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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Could use a bit more detail but a bedside commode might help. There are ones that act as a liftchair if leg strength is lacking (lifts you up 13" and tips you forward like a liftchair). If the problem is bed mobility (getting in/out of bed and repositioning in bed) then there are assistive items like Superpoles and Friendly Beds. Be wary of the flimsy items on the market.
Hi, saturn49. You probably already know the answer, but sometimes it's a tough one to accept. If your brother is losing mobility and eliminating before reaching the bathroom, an adult undergarment (diaper) is really the best solution for making clean-up simpler and to afford him the dignity of not having soiled his clothing. There are products to handle all degrees of unintended loss of control. All the best to you both.
When my husband with Alzheimers is embarrassed about this problem I just act very nonchalant and say, "Nonsense - We ALL go to the toilet so we don't mind cleaning you up." At night I put an extra towel on the floor next to the bed to catch random weeing, and have a bedside lamp I can switch on quickly. I have a plastic bowl thing that I use to catch wee in if my husband is standing and weeing all over the place. I also have a large supply of white vinegar and bicarb because it helps to wash the smell out of carpets as soon as possible. P.S. Washing up gloves and doctors disposable rubber gloves are essentials.
I male urinal would be of tremendous help; can get these nearly anywhere. For bowel movements, a bed pan might also help. This is if he has enough sensation to give you some warning.
Happyjack - You're right about needing a male urinal but for pooping while standing I can't imagine what would help. In a moment of madness/genius I thought what I need is a bowl in front of my husband to catch the wee and a kind of gravy boat thing behind him to catch the poop. haha. Oh dear - the things we think of in a moment of desperation.
This is always one of those unpleasent things that caregivers rarely hear about when we take the job. My grandmother is unable to control either her bladder or bowels so this is a dayily things for me.
First off, get rid of the embaressment as fast as you can. You are going to have to get up close and personal real quick. I know it's strange and ackward, but it has to be done. As for his embaressment, just try to make it as much a part of everyday living, don't make a big deal out of it. Diapers help, as do absorbtion pads. You can buy them at hospital supply places and then place them on top of the sheet at night to help contain everything. For a quick cheap method a emply trash bad and an old towel works to. If he is still able to make it out of bed to a toliet or a bedside commode then try to make it a habit to at least try to sit on the toliet once every few hours or so. It's always eaiser to clean a pot then a person. The last thing I can say, at least with my experience is that he is also going to need more washing up/bathing. Even with the diapers, the exposure to more urine/fecal matter will mean that he will be more prone to infections and rashes. Also, as mentioned above, white viniger and a good washing machine are going to become your new best friends for clean up of floors, furinture and soiled clothing/bedding.
Thanks for the suggestions. I should have explained that my brother has a catheter in place permanently so this is a bowel problem. He was able to move to commode until Sept when he suffered seizures and quite a change in physical strength. In rehab center where he was for 3 weeks he was just put in diaper and that is how they handled it. Quite different here at home where we are responsible 24hrs a day and never sure when he will be going, He doesn't really know himself right now so there is no schedule at all. Cleanup could be 3-4 times a day and at any hour. Very difficult for the family right now but we were glad he is home. Any more ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Saturn, I have the same problem with my Mom. She is 91 in late stage dementia/alz and doesnt walk or talk. In the morning I lift her into the wheelchair and then put it close to the toilet so her feet land and only have to pivot. I lift her up and pivot her, drop her pjs and place her down on the toilet. I wash her there and she needs help getting her bowels moving so its a morning routine. The lifting is tough and my arms are aching from doing it for 2 years. I have a hoyer now but havent figured out how to get her pants off once in the bathroom. I suppose if you take off his bottom half and put him into a hoyer sling, You can hoyer him onto a toilet or commode. You would need to get a U-Sling in which the "rear end" is open. As bad as my Mom is, she wont do her BM's laying or reclining so I need to put her on daily. Coleen, you could buy disposible bed pads for the floor, they are 12-25 cents each on amazon. Some are 50 cents each and I cut them in half for her wheelchair. I also had to put mom in unstrippable pjs. Good luck to both of you.
Clothes with zips and small button holes are a problem. Anther genius idea of mine was to put my dear husband in stripper pants that I can whip off in a flash. I haven't got round to this yet but have adjusted buttons etc to make it easier. I also debated letting him not wear underpants because he is not incontinent, it's just that when he needs to go HE NEEDS TO GO IMMEDIATELY! But the underpants have helped contain stuff in public which would normally fall onto the floor out of his pants. I don't fancy leaving a brown trail as we walk through the shops. Perhaps the time is near for us to get pull-up nappies.
Does anybody feel that they just cannot do this everday?? That is too physically and mentally draining?? I see only 2 choices. 24hr caregiver or long term care. Very confused and upset about the whole thing. Just do not know at this point..
(((((((saturn)))))) Many here feel that they cannot go on. Others are able to. Caregiving is extremely physically, and emotionally draining. There is no shame in being one of the ones who cannot go on. 24/7 nursing an ill person who has limited mobility etc is a huge task. Professionals have shifts, and time off. You do have alternatives - either hire someone to come in, so you have some days/nights off, hire full time caregivers, or long term care. All of these require some financial resources. Are there any agencies in your city/town who could advise you of what is available? There can be benefits to the patient in long term care with more socializing, various programs etc, How does your brother feel about it? You mention family. Do you have a husband and children, or are you both living with other family members? How do they feel? Everybody's needs should be considered, not just the ill person. Is it time to have a talk with your brother about possible placement soon, or in the future? His needs for care will only increase as the MS progresses, and you need a plan that works for all of you. If it is too much for you, you need to face that, and deal with it, with loving concern for all. Don't put yourself last, as many caregivers are prone to do. Your health - physical and mental can be (are?) affected by caregiving. Let us know how you are doing. Even venting helps, but I do think you need a plan for the future. More ((((((hugs)))))) Joan
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
First off, get rid of the embaressment as fast as you can. You are going to have to get up close and personal real quick. I know it's strange and ackward, but it has to be done. As for his embaressment, just try to make it as much a part of everyday living, don't make a big deal out of it.
Diapers help, as do absorbtion pads. You can buy them at hospital supply places and then place them on top of the sheet at night to help contain everything. For a quick cheap method a emply trash bad and an old towel works to.
If he is still able to make it out of bed to a toliet or a bedside commode then try to make it a habit to at least try to sit on the toliet once every few hours or so. It's always eaiser to clean a pot then a person.
The last thing I can say, at least with my experience is that he is also going to need more washing up/bathing. Even with the diapers, the exposure to more urine/fecal matter will mean that he will be more prone to infections and rashes.
Also, as mentioned above, white viniger and a good washing machine are going to become your new best friends for clean up of floors, furinture and soiled clothing/bedding.
Good luck and hope some of this helps.
Coleen, you could buy disposible bed pads for the floor, they are 12-25 cents each on amazon. Some are 50 cents each and I cut them in half for her wheelchair. I also had to put mom in unstrippable pjs. Good luck to both of you.
More ((((((hugs)))))) Joan