(This is NOT a case of dementia. She does not have dementia.) As of today, I am officially no longer going to be able to bathe my mother in the house. Despite all of our shower/bathroom upgrades and safety precautions, I just can't do it anymore! She cries and collapses and acts like I'm abusing her! She's too weak to be transferred, using all of her durable medical equipment, and it has become unsafe and UNPLEASANT. I want to drop her off at a facility that is equipped to bathe her safely. (Specifically, in south Florida.)
If there are truly no changes needed to make the bathroom safer and more inviting then my advice would be to contact a care agency to hire a bath aide who can come into your home.
People often have to be bathed in bed when they can't get into the bathroom anymore for whatever reason. The "bath", when done by a professional, is done with no mess and only a few towels and a washcloth or two leftover.
I really like the idea of the shower chair and the heater. Up until yesterday, she was able to walk into the shower (customized, level flooring) with her walker and then hold onto the grab bars, while I removed her walker and gave her a shower. It was NEVER enjoyable for either of us, but I got it done within 4 minutes. But due to her anemia, which is making her weak, the whole experience is just becoming more and more dangerous. She has recently lost her standing tolerance, and now must transfer to a commode chair. But it's not safe (again, due to her weakness), and the drama is not worth it!
Transferring her to a shower chair and rolling her in sounds like a wonderful fix. $$$ Wow, more money, more money... Hoping a doctor's script might get us a chair through Medicare.
Thank you!