As a relatively young caregiver (43), I think much of my resentment and irritation often comes from the fact that I've done the marriage thing, the divorce thing, the raising the kids thing...but I've never had the opportunity to do the alone thing. I've never once lived on my own without a spouse, kids, other relatives (spouse's or mine) living with me - not once. So sometimes I feel my relatively young age and my situation as caregiver for my mom makes me resentful of the fact that I really have no life of my own. (Of course, I don't let that resentment show to mom or anyone else, but it's there, and I'm sure it's there for others as well.)
I was just wondering how old other caregivers here are, and if the more mature caregivers feel as stuck and resentful as some of the younger ones.
Don't get me wrong - as I've said in another post, I know that like many caregivers, I put myself in this situation, and no one forced me into it. I volunteered to drop everything in my life and move in with Mom because she needed someone, and I was the only one that could do it without too much difficulty (boy, is "difficulty" a relative term!). But I thought it would be nice to see thoughts from others to get an idea of the range of ages.
When I had both parents, it was pretty stressful. With just mom it's been easier and my stress levels have come down. I've also made it a priority to get exercise (Tai Chi which I highly recommend and now pickleball, which I love!) and to spend time out with friends. The only person I know who understands is my cousin, another long-term caregiver. Most caregivers I know did it for a couple of years and then their parents passed away. And they really don't get what caregiving for years and years is like.
ive made love and ive made babies,
lol. told ya the david coe music makes me belligerant for a week or so.
im 55 , my b**tard sons are raised and i agree with boni. i have time in my life for an elder or two now. i think the term " dementia " has come to me to mean just another worn out , diseased organ . ( the brain ). i find this type of care to be extremely fascinating. i think most elders suffer dementia at various levels.
my aunt edna is getting late stage and her nouns have became too much trouble. im just the guy with the beard now. mental illness has always fascinated me..
take care of yourself.
You are right that there is a huge range of ages and situations represented here. We all have things in common, and things that set us apart.
I really appreciate it when posters fill out their profiles enough so we get a clearer picture of them. Advice for a twenty-year-old might not be appropriate for an eighty-year-old.
I am 69. I cared for my husband (dementia) in our home, for 10 years. He died about a year ago. My mother is now in a nursing home, with dementia.