My mom is a young 70 years old. She has a very bad memory, tells us the same stories repetitively, therefore, forgets telling us important news. She tells my little sister to not notify me of serious matters. Otherwise, she's healthy. Recently, her PCA asked my mom for gas money, my mom gave her her debit card, and the woman secretly withdrew money from my mom's account without permission, after getting the gas. My mom told my little sister and brother, but they did nothing. My mom decided that Friday will be the worker's last day, but I say she should have been fired when it happened. My sister is upset because my mom told her not to tell me but I fired the worker, thus, making it obvious that my sister told me. I don't care who's mad at me, where my mom's well being is concerned, and my mom says she understands my concerns but it wasn't my place. That may be true, but I believe that as a daughter, it was my place because my mom is extremely nice and naive, therefore, vulnerable to abuse. How do I go about getting guardianship? I have already agreed to move into a larger house, to accommodate my mom, but she refuses. I want to call a meeting with my 3 siblings, for their support in helping moma to see that this is best.
If she is found competent, no guardian will be appointed.
If the siblings do not agree, you will not be the guardian.
I think you're slightly jumping the gun with your plan to call a family conference with guardianship as the only item on the agenda (or agendum, then, I suppose, to be punctilious about it). Call a conference by all means, and chair it with a firm hand, but with the aim of setting out the issues and inviting discussion. It is perfectly all right for you and your siblings to do this without your mother present, provided you do not then act prematurely on the assumption that your mother will agree to or with whatever you have all concluded. The purpose of the exercise would be instead for you, the children, collectively to establish an agreed united front so that when your mother does need support you will have thrashed out detailed options in advance.
The young 70 year old you describe probably wouldn't be found to be incompetent, I'm afraid. And while she isn't, she has the legal right to be as chaotic as she pleases. It's very trying.
You say Mom "forgets" to tell you important things, but it sounds more like she remembers but only wants to tell certain people. That, too, is her right.
I'm sure that you only want the best for your mother. But at this point she is the one who gets to decide what is best for her. She gets to decide where she will live.
Persuasion may be your best tool at this time.
"Think on, love, think on," as (I'm told) they say in Manchester.
Your mother's character and behaviour will not alter under your guardianship (unless you count becoming more extreme), so she will continue to want to be however she is now, only more so. The difference is that you will have the authority to challenge and, if necessary, overrule her. But have you thought what living with that day after day is going to be like?
It would be desirable for POA to be set up so that if/when your mother does lose capacity you won't ALL have an administrative nightmare on your hands. Other than that, though, if I were you I don't think I'd want to touch my mother's lifestyle with a stick. You're setting yourself up either to fail or to become the Villain of the Piece. I think I'd let someone else do it - as badly as they liked.
And before you airily say oh I don't mind being unpopular if it's for my mother's good… again, think it through. That's all. Just saying. Best of luck.
Someone not handling their credit card??? Come on folks, is a red flag and I am sure there are others...I agree setting up a POA with your mother only requires her signature, tell her it is a just in case, so she will have a voice when and if...people can relate to if and when scenarios, and your mother will appreciate having someone who cares about her having that kind of power, all she is doing is giving her permission...report the person to the agency or report the theft to the bank, if it was done on a visa, visa sometimes gives you back the money...
I would not wait too long, it is a theft like any other theft report it oh and by the way get a new card issued...
The PCA who committed the theft should not just be fired but reported and have it on his or her record with APS so they have major difficulty securing another job with any agency in the future. Don't just take the path of least resistance on that - its not right, not with other people's precarious finances at stake too.