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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My siblings live out of state and do not help with the caregiving at all. Mom has income and has lived with me for over a year. Out of no where my brother is asking me about Mom's finances and wants to know how much she gives me each month.
melcur, who is the financial Power of Attorney for your Mom? If it is your brother, then he does have a right to ask about Mom's finances. He needs to keep track of her expenses.
From what you've said, the answer is a hard no. Not his business. You have POA, you're doing all the work. If he wants to trade places with you, invite him to do just that.
Just because someone asks you a question doesn’t mean that you have to answer it. You can answer with, ‘That’s none of your concern.’ He doesn’t have to know the dollar amount that your mom is paying.
Or you can ask him why he is inquiring about what she is paying? There are additional expenses if someone moves into our home. Surely, he knows this. It seems like he is just being nosy.
Why do you want to know Brother? Are you worried that Mom is not paying a fair rent amount? That either one of us is being exploited by the other?
Politely said of course.. The exact dollar amount doesn't concern you...but I'm charging a fair amount (if you are of course!). An amount reasonable to charge family: more than zero of course but less than market rate.
None of their beeswax. I only got 500/mo from my mother as I knew she was saving for the inevitable anyway so it would wash out one way or the other (and that was also her average expenses in independent living minus food, I was fPOA, dPOA, executor, etc). And 500 was room, board, 24/7 care. As a carer is something like 36$/hr, brother can blow it out of his ear. Politely of course and please have/get durable POA if family is going to be crappy about it. <3
Your mother pays rent each month. I trust she is also paying you for caregiving and that you've set up these payments properly after taking advice from an Elder Law attorney.
AND that mom has all her end of life documents in order.
I assume that your brother believes that mother should be afforded the dignity of paying her own way.
Are you POA? If not, it is a great mistake not to get that done at this point. Does your Mom have dementia? If she does it is too late to do a POA and it is too late for her to make an agreement with you regarding payment. If you are receiving pay to take care of your mother your brother can file with APS to accuse you of elder abuse and of taking your Mom's money. If you are living with and caring for your mother and she wishes to pay you for said care you would be better to have a "shared expenses" agreement drawn up with an elder care attorney rather than her paying you. If she pays you you have to declare this as income with the IRS. So all of this is to say if you have a greedy and angry and accusatory sibling causing trouble you need FOR YOUR OWN SAKE to have your T's crossed and your I's dotted. He can come at you with an attorney and he can cause trouble. He can try to get guardianship of your Mom and etc. Take care of things and make certain they are legally done. And best of luck to you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Just because someone asks you a question doesn’t mean that you have to answer it. You can answer with, ‘That’s none of your concern.’ He doesn’t have to know the dollar amount that your mom is paying.
Or you can ask him why he is inquiring about what she is paying? There are additional expenses if someone moves into our home. Surely, he knows this. It seems like he is just being nosy.
Are you worried that Mom is not paying a fair rent amount? That either one of us is being exploited by the other?
Politely said of course.. The exact dollar amount doesn't concern you...but I'm charging a fair amount (if you are of course!). An amount reasonable to charge family: more than zero of course but less than market rate.
Thanks for your concern Brother.
Your mother pays rent each month. I trust she is also paying you for caregiving and that you've set up these payments properly after taking advice from an Elder Law attorney.
AND that mom has all her end of life documents in order.
I assume that your brother believes that mother should be afforded the dignity of paying her own way.
Does your Mom have dementia? If she does it is too late to do a POA and it is too late for her to make an agreement with you regarding payment.
If you are receiving pay to take care of your mother your brother can file with APS to accuse you of elder abuse and of taking your Mom's money.
If you are living with and caring for your mother and she wishes to pay you for said care you would be better to have a "shared expenses" agreement drawn up with an elder care attorney rather than her paying you. If she pays you you have to declare this as income with the IRS.
So all of this is to say if you have a greedy and angry and accusatory sibling causing trouble you need FOR YOUR OWN SAKE to have your T's crossed and your I's dotted. He can come at you with an attorney and he can cause trouble. He can try to get guardianship of your Mom and etc.
Take care of things and make certain they are legally done. And best of luck to you.
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