Is it legal to establish a good relationship with a client?

I had to find carefiff CD era for my dad on short notice, and they came with good references. After a while one caregiver got pretty chummy and flirty. This made me very uncomfortable, and I kept his wallet and checkbooks with me. She wanted to take him on outings and liked to buy things. I said no to outings- that is my job. And I told her I could not reimburse her for the things she bought unless I asked her to buy them. She became passive aggressive with me and finally quit. She was always kind to my dad and had some nursing skills but her pushy attitude was hard to take.
please consider who hired you and what extent of care they want for their LO. Don’t jeopardize your position nor the referrals you can get. Getting close to clients can be a red flag to the family. There are thieves and dishonest people in your profession, just like in other professions, and while you have only good intentions, the family may not see it your way.

The question stated and the issue discussed are different. Yes, of course, care providers want to establish a 'good' relationship. This is a very separate issue with a care provider giving out their personal phone number for personal communications.

INITIALLY, a caregiver needs to immediately contact the supervisor of the agency that employs them when considering these situations and behaviors. A caregiver must abide by their direction. Agencies follow strict laws in providing services to individuals. Agency staff are well trained and experienced to handle these kinds of situations. If you do not want to abide by their legally required working conditions, end your contractual relationship with that agency. You likely would not be able to see your client once you leave the agency for a (long) period of time.

* It is absolutely inappropriate for a caregiver to give out their personal contact information to a client for several reasons:

(1) As stated, you work and are paid by an agency. You must follow their contractual relationship with you, the care provider;

(2) Establishing a 'good' relationship with a client means setting clear boundaries with a client;

(3) Many clients, due to being vulnerable, lonely, and alone, confuse 'caregiver' with 'friend' [in their minds, the relationship changes as their feelings for YOU changes] as when a care provider establishes a supportive one-on-one relationship, it often FEELS like a friendship to the client. They may not have felt 'loved' or cared about in years as a caregiver cares for them now. It is akin to a therapist-client relationship where the client transfers feelings on to their therapist due to their professional support;

(4) It is necessary to consider that elder clients are in various stages of ongoing, changing challenges: cognitively, physically, emotionally and psychologically. They are frightened of the unknown and it is the human condition to want to attach to those who provide care and attention. This is where boundary setting comes in and this is YOUR responsibility.

I work as an independent care provider/manager with clients and their families in a wide range of services. It is critical that I am mindful to create a caring, trusting relationship with a client. This is my job and professional responsibility. At least 50% of my clients attach themselves to me, thinking that we have become 'friends'. They may cognitively be unable to separate their feelings between the care I provide and a social relationship. IT IS imperative that I set boundaries and perform in a professional matter. It feels very sad when a person with dementia doesn't understand my role and talks to me as if we are friends, even though she is paying me to ... (for) watching every second that she is safe, doesn't fall, has hygiene needs taken care of, and be 'on' every moment I am with her. This is the work. It is not a relaxed social event (for me) although it may feel that way to the client.

I have to check myself [you certainly are not alone] as I genuinely care for my clients (and adore some of them). Often, caregiver work creates this quality of closeness and bond.

It is important to remember how the initial relationship happened, i.e., you were hired as a care provider and did not meet this person as a potential 'friend' in a social arena or circumstance. It may feel 'mean' or 'cruel' to set limits although it is the highest respect you can show to an elder you work with to do so.

As mentioned here, a caregiver giving out their personal phone number to a client MAY work out in some circumstances. This doesn't mean it is the right course of action for a professional caregiver to do. Tighest respect you can show is to create and maintain the professional boundaries necessary to be as effective in the work you provide as possible.

Lastly, discuss your concerns and feelings for your client(s) with your friends, or a social worker, or a therapist. We all need

While it is wonderful that you get along the bottom line is that this person is a client, an employer, and as wonderful as your bond is you should not forget that fact. As a paid caregiver you will have many clients and they will come and go as their needs or situation change or yours do, that is the nature of the relationship - Keeping a professional distance is better for both of you - you do not want this person calling you for help outside of paid hours.

It's an absolute no-no, certainly as long as the professional relationship exists. Your agency has legal responsibilities for what you do. There must be no contact of which the agency is not aware and which it has not authorised.

I sympathise in that this sometimes makes me very sad. There must be a dozen clients I'd love to hear news of, visit in hospital, drop in to see on my way home and check they're okay, or even just say goodbye to when our service hands them over to a permanent provider. But there it is. Except when I am rostered to work with a client, that person's life is officially none of my business and I'm obliged to disregard any information - right down to name, address, phone number, date of birth - that I have been given for work purposes.

You don't have to use much imagination to see how easily such friendships could be exploited, is the why of it. Allowing them would leave the door wide open for abusers.

It is legal, but I don't think a good idea.  She may call you at all hours.

Is she pressing for your personal phone number? If you don’t feel comfortable with telling her NO outright , you can politely say you’re sorry but you’re forbidden from doing so due to company policy. You could be terminated and you can’t afford to lose your job, as much as you enjoy your time with her. How could she be upset with you over this response? She would likely think even more highly of you for treating your job and employer seriously and with respect.

Our CNA was very professional, however, 4 years after my husband’s passing we are still friends. I never hired her outside her agency. She was there for us at a very difficult time—always very kind and patient as my husband descended into Alzheimer’s.

You you could try telling her this:

Because of your professional relationship, your company doesn't allow personal interaction while off the job...

...however, you feel that the two of you do enjoy a very special connection and one day, should it come to pass that you no longer work for her...

...that you would be more than happy, should she want to continue, to share your personal information and remain friends.

That covers "the now" and "the future" and lets her know that you would not abandon her.

Please do NOT give your phone number to ANY client. Here are some reasons why. You have been hired by an agency. YOU are THEIR employee. So... anytime you contact this client, which is YOUR client, not personal friend, you are ON THE JOB and legally your employer and YOU should be paid. This is how you came to know this client in the first place. Also... I have been in this business for 25+ years, home health, and this is what is usually "up" with these clients when they ask for your phone number. They ask for your phone number because they want to hire you out right WITHOUT YOUR AGENCY BEING INVOLVED. They will tell you, "I won't tell your agency that you are here". And this is unethical on their part and if you go along with this, you are being unethical also. Clients try this sort of thing all the time claiming that "I love you" but please do NOT fall for that. Some do really care about their caregivers and do honestly want to become friends but sad to say, a great majority of the time I have found this not to be true. They have tried to get my phone number time and time again by telling me they love me and they would just love to have me come over more and more and when I tell them, 'Well... I can help you call the office and schedule more hours if you like" and they say, "Oh no... no...we don't need to get them involved. You can come and we don't need to call them. I will pay you" and this woman is famous for NOT paying her bills. She is known for lying all the time so please NO... do NOT do this. Sorry to say... many of these patients will say anything to save money. You could get in trouble not only with your agency but the state as well if you are found out and they report you to the state. While you are "visiting" your patient on unscheduled time with your agency, your agency could show up unannounced. And also beware..... they want you to also do work that is NOT ALLOWED by the agency? Many have gotten rid of their house keepers and then expect the caregiver to not only take care of two people... their pets but clean the whole house... some want yard work, mowing and pulling of weeds. Please watch out when a client asks for your phone number.. Usually "up to no good" sorry to say.

My understanding is that home workers are bound by their employee contracts and that ALL agency’s enforce boundaries, which should be clearly stated in your contract and in the elderly persons contract. NO working off the books, NO exchange of personal numbers. You can care about someone WITHOUT violating boundaries. I am an LISW with 40plus years of experience. I have cared about hundreds of clients, without violating boundaries. I was horrified at my moms caring worker who was kindly doing extra work for mom, who insisted on paying her, and who was borrowing $. I eventually reported her. Since learned that most of the agency people coming to the house have offered to buy my moms car. This is not okay!