I had my sister move in with me because she is disabled and needs help. She wants to pay me for all the things I do for her, which, now I realize is a lot. I don’t have a life anymore, I am beginning to feel like I am 87 and I am 70. With absolutely no help from her children, what should she pay me? Honestly, I don’t want her money, I want her happiness. But I have given up my happiness and independence and feel slowed down to her age and disability. So, to answer her question of how much she should pay me, what would that be? What would a caregiver/cook/housekeeper ask for? This is a 24/7 issue. No help from her children whatsoever! Thank you
Your 'job' should be being a sister (sounds like you are the model kind)
There is no price that can be put on your happiness and independence.. besides, she needs you healthy and happy. What good would money do you if you cannot enjoy it anyway?
If there is a way to look after your sister and yourself at the same time, go that route even if you split it between you and a psw ...but in taking care of your sister you have to also take care of yourself.
She is so lucky to have you for a sister and I am guessing she knows it.
We never went through with this at least not yet. I didn't want to deal with the business side of that, with reporting to IRS and taxes taken out, etc.
Hopefully, others who are doing this will give you better info. :)
You should not be "giving up your happiness" for your sister. Neither do her children have any "obigation" to help. Let's just be clear about that.
Is your sister paying you room and board, or are you splitting living expenses, like roommates?
If your sister requires a lot of caregiving, she should be hiring help to come in. If she is low income, she should apply for Community Medicaid to assist.
Contact your local Area Agency on Aging as a starting point. They will do a "needs assessment" and advise on her level of need and how to go about securing help. She would probably also benefit from 'case management' services.
https://www.officeonaging.ocgov.com/services/contracted-providers