I was taking care of my mother for almost five years and she passed away end of 2018. It seemed it was getting easier a couple months ago.
But recently I've been dreaming of her every other day and wake up lost. I started to cry over missing her all over again. I don't know how to get through this. Any advice would help? I've talk to a counselor but its not helping.
I am here if you need to talk/vent. I understand your pain. I really do. You are not alone.
I've suffered lots of lonely holidays since my divorce 8yrs ago,
& I dont want you to do that. It's only Sept, but have a plan so you don't end up like me.
Do you think mom would be helpful if you shared these fears with her? If she can still understand, that is
No idea what I'm angry about, just so tense & miserable... which isn't my norm.
I heard that's part of grieving, but I don't understand that.
So if you start to feel angry after your sorrow passes, I guess it's just one of the stages we may go through. Just sayin'.
In grief-world, everything is normal.
Anger. Blankness. Silliness. Sadness. Mania. Defeat. Despair. Peace. Agitation. Detachment. Clarity.
Spin the wheel. It’s all normal.
And as so so many have said, there’s no timetable.
(((hugs)))
Know this: You will be fine...because you ALREADY are!
Many people say that exercize will lift your spirits, (though it's hard to get started when you feel low.
If you have enough money, get a trainer (temporarily), to get you started. Your mom would want you to take good care of yourself.💟 Every small step is going to help u get momentum, so keep going!
What has helped me is looking at photos of past, happier times. I miss mom a lot, but after her long life, she was 93, at least nothing bad can get her now. I try to think of vacations we took and times she enjoyed her life. You took care of your mom a long time, you were a good care giver to her. Think about what she would want for you for taking such good care of her. My mom told me many times on her deathbed that she wanted me to do things and be happy for all the good care I gave her.
That's a lovely memory & you're very fortunate! (We don't all have that good ending). Peace 2us all.
It won' tbe Easy for awhile But Keep Busy and try and Focus on you. It is hard to move on when you have been this Angel who was there for her.
(I'm in that line too)😱.
Please forgive yourself for saying those things to ur mother. It's only human to have regrets, but let God forgive u. We are all in need of God's mercy, & we cannot earn it... it's only given as a free gift. 💟
You can write about the people who are disappointing you if you want to and explore in writing how you are feeling useless and depressed.
Sharing your feelings with others in a support group or on a forum like this one is a big help, but there may be lots of hours of the day when you need something more. Don't be surprised if you cannot concentrate on "normal" activities or if you have no patience when things are not going smoothly. It's difficult and uncomfortable, but it's normal. The intensity of your despair will soften over time.
Don't berate yourself for still feeling.so sad. When our mothers die, we often lose the one best supporter we ever had; the one person who would always stick up for us when things were tough.
There is no "should" on the grieving process. Feel the emotions as often and as long as you need to. As time goes by, memories will begin to bring more smiles and fewer tears.
After my father passed 7.5 years after mom, I never saw her again.
I wouldn't worry about it - my father said he'd see my mother standing at the foot of his bed quite frequently and he wished she would talk to him, she at least always told me she wanted to go shopping.
I wondered about my DH after he passed last year - but not a single visit in my dreams.
Crying is therapeutic, so I wouldn't worry about that either. Perhaps you have some things you never told your Mom - try doing that when you're awake. You can go to the cemetery like I did with my mother, or just talk to her. I asked my mother why she never told me things I needed to know to help my father. And I even asked her why she thought it best to stop all medications 6 months earlier but refused to allow me to take her to the doctor to find out if she needed them all. I just talked to her that one day at the cemetery and felt better about it. I miss her and Suzi coming to make me take them shopping, lol.
Next time your mother comes to you, give her an extra hug from me. You don't need a therapist, you just need to relax and accept that sometimes we do get visitations from the other side.
When my Gram died, my mom took a year to grieve her. Mom cared for Gram for 7 years in Mom's home. Crying and missing her are expected and a sign of love. Praying that your memories are sweet reminders instead of causing you pain.