Been a caregiver for over 30 years...my dad with Parkinson's who died at 76; my best friend with breast cancer died at 51. I'm struggling with caring for someone this age. I know on a slow decline. She refuses any help (my husband, mom, and I all reside in one house), will not think about placement, and declines hospice strenuously. Her balance is nearly gone..uses walker maybe 5%. Her COPD is going down hill again, no oxygen...you guessed refuses. She has chf, kidney disease, thyroid disease, spinal stenosis afib, and high blood pressure. Plus some dementia. I'm starting to come apart at the seams and trying to hold on to sanity...what there is left. I'm in need of coping skills to survive this journey. Any tips, tricks, ideas, suggestions or anything greatly appreciated.
What many of us had to do was wait for a serious illness or fall where our love one could be taken to the ER... then into Rehab.... and finally into some type of senior care.
But in the mean time we had to deal with the situation. Maybe set some boundaries if possible. And slow down on the enabling. Sometimes even we become ill or have a serious fall, then what? That happened to me, it didn't faze my parents, they just parked themselves in their house and waited for my return.
So that my parents didn't starve, I did on-line grocery service with home delivery to their house. And they cancelled all their doctor appointments waiting for me to drive again....[sigh]. This wake up call just flew right over their head.
I was on the verge of looking for a placement for him....I was taking care of him and my terminally I'll mom...both at home... at the same time....I was at the end
However, before any decision was made he suddenly passed away