He has said two different things about this "linkage." 1. That dad gets interest this way. 2. That it's easier for him. Something seems a bit fishey like someone is gaining from this arrangement. Could it be interest of dad's money? Could it be ease of access. We ask because we've never gotten transparency regarding this account like it's none of our business because he has POA.
Like you, the one with POA in our family refuses to show a spreadsheet as he said it is none of our business. We've seen them spend Mom's money irresponsibly. It's incredibly frustrating - but I've surrendered that to the Lord who knows all things.
We are extremely poor because of our situation and from the start of me helping her manage her funds, we've more or less pooled our resources in order to make ends meet.
I don't steal from her, even if there were anything to steal. I do give to her and she gives to me and even though she is no longer in any mental shape to have input, I just keep doing it like we always did...kind of like we are married or something. We just both put in and she gets all of what she needs and I get most of what I need...if I don't, my bf gives me a donation. Sometimes asked for and sometimes not. But it works out.
When I inherited money (twice) from previous patients I'd had back when nursing, I put the money in our joint account and spent most of it on her and a little bit on me. The second time was a very generous gift and came in the nick of time...I was headed for the breadline when I got the news. She didn't have any money or assets besides her SS income and the house we live in when I move in, and I had disposable jobs until I could no longer leave her safely at home alone for the 4 to 8 hours required by most jobs. Somehow we've always made it...I don't think we'd either one of us had made it if I had kept things separate and delineated.
I'm not worried about it but neither do I provide spread sheets or account to the rest of the family about where 'our' money goes. I don't have that kind of time. If someone questions me about it, I will invite them to create a monthly budget given our income and bills and see what they come up with. If they still believe there is anything suspicious going on, then all I can do is show them where the local police station is and wish them luck with their inquiries.
That's just me, though. Or rather, us.