My father supposedly refuses to let the nurse aides help change his clothing or disposable brief. They say because he is competent, he can refuse. I live 150 miles away. When I speak with him, he says they don't offer to help. I'm not sure what to do. Apparently, he is already experiencing skin breakdown.
You call the person in charge and you ask them to go while you are on the phone with your father and offer to help so you can hear for yourself what is happening.
OR- Ask him to call for help right then while you are on the phone with him and wait until they come and listen to the exchange.
Who told you that his skin was breaking down?
Have there been any other issues with his care that you can corroborate, not just based on what he tells you? 150 miles is not the other side of the world and you may need to run up on a Friday night for the weekend to speak personally with his care team. This way you will have a clear picture of what is and what is not going on.
For a person to refuse or tell you they didn't offer when they did, there is some decline here. Really, who in their right mind wants to sit in a cold wet depends.
The staff on weekends are not necessaily the the staff during the week. So they may not to really help you. So I would try to go during the week.
MY FIL would not allow the female nurses or aids to bathe him or change his briefs, The males were called in. Problem solved.
You cannot let a urine soaked depends sit next to delicate papery "old people's" skin. It will break down and cause such a problem.
Probably worth the drive to see what's really happening.