Hello,
My mom is very independent. She is very abusive and lies a lot. When something does not go her way she calls the police and uses it to her advantage. She has the police snowed. I recently found out she has been stealing from the stores. It has gotten so bad I nearly took my life.
Anyway out there can offer any advice or even going through the same thing please leave a reply.
Thanks
Can you just avoid her? IMO, the MOST important thing is that you don't hurt yourself, and get help for such strong feelings. Tell her you can't listen to the abuse because of doctor's orders, and leave. She is safe in the ALF, and you can just let her stew if you need to. Don't answer the phone, and certainly don't go there more than once a week. Reach out to your friends, so your life will be worth living without her.
Are you embarrassed that she has been stealing? Old white women are the most common shoplifters. It's not on you.
Tell us more about the police.
As for lying. I've concluded that is common among the elderly. My grandma lies constantly. I can ask her flat out if she's done something, she'll look me straight in the eye and say no. I then go about proving that she in fact did it. She'll keep insisting that she didn't. Many times when the evidence gets overwhelming she will cave in and admit she lied with a so what attitude.