I went to visit my brother and my mom who live together 700 miles away from me in another state. The whole time I was there, all my mom wanted to do was sleep, day and night. I asked my brother if she's always like this and he said yes. But she wasn't like that the last time I visited which was about 6 months ago. She has no known medical issues, but she won't go see a doctor, and my brother won't push for her to go. He says "she's 79 years old, it's just old age, leave her alone." Is he right?
If mom has had a sudden change in her habits like this, she should definitely be taken to the doctor by your brother. Of course, he can't force her to go, but he should strongly urge a visit to her PCP since he lives with her. That's my advice. And of course she 'has no known medical issues' since she won't go to the doctor to know what issues are going on in the first place!
Best of luck getting through to your brother.
when she is sleeping there is less pain and she is more comfortable. If I get her up for a doctors appt or to visit family it is too much for her and she will really sleep a lot the next few days. It’s just normal. Everyone is different.
Unfortunately you can't make your mom go to the doctor if she doesn't want to, but since it's your brother that lives with her, he should at least encourage her to make an appointment with her GP, to try and figure out what exactly is going on.
If your Mom won't go to see a doctor, time to pull out the "therapeutic fibs" such as saying to keep her Medicare she needs to have a physical once a year. Some people have a fear of the unknown, so they keep putting off going to see a doctor.
Me, at 76 have an aversion to sleep, up at 7am, down around 11pm, sleep is not my friend, no napping, I keep moving all day, don't want to miss anything! Ha!
I would think that a doctors visit would be in order.
" was not like that six months ago" may clearly be a sign that she does need to be medically, emotionally, psychologically assessed for any needs.
Be sure who the POA is assigned to.
Ask your mother what she wants, needs etc ( this may need to occur w/ o your brother present). You will need to decide.
He and/ or your mother may be in denial about her changes and practicing avoidance is easier for one or both of them. This does not mean that it should be allowed to continue for your mother's safety and we'll being. And further for your peace of mind.
Have your mother medically assessed from all perspectives.
Practice your self care also. And having peace of mind about your mother is one way of caring for yourself.
Best regards
Use the "Golden Rule" and treat her the way you would want to be treated. At least in Assisted Living, they will be with her and help her live (not sleep) the rest of her life.
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