Is assisted living considered 24/7 care?
Boy I love this site. What would I do without all your help. I have another question. Mom has dementia, finally determined today as likely Lewy Body, vascular, and strong underlying clinical depression left untreated, an after effect of child abuse. It has taken 6 months to get to this point and get letters of incapacitation. Mom is a pleasant woman, intelligent, with hallucinations and mild to moderate cognitive impairment. She has wandered a few times. Otherwise she takes care of herself physically and her home as well. I have now moved her in with me against her wishes. I am her guardian. My plan was Assisted Living where she could have an apartment, but would have to wear an alarm bracelet or anklet. Today the doctor said Assisted Living wasn't enough care for mom. That it wasn't 24/7 care, and that mom was not ready for memory care. The doctor was adamant. So I am confused. The facility I had picked out is secure, alarmed and has 24/7 nurses and they know moms issues and claim she's a fit for them. The doctor suggested mom continue to live with me in my home/business. I have an apartment on the third floor, mom stays on the first floor apartment. They are small and we can't stay together. Twenty three steps separate us. There are 8 doors and 2 alarms. I can install more as suggested, but I don't see this as ideal. Why not assisted living??
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We had a family friend who had dementia and hallucinations. They frightened him to the point that he ran into the street, fell and broke his hip. He was not able to recover. So, hallucinations are a risks to the person's safety as well.
Also, monitoring devices are fine, but, they don't prevent the person from getting lost in the first place, walking out into traffic or getting hurt by strangers. Do you feel that mom would be safe on a separate floor and that the alarms are foolproof?
You know though that you can ask other doctors as well as make your own decisions. What do YOU think?
I think I would interview other ALs just to see whether there's a consensus on what might be a best fit. I would think the staff at the facilities have a more practical, hands-on approach to what's necessary than a doctor, whose approach is more clinical and not as practical.
If they agree that AL would be a fit for your mother, go with the one you've chosen. It's your mother, your decision, with a doctor's recommendation if it meets your mother's needs, but not if it reflects an opinion not necessarily based on hands-on experience.
I've found that some doctors' first thought is "facility", whereas others are amused and admiring of my father's independence and insistence on staying in his own home. One even said "well, if you want to live to 100 and stay in your own home, this is what we'll do."
I think it depends on the doctor's approach and what he or she would do for a parent of his or hers.
And, of course, the doctor who thinks she should stay with you isn't doing any of the hands-on care!
Have you had an assessment done by the Area Agency on Aging in your area?
Or can the doctor suggest someone (covered by insurance) to do a professional assessment?
Once the regular AL observed my LO attempt to wander. (She wheeled herself into the parking lot and tried to get into a stranger's car.) That was it. They were not able to keep her and she had to have a constant caretaker with her, until we had her moved to a secure facility. Most AL's don't have the staff to assign one person to watch one patient one on one around the clock. And the doctor said it wasn't safe for someone who wanders to not have the protection of a Secure facility.
Have you had anyone else evaluate her needs?
In your case, it's not like you can be expected to be by mom's side 24/7 either so I can't imagine what this doc is thinking. Best of luck and lots of hugs as you navigate this transition!
My Mom's primary care physician, who had seen her for decades before she went into memory care, was NEVER able to agree with me that she needed 24/7 care in a facility and out of our home (my husband and I took care of her for 5 years). That decision for him was easy...just words and then, the next patient! He did not have to wake up every night because mom was falling on her way to the bathroom. He did not have to repeatedly answer her questions and talk her down from anxiety and confusion. He did not have to clean up the carpet each time after she could not get to the bathroom on time. He did not have to give up work in order to care for her emergencies and confusion. He did not have the same personal experience.
One day, he even said that I should drive Mom everyday to her volunteer/day care work, instead of the two afternoons she was doing, as it made her happy. That did it for me! I could not believe my ears! HE did not have to take time off his work to do that. THAT day, I realized that this doctor never looked at all the time and energy which I had already offered into her care. THAT day, I realized her doctor was not considering me at all, but was mostly worried about not being the responsible party who sent her to a place she may not joyfully want to be at. (Remember that doctors are human too and have their own issues.) THAT day, a veil lifted. I made up my mind to resolve this issue on my own. I decided to accept making the lonely and the hard decision myself of placing mom in a home. I realized that had to be okay with that responsibility in my own heart, accept the future emotional consequences of it, and go directly to the facility to have her memory and care level appraised.
Well, she was diagnosed as mid-to-advanced level of Alzheimer and additionally had vascular dementia. Although she was not yet 'wondering' and was still physically vital, the facility's doctor assessed that she was ready to enter into memory care!
This situation made me realize that I had to risk making a very lonely decision on my own, moving beyond my own fear of placing mom away from home, from us, for her best care...a care which I could not provide anymore.
I wish you all the best!
This sounds like a Memory Care facility (a type of Assisted Living) and would likely be a good fit based on your description. Make sure they give you complete details of the add-on costs that usually are charged.
You need to make a decision within your culture. You need to consider what resources are available to you. You need to consider your skills and expectations. You need to consider the physical layout of your own building.
With no disrespect to the doctor's culture, you are free to listen to his medical advice and to fit that into your own cultural background.