Mom and stepdad live with myself and hubs in attached suite. They need more stimulation and conversation than we can provide. Both have differing traits of dementia; moderate memory loss and confusion, mom developing urinary incontinence recently. It’s exhausting but soon we are going to really need some respite. I know they will have a hard time accepting this but we need the relief at least a of couple times a week for a few hours. We’re both in our sixties and want to enjoy life a bit before it’s our turn to struggle in our eighties, as they are. Anyone out there from our area? Thank you!
Tour places once you have a list that would be acceptable.
Problem is you do have to make an appointment to tour. Another problem now is many tours are given virtually. So most will show cleaner than what you might find on a surprise visit.
Contact the local County, Village or State Health Departments and ask if they inspect the kitchen and other food service areas. What are problems? If they ask you to fill out a Freedom of Information form to get the information you want do it....
You can also contact the Ombudsman in your state and ask these questions.
You will probably never find the "perfect" place. They do not exist.
You can also look for a smaller group home in your area if you want a smaller "home" type environment. There are not many of these but they are becoming more common.
Are either of your parents Veterans? That could open a whole new approach and possibility for your parents.