I'm about to re-enter into the world of the "nursing" skilled facility where a loved one could be placed. This loved one was in a facility where , while It wasn't exactly heaven, it sufficed. Decided to try the home environment; and found I am a 24/7 caregiver , which I knew would be the case, BUT not to an extreme. The former facility was not "liked" by siblings, nor the person living there. But I enjoyed both the employees and the food, and the activities. I was there a lot; that seems to be the ONLY way to keep an eye on a loved one. Does anyone else out there agree with me?
Fast forward 11 years after our father passed away, our mom is now in a memory care unit. Breakfast is at 9am...very flexible schedule. Activities at both facilities, etc. Mom does not need skilled nursing care and when dad was placed, we had no memory care facilities in our area.
Both places have their short comings but over all, the care received was good where dad was placed and excellent where mom is living. There is no facility that is going to provide the one on one care that a parent will get at home by a family member, but....by being involved with your loved ones care, being there 2-3 times a week spending time, checking on their care and being appreciative, thankful all goes a long way in keeping the caregivers aware of your presence. We make sure we thank them, we send flowers, bring in cookie platters for all the caregivers. Communication as always is very important and understanding that the caregiver is not just caring for you parent but for others as well so if you tell them you have an appointment at 9:30 am and you want your loved one ready to go....make sure you show up 30 minutes or more before the appointment because unexpected issues can happen that prevents the caregivers from having your parent all sparkling ready. You may have to brush their hair and get their shoes on or even change their shirt after breakfast. Yes being there and having your presence noted that you are there often, helps because they then know you care.
The nursing home my mother is in seems a very good fit for her. She is well cared for, goes to lots of activities, loves the food, and her daughters visit nearly every day. She is content.