My dad has Alzheimer’s for several years and I believe he maybe in his last stage of the disease. 3 months ago he also got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, liver cancer and lung cancer. He is in the hospice care program at my home. He has been having bowel movement problem for almost a year and now he is bed bound. The last few days he did not eat or drink much. He also maybe in pain since he groaned and moaned a lot. Since my dad can’t communicate, it’s so hard to figure out what is wrong with him and if he feels pain and where. Doctor gave him 4 to 6 months before the cancer cells become active and destroy his internal organs. Doctors refused treatment for my dad since my dad is close to 90. I don’t know how to comfort my dad. I hold his hands and he seemed to squeeze my hands a little with whatever strength he has left. He is in pain when I lift his legs to change his diaper. I gave him morphine when he groaned too much. Feel hopeless seeing him dying like this.
we are prepared for his funeral now and just hope my dad goes in peace.
Much appreciate all your inputs.
You are doing a great job .
Don’t worry about feeding him . He does not need food and may actually choke or aspirate . If he wants water ok , until he can’t anymore swallow . You could also keep his mouth moist with swabs .
Your dad shouldn’t be dealing with so much pain. When did he see the nurse last or the CNA? Is he in pain when the CNA bathes him?
Talk to the hospice nurse to better understand how to manage his pain.
I’m sorry you and dad are going through this difficult time.
And if you would prefer, hospice can transfer your dad to their hospice facility for him to live out his final days. Hospice will cover that cost 100% if your dad dies within 7 days.
All hospice homes are beautiful, peaceful and the 24/7 care is outstanding.
It sounds like it won't be long before your dad leaves this world for the next, so make sure that you leave nothing left unsaid.
He may not be in pain it may just be anxiety, but talk to the hospice nurses about it. They should be able to adjust his meds accordingly.
Your dad is so lucky to have you by his side, doing everything you can for his comfort. And to of lived in his 90s he I'm sure had an amazing life that is something to celebrate.
🙏😔
Higher doses of morphine (or equivalent) from Hospice should reduce the pain, but you need to know and accept that he will probably sleep or lose consciousness along with it. Some people think the morphine ‘killed’ their parent, and feel guilty and very angry about it. Quite possibly, damping down the body functions does indeed lead to a quicker death, but it isn’t the cause of death and it is a blessed release. It was what happened with my mother, and I didn’t regret her dying a day or two more quickly.
In the meantime, as well as holding his hands, you might like to do a very gentle massage – in fact just stroking his body. It may relax him and help with the pain, as well as being a lovely thing for you to do and for him to receive.
Very best wishes to you both, and love from Margaret