My mom has dementia, early stage but I am learning that her mind will never go where I want it to anymore.
The problem is that she was an impatient and not a very warm person in my growing up years. When I was an adult she seemed to undermine everything I did. I was always trying to be "good enough" in her eyes.
Well now she has dementia, she acts the same way towards me (not really a surprise) but I am getting impatient with this. I am "setting my boundaries" as an adult but am realizing that she no longer is able to understand this.
I ask her not to do something, tease the dog for instance. 15 minutes later, with the dog snarling at her, I once again ask her not to tease the dog and explain the danger. An hour later she is teasing the dog. She does not remember any of the previous conversations.
The issue being that she really does not remember previous conversations.
Anyone have ideas?? I feel like such an awful daughter.
Barb
It's not as if I don't understand the what's going on in my head. I remember well a psychology course that I took in nursing school. The book said that when you do something new (learn to ride a bike, juggle a ball, recite a tongue twister) you are forging new neural pathways in your brain. Like blazing a road through a juggle, it's very hard to do, and very slow going the first time through. Maybe even impossible. But the second time, is quicker, but not by much. By the time you've traveled that trail several thousand times it's paved in concrete and you can drive a NASCAR speedster through at light speed. Every time you are pushed to your limit, till you are nearly in a rage of anger, it happens quicker.
Unfortunately you can't unblaze a trail in a jungle or in your brain, unless you never travel it for a long, long time. Well the chance of a dementia patient's caregiver getting a long long time away from the their aggravation isn't going to happen untill..... well we all know the only thing that's going to end this aggravation. And wishing the misery will end, and what that means, only makes me feel like an even worse person.
room. lol. We can only do so much, I had to smile about the dog deal, my mom feeds my dog everything she eats.......DRIVES ME CRAZY, I cant get mad at the dog, but he will vomit and it is so frustrating. I am a professional butt wiper vomit picker upper. Find you a safe place and you will be fine. I have been called a bitch at 5:00 am. lol, I just tell her the apple did not fall far from the tree. Peace be with you
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