My 83 year old spouse has been diagnosed with dementia for a year now although he has been progressively going downhill for 4 yrs. He has lost all zest for life, not interested in gardening or travel which he loved previously. In the last 6 months he sleeps all night and until 4 or 5 in the afternoon. The doctor says let him sleep. But is this just a normal progression of the disease? And how do I handle the loneliness?
I’m sure if it could be helped, his doctor would prescribe meds for him. I wonder if he’s depressed by what’s happening to him? If he’s in a deep sleep and you woke him up, he would have a hard time with it.
How do you deal? Unfortunately for us, we’re from the eras when wives had no lives independent of their husbands. We relied on them for entertainment and companionship. When they’re incapacitated, so are we. My husband is bedridden and its almost impossible to get him up and out, so sadly, we don’t try. I’m on my own for all holidays and get-together. I go alone. I call myself a “pseudo-widow”. It’s difficult now with my grands in school and one moving 45 minutes away soon, but I’ve devoted myself to them. If your husband is ok alone for a while, try volunteering for an organization meaningful to you. Getting out and among people is the biggest help.
I know that when my LO was first diagnosed with dementia at age 62, she was sleeping most all day and night. She was evaluated and treated for anxiety and depression. She cried a lot when she was awake. The daily meds really helped a lot and she started staying awake all day. Her depression left and her anxiety was greatly reduced. She has had a few good years of being able to get around in her wheelchair, engage in activities, enjoy visits, etc. since that time, so, I'm glad we treated her. Now she takes a short nap in the afternoon. I'd discuss it with his doctor and explore options.
Towards the end of my Husbands life he was sleeping probably 20 to 23 hours a day.
Do you have Hospice in to help you? They were a great help to me. The CNA that came 3 times a week helped me shower him, the last week she did bed baths. I got the supplies and equipment I needed. Also with Hospice you can get a volunteer that will come in so you can get out or you can sit and talk to the volunteer so you can get some socialization.
Do you belong to a support group? They can be very helpful.
Maybe try waking him up. You’d have to be relentless like the nurse, but it might work.
Why never alone. You can do it. Get in a support group that shares their lives you can relate to. We're all in the same boat or have been. Read, read &read about alz so you will be prepared. Creating Moments of Joy, bk, online Teepa Snow, Understanding the Dementia Experience. We are here to hear you. God Bless