My mother has watched many of her grandchildren throughout the years and now wants to watch the youngest great-grandchild who is only a few months old. When told no, she cries and gets upset until her mother gives in. This is extremely upsetting to some of us. She is now watching the infant. Is this even legal?
What a question to ask. "Is it legal for my mother who has extreme (at times) signs of dementia care for an infant?"
I truly hope you are a troll and only asking such an asinine question to get a rise out of anyone who sees it.
If you're not a troll but an actual person who truly wants to know then I'll tell you.
No. It is not legal to let an elderly person with extreme (at times) dementia care for an infant. A person like this cannot care for themselves. It is also not legal to let a five-year-old drive a car (just in case this question comes up and it very well could if you're asking this one). This is child abuse and neglect. It is also risk of injury to a minor and could be reckless endangerment too. These are not only illegal, they are often felony crimes. Parents lose custody of their children for crimes like these. So yes, it is illegal.
I'm not going to tell you off for the fact that you would even ask such a question. For the sake of that poor infant, PLEASE stop letting your demented mother care for it.
Ignore her crying and tantrums. Tell her that no one cares about her crying and tantrums, she is not baby-sitting. Do whatever you have to do to get that baby out of her care. For God's sake please have a word with that baby's mother today. If she refuses to stop letting dementia grandma babysit, the next time the baby is left with her, send the police to your mother's house.
Get your mother a doll. They don't bleed or die if they get injured.
Go on eBay and buy grandma a realistic looking baby doll to carry around and 'feed' and wrap in a blanket. When it comes to real live, breathing children, absolutely NO WAY should an elder with dementia be allowed to care for him or her. It's not safe, and everyone knows that.
Who cares about 'legal'? It's the same thing with demented elders driving cars. Who cares about 'having the DMV take away their drivers' license.' I advocate for disabling the car so they CANNOT drive it. That ends the discussion in its tracks.
Personally, I question any mother who would leave there child in any situation where there is even a remote chance of unintentional harm or injury. I think this is a situation where something serious could happen and best dealt with now.
I bet others didn't understand why you didn't let your own Mom babysit.. but I get it. (I also had to say no to family members).
Recently, my daughter's FIL who is unstable mentally, flew in from where he lives with his demented elderly father. He demanded to be allowed to take his (and our) 5 year old granddaughter for the day on her 5th birthday, alone. We offered to come along to help, but he saw this, in his paranoia, as us trying to supervise him. Where was he going to park the 5 year old (who has autism) while he toilted his dad?
Daughter and son in law said no. He threatened to call CPS (?), screamed, abused and further tantrummed (he's still accusing my daughter of all manner of vile things) which just reinforced their conviction that this was the correct decision.
Please make sure she is properly supervised.
Take the baby to visit. Make sure she knows it's a visit. This is a real living breathing baby. It's not pretend or make-believe. They should not encourage grandma's delusions by supervising her babysitting.
Poor poor baby. Who is running the show?
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