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Resident knows the difference between the two always pick bed bath over shower. Nurses has even asked yet still No for shower. Administrations even asked to be showered still answer is No. Yet to please family member, have CNA shower said resident against their will anyways cause family member always complaining about something.

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My dad fought his showers in the ALF. He was scared. They stopped the showers and do a good wipe down from time to time. Dad never smells. We do have the visiting hair dresser wash his hair in her on site salon a few times a month. And we change his clothes every day.
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Reply to Skelly1230
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As long as they do not stink and have no sores then bed bath should be fine.
The patient may be difficult to move or they may be in pain.
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Reply to Ohwow323
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When showering got too difficult for my mom, I started using Scrubzz. They lather up very well and I clean her while she is sitting on the commode. It works quite well.
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Reply to Steinr1
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Iknowmyworth,

Are you a care worker at the facility in question?
If so, tread lightly in order to keep your job and not make any enemies at work.
However, if you are concerned, can you call elderly social services (or the equivalent in your country) and give information anonymously?

An elderly person's preferences should be taken into account and respected. The only time that this wouldn't be the case is if the elderly person is covered in a noxious substance, such as excrement, to the extent that a bed bath would be insufficient and the person's health is at risk.

It is unlikely that's the case here, as the elderly person is aware enough to make a decision about their personal hygiene care.
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Reply to MiaMoor
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Iknowmyworth: Perhaps you'll have to get a social worker involved.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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MiaMoor Jul 6, 2024
I completely agree.
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No one should be forced to shower if they are living alone. If they are living in a care facility and there are other people in residence, then yes. Yes, they should be forced to shower or at least to be washed up.

The other people living in the facility and the roommates of these people should not have to live with the disgusting stink of someone who won't wash or wear clean clothes. So, yes they should be forced to shower or at least wash us and wear clean clothes.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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I am surprised by the number of people who think that it is both necessary and legal to force an elderly person to have a shower. I'm in the UK, but I bet that laws regarding autonomy and dignity would be the same in America and other countries as they are here

The elderly person has expressed a preference for a bed-bath, which is offered at the facility where they are being looked after. That should be respected, as it is generally sufficient for their health and wellbeing.
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Reply to MiaMoor
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BurntCaregiver Jul 5, 2024
A bedbath is fine instead of a shower. So long as the person is getting washed up and is clean.
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I believe a staff person cannot (legally or otherwise) force a resident to do anything.
Talk to the administrator.
Call APS (Adult Protective Services)

Gena / Touch Matters
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MargaretMcKen Jul 6, 2024
The facility can 'force' the resident to move out.
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I don't think it is abuse but a necessity. Perhaps getting a social worker to talk with the resident may help. It is very important to be cleaned, even a with a wet washcloth and using lotions.
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Reply to Patathome01
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MiaMoor Jul 5, 2024
Getting washed is a necessity, such as a bed bath which is what the resident has requested. However, having a shower isn't necessary, which is what the resident's family member is insisting on.
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My husband only takes a shower once a week, on Sunday afternoon. I lay his clean clothes out in the morning. I mention several times during the day that is shower day and show him. Sometimes he resists. I tell him no dinner until after his shower. I just start taking his clothes off starting with his socks. For now, he always gives in. 😁
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Reply to Atlasshrugged
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Maybe a legal care plan on their records to record their preference/what needs to be done. They cant force them to do something they don't want to, they need to explore ways to help them feel in control, support their independence, and enable them to be involved. Sounds illegal to me. I would seek legal advice. I am sure there must be something to force them to accept certain care issues. Sounds like they just cant be bothered.
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Reply to Jenny10
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What would be abuse is NOT doing what is necessary to keep the resident clean and free of infection. If the best way to do that is a shower, then the resident gets showered whether they like it or not. The staff can only allow so many "no" answers to showering until they MUST do it, whether the resident wants it or not.
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Reply to mommabeans
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MiaMoor Jul 5, 2024
A bed bath will meet the hygiene needs of a person who isn't particularly active.
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No, it's not abuse. It's called not stinking to high heaven in order to keep ALL the residents comfortable. Should the desires of one outweigh the comfort of all? I think not. A shower is not the end of the world, so tell this "resident" to take one for the team.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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MiaMoor Jul 5, 2024
My mum doesn't like showers; she feels unsafe and it's uncomfortable for her, bordering on painful. She has a wash every day and doesn't smell.
The resident chooses to have a bed bath - that's good enough.
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I have a feeling the poster is the resident?
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Reply to pamzimmrrt
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Abuse VS Neglect. It gets tricky..

People refuse showers, then refuse bedbaths, refuse repositioning, then refuse having soiled continence products changed.

Allowing a person in your care to stay immobile, unwashed & soiled is neglectful. Yet..
You need concent to proceed.

'Duty of Care VS Dignity of Choice' this conundrum is called.

Sorry I have no easy answer for you. It can use the best skills of the CNAs to offer choices & negotiate. Maybe a little trickery too.
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Reply to Beatty
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BurntCaregiver Jul 5, 2024
First of all when a person gets to the point where they refuse to be washed, have their clothes changed, or put on a clean diaper they usually have dementia pretty bad. So it really is not a case of preserving their dignity because really at that point they really don't have any.

It becomes about duty and care. There were many times over the 25 years I was a caregiver where I literally had to force a client into the shower and if not an actual shower, then at least a sponge bath with a clean diaper and clean clothes.

Sometimes a little intimidation was necessary. Believe me, a person recovers a lot easier from a little intimidation then they do from incontinence sores, skin infections, or UTI's.

When you have the consent of whoever is making the decisions for the person, do what you need to do.

I will not leave a person sitting in their own mess or stinking from not washing and wearing filthy clothes. More than a few times where I had 'stubborn' care clients with dementia where I literally had to shove their hand down their diaper and pull up a fistful of sh*t and put it right under their noses to get them compliant with being washed up and changed.

It's all about the caregiver's judgment and being able to triage needs. Getting the soiled diaper changed and some degree of washing up is the higher priority than making a person get up.
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I looked up RP in the site – someone else didn’t know what it meant – and the guess was Responsible Person. It’s not a legal term, and someone saying “I am the RP” probably means absolutely zip. Perhaps you decide that you are the M(ore) RP? If the self-designated RP is "always complaining about something", you probably need to throw your own weight around too.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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What level of care is the resident it?

What's the reason for them not wanting to take an actual shower? Does the resident have dementia?

What state is this facility in?
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