I am not in contact with what I call my "non-siblings". They have POA and have done nothing but allow my mom to deteriorate. They have threatened to kill me, refuse to put mom in a better living facility, refuse to take her to the doctor, killed her little dog, stolen so much from her, etc. All they care about is the $ they will inherit - so saving money is the key to their happiness. I only care about my mom and even had to get an ombudsman to go see her. Everytime, I leave from my visit, I tell her "I love her", because I never know if it will be the last time. These non-siblings have spread viscious lies about me; God knows the truth, as does my immediate family, co-workers, and friends. I have explored every legal avenue to help to no avail (can't afford an attorney - no one will do anything on a contingency basis either). I try to avoid the "non-siblings" as much as I possibly can. I live in a small town, so it is hard to avoid 2 of them. One has tried to run me off the road, has threatened me while trying to visit mom - the list goes on. It has been like this my entire life. I just don't think I could ever go to a memorial service when mom dies. I know where she will be when she is cremated - next to my dad. I would rather pay my respects to her without the eyes and looks of the creeps. I honestly don't know what I would do if I saw all of them in one spot - especially, the inside of a church (they don't go to church). I am afraid I would have a total breakdown, not just because of the loss of my mom, but the sight of such awful people all in one setting. Any thoughts from anyone experiencing a similar or past situation similar to mine? This has been on my mind since my mom was recently put on hospice;and of course, hospice cannot tell me anything.
With all your attempts to report your nonsiblings, I would think that someone looked into the POA. Most POA's have to keep records of their transactions and can be held accountable for their management of the person's assets. I wouldn't think you need a lawyer for that to be done.
Apparently, your mother was qualified for Hospice care. Is there any reason you think that is not appropriate? Sometimes, it's a great help for the patient and their family.
I would cherish the remaining time with her and try not to focus on negative energy from others. Attending the memorial service is a personal decision. What do you think would happen if you attended? I would let that determine my decision.
Angel