Is it unusual that my parent’s PCP never asked me about their needs at home?
My parents both have the same PCP who they have been seeing for the last 12 years. When they first started seeing him, they were both independent and were being treated for nothing more than high blood pressure. In the last six years dad got COPD and mom got dementia and neuropathy and lost mobility so began using a walker. Her dementia got progressively worse and was obvious. Dad’s COPD was getting worse the last two years. My sister and I are both on their Hippa forms. I accompanied them to a couple appointments. Just a few months ago I was also with them as I took dad in when he was have difficulty breathing and they said they suspected CHF. Test results later confirmed it, but I left the appointment with my very confused mother struggling with her walker, and my 89-year-old dad struggling to walk 10 feet without sitting down. My question is, is it normal that nobody at their doctor’s office ever asked me how my parents were managing all of their conditions at home? Should someone perhaps have inquired as to whether this 89 year old man with COPD and heart failure might need some extra plans to also do the caregiving to his wife with dementia? I see so frequently to ask your PCP about such issues, but he did not show any awareness. It sort of feels a bit like he brushed them off.
Kinda like don't ask, don't tell.
Yes they may say call COA and elder services in your area. If they are really knowledgeable they may have some established relationships with providers who can help. A true geriatric practitioner is a rare bird. We are all out here floundering over a universal problem...
I cringe whenever a specialist say keep in touch with your pcp, ask your pcp if you have questions etc bc in my case my parents pcp is pretty useless beyond ordering labs and writing prescriptions..
RoslynnCarter famously said, 'there are only four kinds of people in the world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers"
And yet here we are all dealing with the same problems individually instead of in policy and as a society....
Rant over, I feel your pain.
Your Mom needs a neurologist not a PCP. Your Dad needs a Polmonologist. You should have been referred to both. Mom to determine what type of Dementia she has so she gets the appropriate meds if needed. Dad so he can get medication for his COPD and maybe oxygen if he is not getting it already. Does he check his pause ox levels?
You do realize that your parents now need 24/7 care. They should not be left alone.