Dad had 3 strokes during the last 4 yrs and I have been by his side either in the hospital, nursing home & certainly while I was his caretaker in my home. He also has Parkinsons and was recently diagnosed with Liver Cancer. During this time my brother has not bothered to be involved in his life or in his healthcare. In 4 yrs I think he has visited dad 10 times and he lives only 7 miles from our home. His wife's way of explaining her non-involvement in his life is that she has to work and he is not her father. An argument started after that statement and they told me they were going to have an attorney file for Guardianship over our father. I am dads Medical and Financial POA. They threatened to have me put in jail for "stealing" dads money. He has none!! When he lived with me we had an agreement that I would use his SS check (1600.00) to cover shelter and misc costs as I saw fit. I did not work while I cared for him so he knew his check would have to cover our bills each month. I didn't receive any compensation from him. I have paid dads life insurance each month when he is in the nursing home because he only gets 25.00 of his SS check. Recently dad was attacked in a hospital by another patient. My brother has been after me to sue the hospital for dad. Because of Medicaids look back policy dad would never see a dime of it. so I haven't pursued it. My brother has no idea about Medicaids policy or anything pertaining to dads care in the first place. Dad hasn't been deemed incompetent by his Dr so I don't think he can apply for Guardianship anyway. He also wants to move dad in a nh 2 blocks from him and away from the one he loves. Does anybody know if he can have me taken off as dads POA or obtain Guardianship? he has also said he will have me barred from visiting dad.
Be strong. Be firm. Have good boundaries. Continue to love and serve your father. Bless you.
From the sound of things, do NOT put it past dear ol' bro and company to try and sue you over some non existant legacy after dad is gone. Since he's convinced you are stealing money, he will also believe you have a looot of it stashed somewhere. Cover yourself!!! This is more than his just trying to take over guardianship. Protect yourself, and start now.
Also, If you don't already, I would also recommend a calendar/ medical journal. It helps me keep up with what we've done, what didn't work and what's coming up. It also helps me feel a little less overwhelmed, I take notes at the appointments and I know I can go back to review.
Your brother sounds like a piece of work. I agree with Macada, that he sounds very angry at you, probably for taking care of dad and dad not having a big estate. Good luck and keep us posted on what happens.
As for POA, your dad was not ruled incompetent, so he can do whatever he wants. He can change the POA (even a declared incompetent can change POA during their SANE moments) with or without your knowledge. He can leave NH anytime he wants. He can change his will to anyone he wants. And because he believes your brother, I will start gathering my receipts, notes, bills and get ready to be sued for stealing from your own father. I agree, find a lawyer to protect you Now and not when they come at you. You have enough time to prove your innocence. I'm soooo sorry that your sibling is doing this. They seem to come out of the woodworks when a parent lands in NH. NH means near death. Death means money. So, they become aggressive to get the parent away from the caregiving sibling.
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