seniors-elder-orphans-resources/
5. Reach out to connect with old friends and extended family.

If you do decide to allow the disease to run its course, then shift your focus to comfort care and fulfill some bucket list items for pleasure. You deserve to have some happiness! All the best to you.

First, if your are your mother's only child you are entitled to some sort of inheritance. See if you can find an attorney who will give you a free consultation on what, if any rights you might have as a beneficiary. Then contact the various social agencies relating to cancer and what you might qualify for. I'm not sure exactly why you're not entitled to part of your parent's estate as a surviving beneficiary, but if I were you I'd definitely check that out.