She was recently diagnosed. Her testing showed her short-term memory was zero (70 was passing, she scored zero). She calls me multiple times all day and into the night, but doesn't remember talking to me. I recently had surgery, and checked the messages she left to make sure there wasn't something that needed attention. She has rummaged around in her office, pulling things from the filing cabinets, so that the place is a total mess. I have put most of her bills on auto-pay, but she still tries to pay them...albeit late. When is memory care appropriate?
Alternatives that were available
Costs vs her assets
Services offered by each facility I toured (8 in all) vs her needs
Location for family convenience
My Mom was sundowning and walking ALL over her independent living facility at all hours of the night. That was an eye opener! I brought in 24 hour care. (Previously I had companion services for 5 hours a day.)
Ultimately, she fell (with the aide nearby watching!) and needed hospitalization, surgery and rehab. After that I moved her to memory care.
In hindsight, I still feel that all of the moves were at the appropriate time and that I tried to preserve both her independence and assets. Memory care is expensive but it did give me the peace of mind that she wouldn't be wandering the streets and the place I chose had activities all day long. Even if she didn't appear to be participating, at least she was with others and hearing human interaction.
It is a wonderful place where the residents have great care and love from the staff. Please don't feel bad about placing Mom. She will thrive there.
My LO initially went into a regular AL, but, she soon progressed to the point where regular AL was not really equipped to handle her needs. Plus, she began to wander and needed Secure Memory Care.
Have you toured any facilities to see what is available in her area? I'd question what is out there and if they can meet her needs. Some things that I would look for is how much support the regular AL can provide as opposed to a Memory Care unit. Some people are okay to get a reminder to go to the dining room for dinner, but, others forget where they going on the way and have to have constant reminding and supervision. It's a lot to consider.
If Mom wanders she will need a secure environment. If her behavior will be very disruptive to other residents, that is also a constraint. Otherwise you have options to consider.
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