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I'm single at 63, never married, no kids. My mom is 94. I took care of my dad for 9 years and now my mom for 13 years. In many ways, caregiving for my mom is like having a small child. I have to think for her and understand that with her lack of short-term memory and cognitive abilities, she's reacting like a child would to many situations.

When I had both parents, it was pretty stressful. With just mom it's been easier and my stress levels have come down. I've also made it a priority to get exercise (Tai Chi which I highly recommend and now pickleball, which I love!) and to spend time out with friends. The only person I know who understands is my cousin, another long-term caregiver. Most caregivers I know did it for a couple of years and then their parents passed away. And they really don't get what caregiving for years and years is like.
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ive had hors and ive had ladies,
ive made love and ive made babies,
lol. told ya the david coe music makes me belligerant for a week or so.
im 55 , my b**tard sons are raised and i agree with boni. i have time in my life for an elder or two now. i think the term " dementia " has come to me to mean just another worn out , diseased organ . ( the brain ). i find this type of care to be extremely fascinating. i think most elders suffer dementia at various levels.
my aunt edna is getting late stage and her nouns have became too much trouble. im just the guy with the beard now. mental illness has always fascinated me..
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I'm almost 58, Mom almost 80. I did the married thing (twice), the single mother thing, the career thing, the living alone thing, the live-in Nanny to my Grandchildren thing,and have been here with Mom for 2 years. I believe in God's plan, and just follow where he leads me. This is where I'm supposed to be now. I am happiest when I'm taking care of someone. The grand kids where MUCH more fun than Momma........just sayin, wink.
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I was 45 when my mother lived with me for 3 years, then I was 48 when my mother in law lived with us, then I was 51 when my father in law lived with us. I had to quit my job, resentment, I think we all have some sort of selfishness to us, so do not allow that to make you feel guilty. When I read what you stated, I could relate in many ways only times 2. (and I really don't want to get into my personal life). Just remember, that these people need you for a short time on this earth, and you are thanked for it regardless of if anyone says "thank you". Care giving, is a thankless job. Meaning, you do a lot of grunt work and people are not at the water cooler saying "thank you". You have to thank yourself. You have to dream for yourself. Plan to do something for 4 days just by yourself. Make yourself a priority. Otherwise it will never get done. Trust me on that one. I was caregiving, and didn't take a day off in 4 years, and almost ended up in the hospital from exhaustion. I now take four 4 day trips a year, camping, and it makes all the difference in the world.

take care of yourself.
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There are caregivers on here in their early twenties, struggling to care for a grandparent. There are mothers who are still actively "doing the raising the kids thing." There are empty-nesters (single and married). There are caregivers in their 70s, looking after their parents in their 90s. There are people middle-aged through elderly doing their best to look after their own spouses.

You are right that there is a huge range of ages and situations represented here. We all have things in common, and things that set us apart.

I really appreciate it when posters fill out their profiles enough so we get a clearer picture of them. Advice for a twenty-year-old might not be appropriate for an eighty-year-old.

I am 69. I cared for my husband (dementia) in our home, for 10 years. He died about a year ago. My mother is now in a nursing home, with dementia.
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