I will be making his meals all household chores he takes medicine making sure he takes them I don't bathe or any of that but just making sure he has what he needs and being here incase he falls he's 90 and frail. I don't know what to change. I'm not sure exactly the schedule yet but so far it's been 16 hrs a day at least . I'd like to know what to request for my pay. I do sleep at nite but still have to be on alert if he's up.and around. What is a reasonable wage weekly to reauest?
How does anyone expect a person to work 16 hrs a day. My daughter is an RN and she can't work more than 2 16hr shifts in a row.
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According to the laws here in DC we can't work over sixteen hour days as Home Health Aides. Don't let family members or friends try to manipulate you into sticking with someone for sixteen hour days with no relief. So, you only get to sleep eight hours and back on the job without showering, eating or sleeping?
I don't know what is wrong with some people who suggest this type of thing. Trust me, it will go way beyond medications and the other things you listed. At ninety years old, this person will eventually decline or is already declining. Room and board is not free if you become a slave to this situation.
Stick with your cleaning business. You need to pay into your social security taxes, medicare tax, state tax and other taxes that are taken out. This will be very important for retirement.
Please stop listening to relatives and friends. They need to go through the proper legal channels to get things done for their loved one including placement of this individual.
Being "on alert" while trying to sleep won't work either.
You should be paid BY THE HOUR. DO NOT MOVE IN.
They are trying to pay you less by claiming "free room & board."
The poor man belongs in a nursing facility. His family is trying to avoid paying actual costs, and suckering you into a job you cannot do by yourself. You have no training or medical experience.
What would you do if the family had a change of heart and you had to move out suddenly (or your client went into a facility or passed away)? You wouldn't be allowed to stay there.
Maybe consider going through Care.com where at least you may get some protections. There are many people who chose to live-in as caregivers and came here with all sorts of difficult problems because of it. I personally wouldn't be a live-in for any amount of money.
Also, as an employer for many years, it is best to never hire (or work for) friends or relatives as it makes things awkward if you have to fire people or critique them, etc. Just go into it with your eyes wide open.
In all caregiving for the elderly, each phase is just that. A phase, a stage. The senior is in a decline if for no other reason than being 90, one is in decline. So whatever condition he is in now, is a temporary one. The older we are, the speed of aging accelerates.
All the things you mentioned you don’t do, will need to be done at some point. What’s the plan for then? Perhaps someone is already doing that part?
Also know that if you have a set of regulars you clean for, you will soon lose the business you have built up unless you plan to continue cleaning. A nice “break” might be to keep a few favored clients that you continue to clean for and request alternate sitters for while you are out.
And it wouldn’t be the forum if we didn’t remind you that time marches on for you as well. Check out your anticipated retirement from SS and know that you are burning years you could be paying into if you aren’t paying as a self employed tax payer, that is unless your 90 yr old is using an agency that takes care of the tax withdrawals.
If you are already on social security, that might not be a problem.
The best aide my DH aunt had was in her 80s before aunt had to go into full time care. She kept aunts house immaculate, cooked for her, gave her meds, tended her dog and helped her in the bathroom even after aunt became totally incontinent. Equally important, she visited with aunt and wasn’t on her cell phone.
Aunt also had home health for bathing and a nurse to check on things. If your 90 yr old qualifies for home health, then that would be a plus.
She started out at $11 an hour. Went up to $20 with raises. Plus I gave her a nice bonus when she went on vacation, her birthdays, holidays. She was one in a million.
She did not work 24/7. Just a few hours M-F.
Most elders can’t afford full time home care because it is so expensive. There are a lot of elements to consider. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
A few years ago my Dad was paying $30/hour for his 3-shifts per day for caregivers. It depends on the going rate in your area if you are in a big city or out in the country.
Your "employer" should also have a Workman Comp policy just in case you should get hurt on the job. Make sure that is something the homeowner has.
Keep us up-to-date on what happens. And if you have any question please ask. In the mean time check the green/blue bar at the top of the page, click on CARE TOPICS... a store house of information/articles that will help.
Sure, right now all they expect from you is meals, medication reminders, and housekeeping until the father needs more.
I did this line of work for 25 years and own a homecare agency now. If you've never been a caregiver, the place to start is not moving in with a frail, 90 year-old man.
You say you'll be "allowed" to sleep at night but will have to be on alert if he's up and around. So in other words you won't be allowed to sleep at night either. You will literally be on duty 24 hours a day.
What happens when the dementia gets worse and he becomes incontinent? Or if he has to be transferred from bed into a wheelchair? Or has to be showered by someone or given a bed bath? Have you ever cleaned and diapered an adult? Trust me it is not like doing it for a baby.
You will be expected to do all of this by him and his family because after all you're the live-in caregiver.
If you don't even have an idea about what you should be getting paid and have never done this kind of work, say no. You're getting in over your head here.
That 'close friend' who wants to move you into their father's house to become his caregiver, will easily become a close enemy. This will happen.
I have seen this scenario play put many times with friends bringing friends in to caregive for an elderly parent or relative. I have had it happen to me. Families take advantage of the people who are in-home caregivers to their "loved one". Especially if you're working privately and not through an agency. Working for a friend, the advantage taking becomes blatant.
Be prepared to chase down your pay and often be stiffed on it. Be prepared to make their "loved one" your entire life because they will expect you to.
If you value your friendship with your close friend and want to keep it, say no to becoming their father's live-in caregiver.
You will never get the needed deep sleep this way, you will always be tired ,even if you sleep your body needs rem sleep That's very unhealthy for you to do 7 days a week.
Have you ever handled transfers from bed to wheelchair? Or walker? Or toilet? Or changed a Depends? Held a urinal so he can use it? Helped him in and out of a car? Would you recognize a stroke? A seizure? What would you do if he left the house and you have no idea where he was going, walking or driving? So many things can go wrong in a short period of time, and you shouldn’t be responsible.
It may seem like an easy way to earn more money, but it could turn out to be a trap from which you can’t escape! Help in the best way you can, which is to be a dependable housekeeper who cares about him, as I’m sure you are.
First, I'd say that if you are female, or older than 40, you are putting your health at risk to take this job. Even a "frail 90-year-old" can injure you badly if you try to pick him up or prevent him from falling.
If you are younger than 40, do you not want a life of your own? Because that's what it would be with no time off ever. The family must be hiring someone to bathe and dress him, right? They also need to hire someone for respite care, perhaps weekends, or one weekend day and one week day, to give you a reasonable amount of time off.
Okay, so let's assume you ARE taking the job, what about pay. A very modest wage for a caregiver would be $20 per hour. Assuming 5 days a week, 16 hours a day would be 5X16X20 = $1600 per week. I wouldn't want to do this, but if I did, that's the minimum I would accept. With a bedroom, bathroom, and meals included.