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What has your husband's being admitted to a nursing home got to do with your wanting (or not really wanting, I don't know) a divorce?
Ah - I see from your reply to an earlier comment that your concerns are financial. I don't mean to sound sniffy about that, I see nothing wrong with being practical about finances. [I agree that it is a wretchedly cynical world when money forces some couples apart, but that's a bigger, societal issue.]
I also see from your profile that you had a lot to struggle with even before, though; and you must feel as if you've been through the wringer.
Wouldn't it be a good idea to give yourself a little while to adjust, now that a large part of the burden has been taken off your shoulders, and see how you feel then? And meanwhile, consult a reputable attorney or similar professional who can help you figure out the relevant numbers and options.
Remember, not everyone is aware how Medicaid works. If more people understood it, some would have done things different. I think when setting up ur retirement, there should be a course u can take were it explains how Medicaid works and the pitfalls if you don't think before you give money away. What I learned, I learned from this site.
Saying that, maybe this person feels divorce is her only option to keep from being poor. Some people have gone thru their money before they realize they didn't have to as a Community Spouse.
From what I have observed, an attorney may very well advise you to divorce based on the finances only. However, the "community spouse" rule can protect your own finances, so look into it.
Note: I have a problem with a society, a culture, or any government agency, which instead of supporting marriage, leaves divorce as the most viable option.
I've seen a question like this only a few times here and each time it strikes me as a bit cruel for I wonder on what grounds do you plan to divorce him? Based on the symptoms of his health problems that are sending him to the nursing home? That's not a basis for divorce. What ever happened to "in sickness and divorce." Don't say that I don't understand for I've stood by my wife with her personality disorder mental problems she was first diagnosed in 1998.
Even if you somehow manage to get a divorce, half of everything is still his.
Iswean I have read on this forum that the community spouse is not left impoverished when the spouse needs Medicaid to pay for long term care. A regular poster (Igloo)who has a great deal of experience with Medicaid always suggests a NAELA or CELA certified elder law attorney to help with the application for Medicaid to protect the community spouse (you). Is your husband in the NH through Medicaid or on private pay? Did you help him or does he have a POA handling his affairs? Is he there for rehab only or to stay? It’s difficult for us to advise you more specifically without more information. Unless you want to leave him and marry another, it’s difficult to know how it would help you.
If your husband enters LTC you become the Community spouse. As such, your assets will be looked at and split between you. You then spend down his portion and apply for Medicaid when its gone. The Community spouse will not be made impoverished. Of course, every state is different as is every situation. I would find a Medicaid versed lawyer and see what your rights are. You will be allowed to remain in the house and have a car. Once you know how u would stand then u can look into divorce if u think that would be the better choice.
Not all states need grounds for divorce. Most are irreconcilable differences. No reason needed.
This would bring up the question of why. Because the nursing home cost would nibble away at that nest egg? Place hubby on Mediacid so government, the people, pay for his care?
Is hubby competent? If not no divorce won't help. If competent he would still get half of the assets and maybe even more.
Your best bet is to consult with an elder law attorney to plan for Medicaid. Medicaid allows the exemption of the home and one car from assets. One half of everything else is for his care. You could get with that attorney to plan for Medicaid and legally protect yourself as much as possible.
And don't start withdrawing money it will only come back to haunt you. Medicaid will recover that money or penalize hubby and not cover him for a period of time.
I mean.....it all depends......but generally no, going in to a nursing home isn’t grounds for a divorce. It would explain why you are even considering a divorce....
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
What has your husband's being admitted to a nursing home got to do with your wanting (or not really wanting, I don't know) a divorce?
Ah - I see from your reply to an earlier comment that your concerns are financial. I don't mean to sound sniffy about that, I see nothing wrong with being practical about finances. [I agree that it is a wretchedly cynical world when money forces some couples apart, but that's a bigger, societal issue.]
I also see from your profile that you had a lot to struggle with even before, though; and you must feel as if you've been through the wringer.
Wouldn't it be a good idea to give yourself a little while to adjust, now that a large part of the burden has been taken off your shoulders, and see how you feel then? And meanwhile, consult a reputable attorney or similar professional who can help you figure out the relevant numbers and options.
Saying that, maybe this person feels divorce is her only option to keep from being poor. Some people have gone thru their money before they realize they didn't have to as a Community Spouse.
However, the "community spouse" rule can protect your own finances, so look into it.
Note: I have a problem with a society, a culture, or any government agency, which instead of supporting marriage, leaves divorce as the most viable option.
Please do not misunderstand what I said.
I would not advise divorce, even for financial reasons.
An attorney might, but I am against this.
That is what I thought I said.
"However" means, instead of divorce, look into the "community spouse rule"
described on this forum, so many times.
As others had mentioned, you need to see an "Elder Law Attorney" to see what advice he/she would give.
Your relationship will change now that he is in a nursing home.
Some of the pressures on you may decrease. Or, just be different.
Emotionally you must have been going through the hardest time in your marriage.
Are you worried about the finances, or other things?
Even if you somehow manage to get a divorce, half of everything is still his.
Or, were you using a play on words: "In sickness and in divorce"??
I am a christian who believes in "in sickness and in health" as a commitment.
I have read on this forum that the community spouse is not left impoverished when the spouse needs Medicaid to pay for long term care.
A regular poster (Igloo)who has a great deal of experience with Medicaid always suggests a NAELA or CELA certified elder law attorney to help with the application for Medicaid to protect the community spouse (you).
Is your husband in the NH through Medicaid or on private pay? Did you help him or does he have a POA handling his affairs? Is he there for rehab only or to stay? It’s difficult for us to advise you more specifically without more information.
Unless you want to leave him and marry another, it’s difficult to know how it would help you.
Once you know how u would stand then u can look into divorce if u think that would be the better choice.
This would bring up the question of why. Because the nursing home cost would nibble away at that nest egg? Place hubby on Mediacid so government, the people, pay for his care?
Is hubby competent? If not no divorce won't help. If competent he would still get half of the assets and maybe even more.
Your best bet is to consult with an elder law attorney to plan for Medicaid. Medicaid allows the exemption of the home and one car from assets. One half of everything else is for his care. You could get with that attorney to plan for Medicaid and legally protect yourself as much as possible.
And don't start withdrawing money it will only come back to haunt you. Medicaid will recover that money or penalize hubby and not cover him for a period of time.