I work in memory care at a facility. One resident is locked out of her room daily, all day. She is miserable. All she wants to do is go in her room and lie down but her son won't allow it. He wants her to be social but the lady is so unhappy and constantly asks staff if they have her room key. She told me she wished she was dead. She is therefore forced to sit in the TV room or do activities, which she will sometimes participate in but mostly just sits in the TV room being miserable.
I will say that I recently heard a lady tell me that the Nursing Home Rehab where her dad was staying (he has advanced dementia) refused to let him go into his room because they had to watch him. He is a fall risk. I'm not sure if that is legal.
I suggest you and other staff address this issue with the administrator and ask for and expect his/her involvement. Until then, why don't you and other staff see
if you can't come up with some way to follow her sons demand and yet meet her need for some quiet time. How about a sofa or a recliner placed in a quiet place where she can have a nap or be alone. Let her consider it "her place". Be creative, I'll bet if you put your heads together you, the staff, can come up with something. Don't waste your energy being angry with the son. Use your energy being creative and help this lady have some peace and quiet!
Quit smoking, don't drink, eat your veggies, get up when they tell you and stay in your bed all night whether you are sleepy or not, don't come to the dining room in you PJs, can't have your pets, and you have to watch inane TV shows and take part in activities whether you want to or not. And they have the nerve to insist it isn't an institution.... get real!